


The Choices of the Chosen

by KouriArashi



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (but for once it's not Maryse), Alternate Universe - Gladiators, Alternate Universe - No Shadowhunters, Angst, Child Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Families of Choice, Gladiators, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Slow Build, lack of agency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:42:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 46,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8070205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KouriArashi/pseuds/KouriArashi
Summary: The day after his 21st birthday, Alec is sent to the demonic court as a gladiator, where he makes both friends and enemies ... along with meeting Magnus Bane, who doesn't seem to fit in either category.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU where the Shadowhunters were never created and the demons rule the world, using the humans as slaves and every year bringing some to the demonic court to fight for their entertainment. This was very loosely inspired by The Hunger Games, which is where I got the idea of the reaping, although pretty much everything that happens after that is different. =D
> 
> Warnings for graphic violence and a lot of angst over being forced to kill other people to survive, mentions of prostitution/concubines, additional warnings for Magnus being abused/used for his power by his father, and a lot of themes surrounding lack of agency in both Alec's situation and Magnus'.
> 
> There are a couple additional pairings that I didn't want to list because they get very minimal screentime, including Jace/Clary, Luke/Jocelyn, and Lydia/Jonathan Monteverde.

 

Birthdays aren’t much to celebrate in Idris. Alec supposes that surviving another year is something to be happy about, but it’s a countdown, nothing more or less. The day he turns twenty-one, he’ll be entered into the pool of candidates for the tournaments held at the demonic court, like everybody else. So what is there to celebrate? Every birthday is a reminder that he’s one year closer to dying.

“You shouldn’t be so fatalistic about it,” Maryse says, not looking up from the cake batter she’s making. “You don’t know that you’ll be chosen!”

“Yes, I do,” Alec says, and he does. He’s paid attention at the reaping every year, and he knows what the demons go for. They just look for whoever’s most physically fit, and there’s a good chance that’s going to be him.

He knows that some people stop eating and try to waste away before the reaping, but he’s never seen the point in that. Being weak in their world is a chance he won’t take. It’s just a different way to die. In the mines or the fields or at sea. It doesn’t matter. He’s made his choice; he’s going to go out fighting.

Sometimes he wonders why the demons haven’t just exterminated all of humankind, but he supposes that then they wouldn’t have anyone to mine their jewels or harvest their grapes or do any of the work they certainly aren’t going to do themselves. And they wouldn’t have anyone to entertain them by dying, either.

The reaping is the day after his birthday, and there are mixed opinions about that. His parents say he’s lucky. The pool includes everyone who turned twenty-one the preceding year, so he’ll be the youngest person there. That will make him smaller and weaker, they say. Alec doesn’t buy it. If the pool was measured in years rather than months or days, then maybe. But what sort of difference is two or three months going to make? Personally, he’s bitter about it. He’ll have the shortest life out of anyone chosen. Even if he survives, his life, his real life, will be over.

“You don’t know that you’ll be chosen,” Robert says again, during dinner, and again Alec just says ‘yes I do’, because he does.

It’s not that he’s that much stronger than the others. Taller, maybe – he might be the tallest. But there’s really no room for anybody in Idris to be soft. Even the people whose jobs don’t include hard labor still have to wash clothes by hand, carry their things to the market, fix their own broken down houses. Alec has always been strong. When he had turned fifteen and the Clave came to assign him a job, nobody was surprised that he got sent to the mines. He’s done well there, as well as anyone can, meaning that he had survived this long.

He doesn’t know how he knows he’ll be chosen. He just does. He can feel it in his bones, the pull of inevitability. He heard his parents discussing it once. His father’s opinion that it’s just a defense mechanism, that he can’t allow himself to hope for anything better, or else he won’t even be able to get up in the morning. Maybe he’s right. But Alec doesn’t feel hopeless, doesn’t feel sad. He doesn’t really feel much of anything. He never has. Maybe that’s just a different sort of defense mechanism.

They eat the birthday cake. Max gives Alec a present – a ‘neat looking rock’ that he had found on the ground outside. Alec promises to treasure it forever.

After they’ve gone to bed, and he can hear his brother quietly sleeping next to him, he rolls over and gives the stone to Izzy. “Here. You keep it for me.”

“You don’t know,” Izzy says, holding back tears. “I know you always say you do, but you don’t.”

For years, Alec has always responded with ‘yes, I do’. But it’s the last night, and it’s his sister, and he knows what she desperately needs him to say. That maybe there’s a chance he’ll still be there when the sun sets tomorrow. That maybe he’ll live, they’ll both live, they’ll be together. Will it be harder for her when he gets chosen, if he gives her hope now?

He realizes that it won’t. That Izzy will hold onto hope until the last possible second, until long after it should have died. So for tonight, just this once, he manages a smile and says, “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe it won’t be me.”

Izzy smiles tearfully at him, then closes her eyes and sleeps.

She’ll turn twenty-one in two years, but she won’t be chosen. He knows that, too. She’s too pretty for the tournaments. They might take her as a concubine, but that’s still a fate better than the games. They’ve heard that the demons’ mistresses are actually fairly well-treated, compared to the other workers and slaves.

If he’s chosen, then Max won’t be. In order to promote genetic diversity and keep the humans alive, anyone who’s chosen can pick one family member to exclude from the pool. Since he doesn’t need to worry about Izzy, then he can save his grace pick for Max. Izzy will know why.

“Is that why you’ve always been so certain you’ll be chosen?” Maryse asked him once, after Max had turned nine. “Do you _want_ to be chosen? So you can protect your brother?”

Alec had just shrugged. So while Robert thinks Alec’s certainty is a defense mechanism, Maryse thinks he’s doing it for his family. Maybe they’re both right, in a way. Or maybe Alec is, and it’s just fate.

He’s up with the sun. Cleans himself up with the near-freezing water, and makes breakfast for everyone. They eat in silence. Max isn’t quite old enough yet to understand what’s happening, but he knows that it’s bad. Once they’re done eating, Alec does his chores around the house. Izzy tries to stop him, but Alec insists he’ll feel better if he does them himself.

Everyone wears the same thing to the reaping: a pair of black pants and a black tank top. He had gotten his the week before. He puts them on and sneaks out the back door before anyone can realize he’s gone. They’ll catch up to him before long, but he wants just one more chance to walk the familiar paths of town, to enjoy the wind in the trees and the sun on his back. He doesn’t want anybody feeling sorry for him while he does it.

At a few minutes before noon, he walks into the clearing at the center of town. Most of the other candidates are already there. Six of them, all told. Their families are gathered around them. Izzy rushes over to him and starts berating him for sneaking out, but she doesn’t really mean it.

There’s a sudden rumble of thunder and a portal opens in one corner of the clearing. Several demons step through, tall and pale, some of them with horns or fangs or scales, some of them wearing necklaces made of teeth or ears. Most of the people in the clearing cringe away. Alec doesn’t. The demons are here for the reaping, they’re not going to kill anyone unless things get out of hand.

“Line up!” one of the demons shouts, and several of the others laugh as the humans hastily try to get themselves in order. Alec glances down the line of candidates. He _is_ the tallest, although not the most muscular. Two of them have chosen the ‘waste down to nothing’ tactic, but several of the others clearly do manual labor like he does. Several of them are trembling. One is quietly crying and trying to pry a younger sibling off his leg. Most of them have never been so close to an actual demon before.

The demon in charge walks up and down the line, looking each of them over. He grabs one of them by the jaw to examine her teeth, makes another show his hands. When he gets to Alec, he stops and takes a step back as if to view him from a better angle. Alec holds his gaze and says nothing. The demon moves on to the next candidate, a woman who’s shaking so hard that she can barely keep on her feet.

Would it better if he cried and trembled like the others? Maybe. But it wouldn’t be genuine, and the demons would probably know. That’s just not who he is.

After several long minutes, the demon steps back from the line, points at Alec, and says, “Him.”

There are gasps and cries of joy from the surrounding candidates, whose families rush over to be reunited with them. Alec watches them and still doesn’t feel very much. He’s not surprised, he’s not afraid. He just is.

“Two minutes,” the demon says. They had learned that giving the humans time to bid farewell to their loved ones could help avoid riots.

Maryse and Robert walk over and embrace him wordlessly. There’s nothing that can be said. Robert lifts Max up so he can hug his brother, and for the first time, Alec feels a spike of despair as he holds Max against his shoulder. Then they let go, leaving him facing Izzy. She hugs him tightly and whispers in his ear, “I will come for you. Do you understand that? I don’t care if I have to burn Edom to the ground. I will come for you. Promise me that you’ll survive until I can get to you.”

“I will,” Alec says, burying his face in her hair, “if you’ll promise me that you’ll survive, too.”

“I promise.” Izzy has to be pulled off of him by their parents. She’s still shouting after him as the demons herd him through the portal. “I promise, Alec!”

A bare minute later, Alec is standing in Edom, the demonic city. He looks around quickly, taking in his surroundings. He’s in another open courtyard, with pillars made of obsidian, some of which have fallen and created piles of debris. The sky above them is a pale gray, with no sun to be seen. The courtyard is filled with people, mostly demons but several dozen humans like him, clad only in their black uniforms and many of them looking terrified. As the minutes trickle by, the courtyard continues to fill. The reaping is done every year to replenish the tournament’s contenders. Most of these people will be dead by the time the year is out.

“This way!” one of the demons shout, and they begin shoving the humans into a rough line, leading them down into the tunnels below the city. Small groups peel off slowly. Alec knows approximately how this works, how the humans are separated into teams and each team gets privileges or rewards when someone from it wins a tournament. Team loyalty, pack bonding, it’s the best way to get the humans to fight each other.

He’s by himself by the time he’s shoved through a door, into a room with three other humans. It’s small, barely a dozen square feet, with cots shoved up against the walls to either side. The walls and floor are both stone, although the walls are a lot rougher, without the benefit of having been smoothed down by hundreds of feet over time. There’s a little alcove at the back with a toilet and a sink, without any hint of privacy in sight. There’s no other furniture, no bureaus or shelves. He can see some things shoved underneath each cot, so presumably that’s where the other gladiators keep their belongings. He looks them all up and down quickly, and there’s a moment of awkward silence before one of them says, “Hey, we got a draft pick this year! Not too bad.”

“Hello to you too,” Alec replies. The door booms shut behind him.

“Don’t mind Raj,” another voice says, and Alec sees a blonde get off one of the cots and extend a hand. “I’m Jace. Welcome to Hawk. That’s Raj and Lydia.”

“Alec.” He shakes the hand and looks at the other two. “I guess they just throw us into the deep end, huh?”

“Yeah, you think this is bad, wait until tomorrow,” Jace says. “Reaping day is a big deal for you, but tomorrow is weeding day.”

“Weeding day?”

“Officially it’s called the Day of Tournaments,” Lydia says. “All the candidates are selected based on how they look more than anything else. So there are bound to be some who can’t or won’t fight. The Day of Tournaments is to weed out the losers that got brought in. There are usually about thirty recruits, so it’s thirty tournaments. Fifteen winners, and fifteen dead losers.”

“Jesus,” Alec mutters. He hadn’t exactly expected to get a lot of time to settle in, but the fact that he’s going to be in his first fight _tomorrow_ is something he hadn’t exactly prepared for. “Okay, presuming I survive that, then what?”

Raj sits back down on his cot. “There are fights every day, but most of them are just sparring matches. The only time fights are to the death are the actual tournaments, which are every other week, and you won’t always be fighting in those. And to be technical, they’re not to the death, they’re to the point where one gladiator is unable to continue. That just often happens to be, you know, because they’re dead. The exception to that is weeding day – you have to actually kill your opponent to win.”

Alec does some quick math. Thirty candidates had been brought in, and the teams seemed to have four people on them. Presuming that most of the teams had had three surviving members, that meant thirty teams, but that couldn’t be right. He probes carefully. “How many teams are there?”

“Thirteen,” Jace says, and takes pity on Alec, seeing him try to work out how often he’ll be fighting. “And the tournaments are usually one-on-one, but sometimes they’re one team against another. So in theory, you would only have to fight in an actual tournament a few times a year. Except that as people die, the rate you have to fight increases.”

“Also, popular gladiators get requested more,” Lydia says. “Hawk is a high-ranking team. We fight almost every other month.”

“Great,” Alec says.

“They put you with us because they expect you to do well,” Raj says. “Don’t let us down, okay?”

“I don’t plan to.” Alec sinks down onto the unoccupied cot, hesitates, then asks, “But how do you do it?”

“Do what?” Jace asks.

“Kill someone that you know only wants to survive as much as you do.”

The three gladiators look at each other. Finally, Jace says, “You don’t. You kill someone who doesn’t want to survive as much. That’s what makes you the winner.”

In the distance, a bell clangs. “Lunch,” Raj says, standing up. “Then we’ll be in training. And you might understand a bit more after that.”

Alec isn’t sure what that means, but he gets up and follows them. They’re wearing the same basic outfits, so he blends in. It’s hard to tell who’s new and who isn’t. Most of the seasoned gladiators have longer hair and the men have beards, but he supposes that some of the recruits probably do, too. Men outnumber women at least three to one. He follows Jace, and Lydia whispers instructions into his ear. “Never look any of the guards in the eye. They take it as insolence. Showers are at the end of the day and meals twice a day. They feed us fairly well, all things considered.”

They come out into a large cavern lit by large globes of white light. Alec has to shield his eyes against them for the first minute. He’s given a tray with some bread, cheese, and grapes, as well as a tin cup of water, then joins the rest of Hawk at their end of one of the long tables. He’s just about to sit down when someone kicks the stool out from underneath him. Jace manages to grab his tray before his food goes everywhere, but can’t get to Alec himself.

“Fresh meat, huh?” a voice grinds out. Alec looks up expecting to see a guard, but it’s another gladiator. He’s much older than Alec is, with a shaved head and what looks like a perpetual smirk. “Hope he doesn’t let you guys down. Scorpion’s not stuck with any rookies, you know.”

“Get lost, Valentine,” Jace says. “It’s bad enough he got reaped, don’t make him deal with your bullshit when he hasn’t even been here a day.”

“He’s gonna have to deal with worse,” Valentine says, and saunters away.

Raj grabs Alec by the wrist and heaves him upwards while Lydia rights his stool. “Bullies like him will help you learn to kill real fast.”

Lydia sighs and rubs her hands over her face. “The demons – they’re clever about how they do this, you know. The way they use us against each other. They know that none of us came here wanting to kill other humans. But . . .”

“But there’s a reason we’re on teams,” Alec says.

Jace nods. “Part of it is simple – you win, you get to live – but see the board up there?” He points over to one side of the cavern where the wall is black with gleaming red writing. Alec runs down the list of names – Scorpion, Viper, Shark, Hawk – and then the numbers next to their names. “Whoever’s in the top spot gets privileges and perks. You don’t have to kill your opponent to win, but you get more points if you do, so there’s not a lot of mercy.”

“And because there are occasional team fights, teams with even one weak member suffer and suffer fast,” Raj says. “Let’s say you died tomorrow. Well, the next team fight we’re in, we might have to fight three on four.”

Alec grimaces a little. “So anyone who loses a team member is at a disadvantage for the rest of the year.”

“And whoever’s on top takes that as permission to be an absolute ass to everyone else,” Lydia says, and lifts her chin after Valentine. “Case in point.”

“He looks older.”

“Yeah, he’s the king of the shit heap. Been here almost twenty years, or so he says. None of us are quite sure if we believe that.” Jace shrugs. “That being said, he’s a hell of a fighter, and Scorpion is almost always at the top or near the top of the board.”

Alec looks at the board again. “And Hawk is number four?”

“Currently, yeah,” Raj says. “Try not to die tomorrow, it would really fuck with our standing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Alec thinks that over. “But if half the new recruits die tomorrow, a bunch of teams will only have three members all year.”

Lydia nods. “Most of the time, for team fights, they actually do match us up against a team with the same numbers. But not always. It depends on what sort of drama they’re after. I’ve seen two on two, but I also saw four on one the year before last.”

“How long have you guys been here?” Alec asks.

“Four years for me,” Lydia says, “and six for Raj. Jace was new last year.”

“So is Valentine an ass to everybody, or just you guys?” Alec asks.

“Everybody, but especially us,” Lydia says. “We knocked him out of the top spot for a little while and he’s still pissed about it. Then Valentine killed Luke and we dropped several places and had to fight the rest of the year with three.”

“So why target you, if he won?” Alec asks.

“Because Jace kicked his ass during a sparring match the next week,” Lydia says, smirking.

Jace waves this off. “I was only able to do that because Luke had nearly killed him and he still hadn’t recovered.”

“Didn’t make him feel any better about it, though,” Raj says, and he’s grinning, too. “He kicked the _shit_ out of him, it was really impressive.” He adds to Alec, “Technically we’re not allowed to kill someone during a sparring match, but it still happens. Jace spared Valentine’s life, and that made him even more pissed.”

“I should have killed him,” Jace says. “It’s not like we’re going to get another chance.”

Lydia shrugs a little. “You never know.”

Alec is still mulling all this over. “So Valentine isn’t stuck with any rookies? His whole team survived the year?”

“Yeah.” Jace sounds glum. “Like Lydia was saying – sometimes they try to match things up pretty equally. But sometimes they just want a bloodbath. Seasoned veterans get put up against scared rookies all the time.”

“That four on one fight?” Lydia mentioned. “That was one veteran against four rookies. He killed all four of them. It just depends on what kind of fight they’re after.”

Alec nods. A bell clangs again, and everyone starts to get up. He’s been done eating for several minutes, so he follows them, putting his tray in the stack. They walk for about five minutes in silence before coming out in another large room. This one has a dirt floor instead of stone, and he can see racks of weapons lined up at one end, barrels of water stacked along one wall.

“Okay,” Jace says, as they stake out a corner. “Show me what you’ve got.”

“No weapons?” Alec asks, glancing over at the racks. He’s not sure of the etiquette, but a lot of people are going for them already.

“Let’s start with the basics.”

Alec nods and holds his fists up in front of himself. They circle each other warily for a minute – or at least he’s wary. He doubts that Jace is. He tries a jab here and a punch there and never gets through Jace’s guard. “Come on, put in some effort!” Raj shouts.

Lydia elbows him. “He’s testing Jace’s defenses. It’s a smart way to fight. Let him do his own thing.”

Alec swings, misses, blocks. Jace grabs him by the wrist and twists him around and the next thing he knows, they’re wrestling. He feels like he’s fighting for his life even though he knows Jace isn’t going to seriously hurt him. He knows these people are going to depend on him as much as he’s going to depend on them, so he does his best and fights hard. Jace kicks his ass in three minutes.

“Not bad,” Lydia says, helping him up. He’s winded and a little bruised, but that’s all. “Your offense needs a lot of work, but your defense is actually pretty solid.”

“Thanks,” Alec says. He glances around as he hears shouting. “What’s going on?”

“A fight,” Raj says, his gaze skimming over the crowd. “Rat and Wasp, I think. They’re always at each others’ throats.”

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to, I don’t know, save our strength?” Alec asks.

“Sure. But tempers run hot.” Jace shakes his head. “You’ll understand once you’ve been here a little longer. It’s hard to . . .” His voice trails off and he looks at Lydia.

“You’ll get tired,” Lydia says quietly. “You’ll be hurt, all the time. The stronger people steal from the weak, take their food, and then sometimes the weaker people gang up on the strong. Whoever’s leading always has to be on guard against a mob who wants whatever special rights they’re being given. Someone you care about will die, and you’ll blame the person who killed them even though it’s not really their fault. Someone will look at you the wrong way or say something that pisses you off, and you’ll snap. We all do. It’s just something you learn to live with.”

Alec sighs and pushes both hands through his hair, then gestures to Jace. “Give me another try.”

Jace nods, his face serious. “Hit me,” he says. “You’ve gotta be willing to hurt me, Alec. I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.”

They spar back and forth for about half an hour. Lydia and Raj observe and offer tips on technique, assess where Alec is weak and needs work. After a while, Raj grabs a bo staff for each of them and they start training him to use that.

“I guess the people in charge decide when we’re going to use weapons and when we’re not?” Alec asks.

“Yeah,” Jace says. “And which ones, too. So you have to learn the basics with all of them.”

Alec thinks that over. “What about tomorrow?”

“Hand to hand only,” Raj says.

Alec’s stomach twists despite himself. He doesn’t know that he can kill someone with his bare hands. Actually, he’s almost positive that he can’t. They don’t get details on the fights back in Idris – only who’s winning, who’s popular, who’s died. It had never occurred to him that he might have to kill someone with his fists.

Lydia seems to know what he’s thinking, because she says quietly, “I didn’t think I could either. But when it’s kill or be killed – the strength is inside you. You’ll find it.”

“I guess.” Alec thinks about whether or not it would be worth it to find that sort of strength. He had promised Izzy that he would survive, but he doesn’t feel like Izzy would really want him to kill other people. At the same time, he can’t sentence his team to being a man short for an entire year. He gives a dry little smile as he realizes that and thinks about how smart it is. The demons throw him into the deep end, let the team members guide him and force him to rely on them, creating a fierce bond immediately. They’re more clever than he had thought.

They continue working for a while. The others seem pretty optimistic about his chances the next day, although he feels like they’re also trying not to get _too_ attached to him, just in case. He wonders if it’s always like that, the night before a fight. “How far in advance do we know when we’re going to be in a tournament?”

“Not until the day of,” Jace says. “They announce it in the morning, who’s going to be fighting that day. It’s so nobody slacks off in their sparring matches ahead of time, trying to avoid injury.”

That makes sense, and honestly Alec thinks he would prefer it that way. He can’t imagine how he’s going to sleep tonight, knowing his first fight is going to be the next day. He supposes that he’ll get used to that, too.

Jace is talking about knife-fighting – about how the trick is not to try to avoid the knife entirely but to deflect the damage to non-vital spots – when Alec sees a splash of color for the first time. It catches his eye as he sees a man moving through the room, wearing a red jacket. “Hey, who’s that?” he asks, and the other three turn to take a look.

“That’s Bane,” Lydia says. “The warlock prince.”

Alec has heard of him, once or twice. Asmodeus has several warlock children, but Bane is the oldest and the most powerful. He looks at him curiously. He’s never seen a warlock before. He looks surprisingly human, until Alec catches a glimpse of his cat’s eyes, and he moves through the crowd with predatory grace. “What’s he doing down here?”

“He probably came down to check out the rookies,” Raj says. “Bane’s a big fan of the tournaments. Word is he has a hand in the match schedule sometimes, and protects his favorites.”

“If only we knew how to become one of those,” Alec says.

Lydia shakes her head. “That’s not something you want, Alec. Sometimes . . . when someone is injured too badly to continue fighting, but not injured quite badly enough to end the match, Bane calls off the fight before the winner can strike a killing blow. And then he takes them up to his chambers, and they’re never seen again.” She shudders a little. “Poor bastards. Better to die quick in the ring, if you ask me. That, um.” She closes her eyes for a moment. “That’s what happened to Luke, actually. Valentine had him down and was just, just playing with him, and Magnus stepped in and took him away. It’s better not to think about what must have happened after that.”

“I’ll agree with that,” Alec says, but for some reason he can’t keep his eyes off the warlock as he moves through the room, stopping occasionally to watch the training. Wherever he goes, the gladiators lower their gaze and cringe away, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. After a minute, Alec manages to turn away and go back to learning about knives from Jace.

The day goes by more quickly than he would have expected. Before long, they’re having their second meal, and then their showers. It’s a good thing that Alec isn’t modest, since the showers are communal, without even gender segregation. They toss their dirty clothes into enormous baskets, and go back to their rooms naked. Even once they’re back, the others show no inclination to dress, so Alec assumes that clothes are daywear only. The rooms are plenty warm enough. It’s always summer in Edom.

There’s a bundle on the fourth cot. On top there’s a pillow, a blanket, and a towel which he quickly uses to dry off. The rest is three more tank tops and pairs of pants and a pair of shoes with soft soles. There’s nothing else. He rubs the stubble on his chin and looks at Raj’s dark beard, Jace’s fine blonde one. “No razors or combs or anything? Valentine was clean shaven.”

“Privileges,” Raj says dryly. “One of the ones the winning team gets is a private bathroom with that sort of thing. For the rest of us, they’ll come around and cut your hair once a month to keep it from getting unmanageable.”

“What else do the winners get?” Alec asks curiously.

“Mattresses,” Lydia says, sitting down and rubbing her feet. “Shoes with actual soles. More than one lantern. Even books, if you ask for them.”

“She forgot the most important part,” Raj says, grinning, and Lydia rolls her eyes. “Concubines.”

“Lucky us,” Alec says, rolling his eyes. He’s never had sex, mostly because he’s not interested in women and he’s never found a man interested in him. He wonders briefly if there are any male concubines, but he doesn’t think he could have sex with one if there was. Not with someone who was being forced to be there.

“Windows,” Jace says wistfully. “I miss having a window. I mean, it had bars on it, sure, but it was still nice to see an actual sunrise occasionally.” He shakes his head. “Better get some sleep, rookie. You’re going to have a long day tomorrow.”

“That or a really short one,” Raj says with a snort.

“Don’t be such an asshole,” Lydia says, smacking him on the arm. To Alec, she says, “Ignore Raj. It’s a defense mechanism from losing so many people.”

“Hey, fuck you, Lydia,” Raj says, though he doesn’t really seem angry.

Alec shakes his head. “I’m happier not being treated like I’m fragile anyway.” He slumps down on the cot and pulls the thin blanket over himself.

He doesn’t sleep. The minutes creep by slowly. He hears Raj snoring after a little while. He tosses and turns, knowing that he needs rest, and wonders what’s wrong with him. He had slept the night before, waiting to be chosen. Why is he so afraid now? Is he afraid of dying, or afraid of killing? Or both?

After a while, he can’t hold still any longer. He pushes the blanket aside and gets off the cot, pacing around the narrow confines of the room. The others will be sound asleep by now, he won’t disturb –

“Hey,” Jace says softly, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. “Hey, come sit down.”

“I can’t – ” Alec’s chest heaves as he struggles for breath. His fists are clenched so hard that they ache. “I can’t, I don’t, don’t know what’s wrong with me – ”

Jace gets him by the shoulders and guides him back to his cot, sits him down and then sits down next to him. “You’re scared. I was, too. I remember this first night like it was yesterday. Longest night of my life.”

Alec tries to breathe, tries to focus on Jace and Jace’s quiet voice. “I promised – promised my sister I would stay alive, but I, I don’t want to – I don’t think I can – ”

Jace hooks an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in for a half hug. “I know it won’t make you feel any better to hear that it gets easier. That it’ll be easier than you think it’ll be. Raj told me that, and I threw up on his feet. I didn’t want to be a killer, and I especially didn’t want killing to become easy. You can’t think of it like that, not if you want to stay sane. You don’t fight to kill. You just fight to win, to survive. Fight for your sister, for your promises, for your team. Fight for yourself.”

“I’m just – so scared that – ” Alec has to swallow hard before he can keep talking. “I’ll get into the ring and it’ll be someone else who doesn’t want to fight. That I’ll have to – have to move first. I don’t know that I’ll be able to. What if we just, just stand there and refuse to fight?”

“Then they’ll kill you both,” Jace says, “but that won’t happen. Everyone here knows that fighting is the only path to survival. Even if they don’t want to, they will.”

Alec lets out a shuddering breath. After a minute, he manages a nod. “Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem. We’re family now. We’re all that any of us have left.” Jace gets up off the cot. “Get some sleep, bro. You’re going to need it.”

“Yeah.” Alec lays down, lets the last of his tears into the pillow. He thinks of Izzy, waiting at home, and tells himself that he has to stay alive if he ever wants to see her again, no matter how small the odds are. Then he almost laughs, realizing that only now, after the worst has happened and his predictions have come true, has he figured out how to have hope.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	2. Chapter 2

 

Tournament days are different from most days, Lydia tells Alec as they get dressed the next morning. Most days start with sparring matches, then they have their first meal, and then training for the rest of the day until the second meal. But tournaments can last all day, depending on the schedule, and a tournament can last a lot longer than a sparring match, depending on the level of skill involved.

“Why don’t we get breakfast?” Alec asks.

“So they don’t have to clean it up if we puke,” Raj says.

Alec combs his fingers through his hair. “I guess that makes sense.”

A bell clangs and all of them look up. “The arena’s calling our name,” Raj says, and pulls the door open. Alec takes a deep breath and follows.

He’s seen the arena, as it happens – it’s where they had brought all the recruits the day before. It’s different now, though, because the stands are packed with demons and warlocks who have come to view the tournament. The roar of the crowd is incredible, and he feels his knees shake. Each of the teams has their own door, and now they’re arranged around the edges in little clusters of four.

“You’re going to do great,” Jace says, rubbing his shoulders. Alec tries not to whimper.

Once everyone is inside, there’s a huge rolling boom as all the doors are closed at once. The announcer has to introduce all of the recruits and say which teams they’re from. Alec has been wondering how thirty recruits could possibly be assimilated into thirteen teams, then realizes that while some teams only received one recruit, most received two or three, and some of the teams are entirely created from recruits. He supposes that if there were fights where an entire team fights another, it would make sense that some entire teams would get wiped out.

After each team is announced, there’s a roar from certain parts of the crowd, as the demons cheer on their favorites. “Alexander Lightwood, Hawk!” gets a particularly loud roar. Alec has no idea how to respond, but Jace and Raj both grab one of his hands and thrust them into the air, and the cheer persists for several seconds.

“I think I’m going to pass out,” he says.

“And that’s why they don’t let us eat,” Raj replies.

“You’re going to be fine,” Lydia tells him. “You’re a lot stronger than you think you are.”

Alec manages a nod and tries to breathe. He’s not sure if he wants to be called right away and get the waiting over with, or put it off as long as possible so he can live longer.

The first fight is Rat versus Wasp, and another huge roar goes up. Alec remembers what the others had said about those two teams having a rivalry. Apparently it translates to their fans as well. He watches the fight with a churning stomach. It’s short and brutal. They trade blows for less than a minute before the larger man gets the other in a headlock and breaks his neck.

“I’m definitely going to pass out,” Alec mumbles.

The second fight is Viper versus Wolf, and it’s a lot longer. Neither of the fighters seems to have enough brute strength to kill someone with their bare hands, so they go back and forth for a small eternity until one of them manages to grab a rock from one of the piles of debris that litters the landscape and bash the other’s head in with it.

“Can we do that?” Alec asks, as the next fight is announced. “I thought it was hand to hand?”

“Hand to hand only means that you don’t bring any weapons in with you,” Lydia says. “You can use the surroundings as much as you like.”

Alec nods and breathes a little easier, then wonders what the hell is wrong with him, that the concept of killing someone with a rock is an actual relief to him.

He doesn’t have long to wonder. The next fight is short, and then –

“Samuel Nightshade, from Vulture, versus Alexander Lightwood, from Hawk!”

Jace squeezes Alec’s shoulder and then Raj half shoves him forward, since his feet seem frozen. He manages to walk, not stumble, into the center of the ring. He stands in the appointed spot and stares at his opponent, a muscular man nearly an inch taller than him. He wonders if this man has a family, too. Wonders if he made promises to them. Wonders if –

The bell clangs, and there’s no time to wonder anything else, because Nightshade charges forward with a bellow, gets his shoulder in Alec’s abdomen, and knocks them both to the ground. Alec barely manages to get an arm up to protect himself as the man rains blows down on his face. The crowd is going wild around them.

Frustrated by his inability to get in a killing blow, Nightshade grabs Alec by both his wrists and wrenches them apart. That’s a mistake. Alec lunges upright, smashing his forehead into the bridge of the other man’s nose. He reels backwards, letting Alec go as both hands automatically go to his face. But he doesn’t let the pain stop him from struggling back to his feet as quickly as Alec does. He charges forward again and Alec ducks to the side. He gets one foot up and scrambles up a pile of debris and then jumps on Nightshade from behind, locking his arm around the man’s throat. He fights back hard, trying to pry Alec’s arm off and eventually throwing himself backwards so his full weight lands on top of Alec. But Alec refuses to let go. Every molecule in his body has come together to focus on this one thing. Nightshade kicks and thrashes, but his struggles are weakening. A huge roar goes up as his body goes limp.

Alec crawls out from underneath him, panting. Nothing else happens as he manages to get to his knees. The bell hasn’t rung. His opponent is unconscious, but not dead, and the demons are waiting for him to finish it before declaring him the winner. He stands up, his hands shaking, and picks up a piece of rock from the debris. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, kneeling beside Nightshade. “I’m sorry.”

The man’s eyes fly open and he grabs Alec by the wrist. Alec lets out a cry of surprise despite himself as he’s knocked backwards, and the crowd goes mad again. Now Nightshade is the one with the upper hand, with his hands locked around Alec’s throat, pressing him hard into the ground. There’s no thought in Alec’s mind as he brings the rock up and smashes it into the side of Nightshade’s head. Nothing but raw fear and desperation. He hits him again and again and again, until finally Nightshade lets him go and falls backwards, and even then, Alec keeps hitting him.

The bell clangs. Alec doesn’t stop. The adrenaline is too strong, the fear too powerful. He doesn’t even realize he’s sobbing. Someone grabs him by the shoulder and he whips around so fast that he overbalances and falls on his ass. It’s Jace, with Lydia and Raj behind him. “Hey,” Jace says, “you can stop now. He’s dead, you can stop now.”

Alec manages a nod and then swallows down another sob. The crowd is still cheering. Jace and Lydia get him on his feet. Raj takes his hand and thrusts it into the air, getting another cheer. Alec has never felt less like a winner in his life.

They have to stay for the rest of the tournament, but nobody can make him watch. Lydia gets a cup of water and helps him sip while she cleans the blood off his face and his hands. He’s shaking so hard that he spills water everywhere. The tournament doesn’t end until nearly two hours later, and he’s still shaking.

When they get into the cafeteria, they’re served plates of beef and potatoes and some vegetable he doesn’t recognize. Alec looks at the red meat and feels nauseous. “I don’t think I can eat right now.”

“Be a shame to waste it, we only get red meat on tournament days. Plus it’s all you’ll get until dinner,” Raj says, but then gentles his tone. “Just try, okay? Start with the potatoes, they’ll settle your stomach. You did great today.”

Alec nods and is surprised to find that Raj is right. The potatoes do settle his stomach, and he’s able to eat the rest of his meal. The cafeteria is abuzz with noise, chatter among the various teams. Alec looks up at the board and sees that there are only twelve teams listed now. One of the teams that had been composed entirely of rookies had been completely wiped out. And Hawk has moved from fourth place to third, switching places with Shark.

They go into the training room, but nobody’s really working. Jace says that training is typically suspended on tournament days and they use the time to socialize instead. The team introduces him to some of the other gladiators they’re on friendly terms with. Nobody’s really _friends_ with anyone outside their team, since they never know who might be an opponent tomorrow, but still, they spend so much time together that it’s impossible not to at least get to know one another.

“You know what I smell?” Valentine asks, sauntering over.

“Your own ass?” Raj suggests.

“I smell blood in the water,” Valentine says with a smirk.

“Wrong team, Valentine,” Lydia says. “It’s sharks who do that, not scorpions.”

Valentine ignores their commentary. His gaze is fixed on Alec. “You’re a weak link, kid. You weren’t going to kill your opponent, were you. Didn’t have the stomach. You won’t last here long with an attitude like that.”

“What’s your point?” Alec asks. He doesn’t bother to argue because he doesn’t know whether or not Valentine was right. It’s true that he had hesitated. He doesn’t know what would have happened if Nightshade hadn’t regained consciousness and attacked him again.

“Just that I’m looking forward to facing down a three hawk team later this year,” Valentine says, gives them a wink as he walks away.

“Ugh, what a jackass,” Jace says. “You did fine, Alec. Don’t listen to him.”

Much later, after the second meal, they get back to their rooms. Alec finds another bundle on his bed and frowns at it, unwrapping it to find a ring that’s shaped like a claw. “What the hell is this?”

“Damn,” Raj says, his eyes going wide. “Well, _somebody_ liked how you did in the arena today, that’s for sure.”

Alec looks at him blankly, and Jace says, “It means you have a benefactor. Someone in the stands who wants to sponsor you. They’ll do things like get you extra rations or medical care if you get hurt, you know, help you bulk up and stay healthy. That ring is a weapon you can take into the arena for hand to hand combat days.”

“I thought we couldn’t bring weapons for those fights,” Alec says.

“Right, you can’t, _unless_ it’s a gift from a sponsor,” Jace says. “Use it wisely, though – the instant someone finds out you have it, everyone’s going to be trying to steal it. So don’t bring it into a sparring match. Just hang onto it until the next time you’re in a tournament.”

Alec nods and tucks it under his pillow. But late that night, after everyone’s gone to bed, he takes it back out, turning it around in his hands and wondering who it came from.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The next day is a lot easier, and Jace says that they probably will be for a while. “You won’t have to fight for a couple weeks, not even in the sparring matches,” he says, as they’re warming up for the day. “They do the weeding to get rid of the losers and the unlucky, and then they actually do give you some time to learn how to fight. You probably won’t be in another tournament for at least a couple months.”

“That’s . . . more of a relief than I’m comfortable admitting,” Alec says, and Raj snorts.

There are six sparring matches set up for the morning. The atmosphere is fairly casual and relaxed. There are some spectators, but the crowds are thin. Alec sees that a lot of the gladiators are standing in clusters, not paying attention. That’s in contrast to his own team, who have gathered by the edge of the ring so they can watch.

Lydia sees him looking around and says, “Some of the gladiators don’t take the matches very seriously. Personally, I think that’s a mistake. Matches are the best time to learn about what strengths and weaknesses your future opponents have, see how they fight, how they move.”

Alec nods. That makes sense to him. The match is currently between two women who are wrestling. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but he tries to pay attention. He gets to see Raj fight someone from Wasp, which is interesting. Raj fights with fierce, unbridled joy. When Alec comments on it during their meal afterwards, he says, “I taught myself to love fighting . . . what else are you gonna do, right? Jace is the same way. It’s one of the reasons we do so well.”

“I don’t love fighting,” Lydia says, “but Raj is right. The people who hate it, who force themselves through it – even knowing their lives are on the line, they just don’t fight the same way. They don’t train as hard or learn as much.”

“But part of it’s who’s teaching you,” Jace mentions, as they head down to the training room. “I mean, if you actually watch some of the rookies, you’ll see what I mean. The veterans don’t _teach_ them. They beat the shit out of them, bully them, and that’s their idea of teaching. You know, like eventually they’ll get sick of being beaten up and magically learn how to fight.”

“That seems pretty stupid, since the team suffers if they lose a member,” Alec says.

“I don’t think they do it on purpose,” Jace says. “They just don’t know any better. We got lucky, you know? Hawk was the number-two team when I joined it. It’s been in the top five as long as Raj has been here. And that’s because of Luke. Because he was a teacher. He cared about his team, and kept caring about them no matter how many people he lost.”

Raj nods a little. “When I got reaped, it was Luke and me and two other rookies. Luke taught all of us. The other two were dead by the end of the year. But when we got two more, Luke cared about them just as much, helped them learn just as much as he had the other two. Luke kept me and Lydia alive for years.”

“I guess he’d been here a while?” Alec ventures.

“Thirteen years by the time he died,” Raj says. “Hey, enough of this sentimental shit. Let’s get to work.”

Alec nods. He’s beginning to realize exactly lucky he had been to get put in Hawk. Not just because they’re good fighters, or even because they’re good teachers. He can’t imagine what it must have been like for the new teams made entirely out of rookies, without anyone to talk them through what was happening. He wonders if that’s why their casualty rates were so much higher. Or maybe it was something else. He’s not sure if the team assignments are random or not. They might have put the weaker members together, taken the stronger ones and put them with the best teams. That’s what Raj had indicated, but Alec isn’t sure. He doesn’t feel like anyone could really tell just by looking at someone how well they would do. It seems more likely to him that he just got lucky.

He spends about an hour practicing punches and kicks, and then they make him hit the weights. It’s not exactly his idea of a good time, but he reminds himself that learning to love how to fight will keep him alive. “Do I have to love weight training?” he asks at the end of the day, when his muscles are sore and trembling.

“Nah, just survive it,” Jace says, grinning.

One good thing has come from the exhausting day – he falls straight to sleep. He hadn’t slept much the night before, despite his weariness, because he kept thinking back to Samuel Nightshade, but the worst of that is fading now. He sleeps soundly.

Paying attention during the matches the next morning, he says, “So some people obviously take watching the fights more seriously than others, but even some of the people fighting don’t really seem to care.”

“Well, that depends on your team’s standing,” Lydia says. “Sparring matches count towards your stats, although only at a fraction of the tournaments. So to the higher ranking teams who are actually vying for privileges, this is a lot more important than it is to the lower ranking teams. They know that even if they win a few sparring matches, it won’t move them enough in the rankings to get them anything.”

“I guess that explains why Valentine actually cares,” Alec says. He had expected the veteran to blow off the fights as beneath him, but he’s watching them just as intently as Alec’s team is.

“Don’t underestimate Valentine,” Raj says. “He’s a bully and an asshole, but he didn’t survive this long by being stupid. He takes every fight seriously, even if it’s against a rookie.”

“Frankly, I hope Viper’s rookie is better than he seems,” Jace says. “I’m totally happy with them in the number two spot, to keep Valentine’s attention off of us. There are more important things than having a mattress. Like living.”

“You could always throw a few sparring matches, Jace,” Lydia says, amused.

Jace thinks about that, then grins and says, “Nah.”

Alec laughs despite himself. He finds himself falling into the routine faster than he would have expected. It’s not that he forgets about home, or doesn’t miss his family. He does. But it’s usually at the back of his mind. He learns about different fighting styles, about how to balance force and precision. He learns the different weapons and picks things up quickly. When he’s not fighting, he’s working out, lifting weights or doing aerobics. At the end of the day, he’s too tired to have trouble sleeping.

He has his first sparring match a few weeks later, against someone from Panther, and handily wipes the floor with them. He finds himself grinning afterwards. When lives aren’t on the line, he _is_ learning to enjoy fighting.

“Tournament day tomorrow,” Raj tells him, the next week. “Don’t worry, they never choose any rookies at the first tournament after weeding day.”

Alec’s stomach twists anyway. “That doesn’t mean none of you will get chosen.”

“Oh, well, yeah,” Jace says, and then grins. “Don’t worry about us, rookie.”

But he _is_ worried, and he tosses and turns that night. The relief the next morning when the guard announces the schedule and nobody from Hawk is called is intense.

Someone from Shark is, and she loses, so Hawk is holding steady at third place in the rankings. They’re winning almost all their sparring matches. Jace and Raj have both talked to him in detail about how to handle the sparring matches, the philosophy of ‘win if you can but a loss is better than an injury’ to help their stats but not take any unnecessary risks.

Another week later, he’s back in the ring against Valentine himself. “Someone’s going to get some bruises today,” Valentine says, smirking at him.

“Hey, go easy on me,” Alec says, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m not a pro like you.”

Valentine’s smile just gets wider. Alec isn’t exactly worried. He knows that Valentine will kill him if he gets the chance, but he’s determined that he’s not going to get it, and Valentine reacts to his words exactly as he had anticipated. He’s watched Valentine more closely than anybody else over the past few weeks, and when he’s fighting someone he knows he’s better than, he always opens the same way. He waits for them to throw the first punch, blocks, and then sweeps their legs out from underneath them. He’s been practicing a counter move with Jace, and it works beautifully. He throws a punch, Valentine blocks, and then Alec jumps, avoiding Valentine’s leg and moving into a kick that catches Valentine underneath the chin. The older man staggers back, and there are whoops of laughter and encouragement from the other gladiators.

“You’re going to pay for that, boy,” Valentine says, thumbing blood off his lip.

“It was worth it,” Alec replies.

Valentine cleans his clock. The fight doesn’t stop until Alec is face down on the ground with his arm twisted up behind his back, tapping out with his other hand. Valentine doesn’t let go until he’s given Alec’s arm one final savage twist that takes his breath away.

“Still worth it,” Alec mumbles, as Jace picks him up off the ground.

“Dumbass,” Jace says, laughing.

“Whatever happened to not risking serious injury?” Lydia asks, although she seems as amused as the others.

“You said I wouldn’t be in any tournaments for the first couple months,” Alec says. “I figured it was safe enough to prove a point.”

“And what point did you prove, exactly?” Lydia asks.

“That just because I don’t like killing doesn’t mean I’m someone he can walk all over.” Alec lets Jace help him into a chair. “I’ve seen how he treats the others – stealing their food, tripping them in the halls. That’s not going to be me.”

“You’re not going to be able to use that arm for a few days, maybe even a week,” Raj says. “Time to learn how to fight with a disadvantage.”

“What fun,” Alec says.

When they get back to the room that night, he finds another bundle on his bed. He frowns and unwraps it to see an earthenware jar. He takes off the top and a pungent scent assaults his nose, astringent and clean. The jar is filled with some sort of ointment.

“Oh wow, is that – ” Lydia leans over and takes a whiff. “You lucky bastard!”

“What is it?” Alec asks.

“Sit down and I’ll show you,” she says, and Alec does as instructed. She takes a thumbful of the ointment and starts rubbing it into his shoulder, where the worst of the pain is. It begins to tingle almost immediately, and as she rubs it in, the deep ache starts to abate, replaced by a beautiful warmth. Alec moans despite himself. “This is the real stuff. Tiger balm, I think they call it.”

“How come he gets the benefactor?” Raj says. “I’ve been here six years. Nobody ever sends me presents. You suck.”

“I’ll share,” Alec says, eyes closed.

“I take it all back, best friend. Please don’t die. You’re so full of kindness and wisdom.”

They hide the jar of tiger balm by folding it up inside one of the blankets in the morning, but it doesn’t matter. The smell is unmistakable, and since Alec had applied it after he showered, it takes the other gladiators approximately five minutes to figure out that he has a benefactor.

“Hand it over,” Valentine says without preamble.

“What, the tiger balm I got from a sponsor who must have really enjoyed me giving you a split lip yesterday?” Alec asks, sipping a cup of water while Jace chortles. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Valentine slaps the cup of water out of his hand. “You think you’re funny, huh? Think that now that you’ve got a benefactor, you’re untouchable?”

“You literally just touched me,” Alec says, “so no.”

“Then shut the fuck up and give me my due.”

Jace leans over and says to Raj, just loud enough for everyone close by to hear, “I guess the great Valentine is really scared of getting a pulled muscle.”

“Cute,” Valentine says. “You guys are real cute. But you’re gonna regret this, so when you change your mind, you let me know.” He walks away without another word.

The others watch him go. “So that happened,” Raj finally says. Alec lets out a snort and Lydia snickers. Then they head over to where the match schedule is being announced.

Ten minutes later, Jace is facing Valentine in the ring. The blonde has gone completely serious, no hint of a smile on his face, as the two of them circle each other. Alec is watching with his hands clenched at his sides so nobody can tell they’re shaking.

He knows that Jace is an amazing fighter – Raj fully admits that Jace is one of the best he’s seen – but he hasn’t really gotten a demonstration of Jace’s real skill until now. During training, Jace takes it easy on him, and he never pushes himself too hard during the sparring matches. This is different. This isn’t feints and jabs and fists. This is war.

Jace gets in a couple good hits to start, but then Valentine gets him in a chokehold that he has trouble getting out of. He finally escapes when he pistons his heel back into Valentine’s knee. It doesn’t connect, but Valentine’s grip loosens when he twists to avoid it, and Jace squirms free. He still has a hold of Valentine’s arm and flips the older man right over his shoulder and onto the ground. Valentine hits hard but grabs Jace by the ankle on his way down. Valentine manages to come out on top, hitting Jace across the face several times while Alec forgets to breathe. Then Jace slams both hands down on Valentine’s ears, and he goes reeling. Seconds later, Jace is on his feet, and he takes Valentine down with a roundhouse kick to the face. Raj lets out a whoop of encouragement so loud that Alec startles.

“Stay down,” Jace tells Valentine, who’s struggling back to his feet.

Instead, Valentine gives a bellow and throws himself out of a crouch into Jace’s legs, taking them both back to the ground. Jace puts his hands out to break his fall, but he lands badly, and everyone hears the snap of breaking bone. “Shit – ” Lydia says, twitching like she wants to move into the ring. “C’mon, Jace, don’t be stupid – ”

Alec glances at her, and then his gaze goes back to the ring as Jace’s hand slaps at the ground in the universal symbol for surrender. Lydia lets out a sigh of relief, but Valentine doesn’t stop. He hits Jace across the face two more times.

“Hey, guard!” Raj shouts. “Break it up! He tapped out!”

The guard looks over and gives a ponderous sigh before wading into the ring, grabbing Valentine by the strap of his tank top and hauling him off Jace and shoving him away. Jace manages to get to his feet, his face bloody and pale underneath his tan.

“Shit,” Raj says under his breath, looking at Jace’s arm. “Yeah, that’s broken for sure.”

“Use your tiger balm!” one of the other Scorpion team members shouts, and there are a few titters in the crowd.

They manage to fashion a splint out of Jace’s tank top and some of the equipment used in training, but they can’t do anything about the pain. “Guess you better practice taking falls,” Raj tells him, as they settle down for lunch.

Jace flips him off and says, “Sit and spin.”

“At least you left a few of Valentine’s teeth in the dirt,” Alec says, hoping that this will console him.

“Not enough of them,” Jace mutters, “and I’m screwed if they put me in the next tournament.”

Fortunately for him, he’s not. Unfortunately for Alec, he is.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I warned about violence, but this chapter is, uh, really violent. Plus it has some discussion of suicide.

 

“You can do this,” Jace says, squeezing Alec by the wrist. “You’re a really good fighter, and you are going to kick ass in that ring.”

“Okay, I believe you, but _how_ ,” Alec says, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’ve seen Sedgewick fight, he’s fucking brutal, he moves like a fucking snake – ”

“Breathe.” Jace shakes him. They have a minute to plan strategy before he’s going to be in the arena. “Yeah, Sedgewick’s fast, that’s bad, but this is hand to hand and your reach is longer, so you have an advantage – ”

“My reach being longer won’t matter when I can’t catch him – ”

“Listen to me,” Jace says. “You have to wait him out. Okay? Sedgewick is fast but he’s not strong. Take some hits. You can handle them. He’s not going to be able to knock you out or down with one punch, so let him have the lead, let him feel like he’s winning so he lets his guard down. You’re taller, right? By almost six inches. Keep his attention focused up, then strike low. You got me?”

Alec starts breathing again and nods. It’s a strategy he can work with, a strategy that sounds like he can win. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, got it.”

He heads into the arena as his name is called. He’s learned a little bit more about it since his first few times there. The crowds typically number in the thousands or even tens of thousands for the more popular tournaments. Weeding day always draws a big crowd, Raj has told him, and then attendance slacks off a bit for a while. As people are killed and the gladiators who survive are by default the strongest, more demons attend the matches.

The arena is large enough that he wasn’t even sure how they could see, but Lydia says that demons generally have better visual acuity than humans, plus some of them can use magic to augment their eyesight. Certainly Alec can’t pick out any individual demons in the crowd. It’s just a teeming mass of faces to him.

“Hope you said goodbye to your team,” Sedgewick says, as he walks around Alec, waiting for the fight to begin.

“Hope Spider doesn’t mind dropping from seventh to eighth,” Alec shoots back. “Or, wait. Weren’t you already in eighth place?”

Sedgewick’s lip curls, and the bell clangs. He darts forward, lands several rapid fire punches across Alec’s crossed arms and abdomen, and then retreats backwards. Alec steps carefully to one side, watching him. Jace is right. This is going to be a fight of endurance. He’ll have to take a lot of hits, but if he can get in even one, the fight will be his.

He lets Sedgewick dance around him, taking a hit here and there. He swings and misses, swings and misses. He has to keep Sedgewick focused on his arms. Jace had been right about that, too. Sedgewick is smaller, and so his gaze is constantly flicking up, almost never down.

The chance comes suddenly, and he takes it without even thinking. They’ve drilled him enough that some of the fighting is automatic now. Sedgewick is fully focused on the barrage of punches he’s raining on Alec’s stomach, and he doesn’t even notice when Alec hooks his foot around Sedgewick’s ankle and pulls. He sprawls backwards; Alec grabs the wrist that was conveniently close to his center of gravity and swings Sedgewick around, throwing him into one of the pillars as hard as he can.

There’s a pained ‘oooh!’ from the crowd, startled at how sudden and brutal the move was, and it quickly dissolves into a raucous cheer. Sedgewick falls to the ground, limp and unmoving. The bell clangs.

“Is he – ” Alec stands there, rooted to the spot, while Spider’s two remaining team members lift Sedgewick off the ground. They don’t look at him and don’t respond. After a few moments, he heads back to his own team. “I don’t even know if I killed him or not.”

“If you didn’t, it wasn’t for lack of trying,” Lydia says dryly.

Alec glances over his shoulder and says nothing. There are two other fights, and then they’re in the cafeteria. The standings have shifted a little, although it hasn’t touched the top three teams. Alec looks up at the numbers. By now he has a solid handle on what they mean. “I did kill him.”

“You threw him face first into a rock pillar as hard as you could,” Raj says. “What did you expect to happen?”

“I’m not surprised, I just . . .” Alec looked at his plate of food. “You said it would get easier, and you were right. And I’m not sure if that’s me, or if I’d feel worse if it hadn’t been, you know . . . Sedgewick.”

Lydia gives a snort. “Both can be true, you know. After my first fight – ”

“If this is the part where we all talk about the first time we killed someone, I’m gonna pass,” Raj says. “That’s a memory I prefer to leave buried.”

“Sedgewick wasn’t Alec’s first, anyway,” Lydia says.

“Thanks for reminding me,” Alec says. “I just hope I won’t have to do it again for a while.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The next tournament is a team fight, Hyena versus Wasp, a fight which is four on three. Alec watches them huddle with a detached sense of curiosity. During the individual matches, everyone is basically shoved into the ring, but apparently teams are given a few minutes to strategize before the fight begins.

“Team fights are totally different from individual matches,” Raj says, when Alec mentions it. “The strategy is something else. I mean, when you were fighting Sedgewick, thirty seconds was enough to say take some hits, keep him distracted, and then go low. Right?”

“Right,” Alec says.

“Let’s say that the four of us were fighting Scorpion, God fucking forbid. We’d want to put Jace up against Valentine, right? Because he’s the only one who’d have a chance of surviving. Then we’d match down according to skill set – I’d put Lydia against Blackwell, personally, and me against Starkweather and you against Pangborn.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” Alec says.

“But what you have to remember is that Scorpion is strategizing, too, and they’re gonna want to do something entirely different. They don’t want Valentine fighting Jace. They want Valentine fighting you, get you out of the way nice and fast so then it’s four on three. He’d throw Starkweather up against Jace, figuring that Hodge could survive against him long enough for Valentine to take care of you and then they could double team him.”

Alec grimaces. “So then what?”

“So then we have to plan a counter plan, and Scorpion plans a counter-counter plan, and it all gets fucking ridiculous. But the basic thing everyone agrees on is whoever loses a man first is going to lose the fight.”

“What would your counter strategy be?” Lydia asks curiously.

“Oh, I’d totally send Alec up against Valentine,” Raj says.

Alec laughs despite himself. “Thanks. I think.”

“I mean it as a compliment. I’d send you up against Valentine for the same reason he’d send Hodge up against Jace. Because you could survive. Not indefinitely – Valentine would kick your ass if he was given five minutes with you – but long enough for one of the rest of us to win our fight and then join forces with you.”

“Oh.” Alec is surprised despite himself. “Then thanks, really.”

“Since Valentine would go for you anyway, no point in trying to redirect him. Easier to let him have a go at you until I can fuck Pangborn up. That would only take me a minute.”

Jace shakes his head, but he’s laughing, too. “I don’t know how he survived last year.”

“I think Valentine was pretty pissed that he didn’t lose that last fight against Shark,” Lydia agreed. “They might’ve gotten lucky with a rookie.”

Alec watches Hyena and Wasp head into the arena. “So Hyena will probably win, right? Because they have four members and Wasp only has three.”

“Under most circumstances I’d agree with you, but nah, I’d put my money on Wasp. If I had any.” Raj shrugs. “Wasp has Herondale, who could win a four on one fight if he had to. We’re all lucky that everyone’s so obsessed with the Wasp/Rat rivalry. If we ever ended up fighting either of them, we might get our asses kicked.”

“But they’re in fifth and sixth place,” Alec says.

“Yeah, because they’re always losing and gaining points fighting each other. They just kick back and forth and never get higher in the standings because of each other.” Raj tilts his chin towards the arena as the bell clangs and Herondale charges into the fight. “See?”

Alec nods, watching. Raj turns out to be right; Wasp loses one person but kills three out of four of Hyena’s members. “You’re almost scary good predicting these fights.”

Raj just shrugs. “Been here long enough to know the drill, that’s all.”

“Too bad you can’t predict who we’re going to have to fight next,” Alec says.

“He can even do that, a little,” Jace says, glancing over. “I mean, not necessarily one on one, but just which teams they’re pitting up against each other. Like Rat and Wasp. We kept getting thrown against Crocodile last year, until Viper wiped them out. Then they pitted us against Scorpion instead. Since Shark’s dropping pretty steadily, it’ll be us against Viper for a while, and whoever wins will face down Scorpion at the end of the year.”

Lydia is nodding, but Raj shakes his head. “No, they’re going to avoid pitting us against Viper. I’m not sure who would win – us, hopefully – but whoever did would lose too many people to even hope to match Scorpion afterwards. They’ll use lower ranking teams to take either us or Viper down a few pegs, and then pit Scorpion against whoever comes out on top.”

“You think?” Jace asks.

“Yeah. They might put Crocodile against Viper again – they’re all rookies, but two of them are _good_ , and it would be a good story for them, like the revenge of Crocodile from beyond the grave. The demons eat that shit up.”

“And what about us?” Lydia asks, partly amused, but also clearly taking him seriously. “It won’t be Shark, they’ve lost too many people.”

“Not sure,” Raj says, and when the others look at him, he says, “What? I can’t predict _everything_.”

“Well, get out your crystal ball, man,” Jace says, jabbing him in the arm. “We want to know what’s going to happen next.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

What happens next is, in a strange way, exactly what Raj predicted. A month later, all four members of Hawk are up in a tournament – but against individual members from separate teams. There was no one team who could stand against them, so individual fights made for better drama. Each one of them got a separate weapon, too. Raj was put up against the surviving member of Hyena, hand to hand. Jace got the bo staff and was set up against someone from Shark. Lydia got knives, against a woman from Panther. Alec was matched up against Selene Hightower, from Wolf. She was the only surviving member of her team. Three of them had been rookies, two of which had died on weeding day. She was older than him, even older than Raj, and she kept to herself and looked tired a lot of the time.

Jace wins his fight handily within a few minutes. Alec doesn’t like the staff fighting himself, but Jace is just as good at it as he is with everything else. Lydia’s fight is long and difficult, as knife fights usually are, and she takes several injuries before she manages to prevail. Her opponent is still living as she’s carried off the field, though without medical care she probably won’t make it. Raj wins his fight in one blow, and he looks like he has a sour taste in his mouth. The gladiator he was up against was still injured from the team fight against Wasp, and Raj has said multiple times that he doesn’t like fighting people who are injured.

Alec pays attention, as he always does, but he keeps getting distracted about his own upcoming fight. He’s good with the sword, and he has the advantage over Selene, being taller and with a longer reach. But he finds himself wishing it was hand to hand. He doesn’t want to kill Selene. He doesn’t even want to fight her. She seems like a good person, one who’s been kicked around a lot. She never participates in the bullying, never tries to hurt anyone in a sparring match after they’ve tapped out.

Five minutes later, he’s facing her on the field. She lifts her sword and salutes him, her face blank of expression. Alec returns the gesture.

He could always try to fight without the sword, so he could get a chance to choke her out or knock her unconscious, but it’s too dangerous. He can’t risk it, can’t risk being killed and leaving the others at a disadvantage for their eventual fight against Scorpion. There’s only one thing he can do. He remembers what Jace had said to him that first night: fight for your team, fight for yourself.

So he does. He fights hard, because Hightower is strong and fast and she doesn’t hold back. They go back and forth for what feels like a small eternity, until the only sound in his ears is his own thundering heart. He doesn’t even hear the noise of the crowd anymore. He doesn’t notice when they go wild as Hightower’s sword nicks a small gash in his arm. His world narrows to the point where she and her blade are the only thing that exist.

She’s more experienced than he is, and fends off his attacks over and over again. But eventually his strength wins out. His sword meets hers and they’re locked in position for a long minute, both of them struggling for the advantage, and he forces her back. Her foot comes down on a piece of debris, her ankle twists, and she goes sprawling. Her sword goes flying out of her hand to clatter to the ground several feet away.

She hits the ground hard, and for a desperate moment, Alec hopes that will be it. Hopes that she’ll hit her head and be knocked unconscious. Hopes that the bell will ring and that the match will be over. But it doesn’t happen. She looks up at him from the ground, and he again sees that profound weariness in her. “Quickly, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Alec looks around as if for help, thinking about dropping his sword and knocking her out or just walking away. She sees the look on his face and adds, “It’s all right, Alec. I’d like to be done now. Please.”

After a moment, Alec nods. He opens his mouth to say something and nearly chokes on the words. He doesn’t know what he would say, anyway. There’s nothing that would matter. So he speaks with his sword, a quick downward thrust into her heart, a blow that he can only hope kills her immediately. He drops the sword and walks away as the blood starts to pool around her.

“Nasty cut on your arm, huh?” Jace says, as Alec comes over.

“Who cares,” Alec says, his voice dull and flat.

“I do. Better clean it up.”

“Sure.” Alec pushes his hair out of his face with his good hand. He won’t look at them, can’t look at them. “Whatever.”

They sit down in the cafeteria. Jace carefully cleans his arm with a cup of water, and takes off his tank top to tie it around the wound. He puts pressure on it until it stops bleeding. Lydia and Raj bring them each a tray of food. Alec pushes it away, but Raj pushes it back. “She’d been here a long time, you know,” he says. “Last year, there were these rumors that one of her team members was her lover, and he got killed. I don’t think she ever really recovered from that. Losing three rookies couldn’t have helped.”

“That doesn’t make any of this better!” Alec shouts, shoving his tray of food off the table.

Jace and Lydia are both startled, but Raj just looks up at him with a hint of sorrow. “She was ready. You probably will be too, someday. No one can live like this forever, Alec. It doesn’t matter how strong you are.” He gets up and leaves the room, leaving his tray of food behind.

Alec presses both hands against his face. “I didn’t want to kill her.”

“I know,” Jace says. “She knew, too. I think that’s why she was okay with you being the one to do it.” He squeezes Alec’s shoulders. “Come on. Eat something, okay? You lost some blood. You need to eat.”

“Yeah,” Alec says, and he begins to shovel food into his mouth, wondering why any of it matters.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec’s arm is still tender the next day, but he ignores it. It’s the day after that, when he can barely tolerate the feeling of the water in the shower on it, that he really looks at it. The skin around the wound is reddened and puffy, and it feels hot to the touch. “Shit,” he mutters. He waits until they’re back in their room for the night before showing it to the others.

“Yeah, that’s infected,” Lydia says, her mouth tightening.

“I don’t suppose tiger balm helps infections?” Jace says hopefully, and Lydia shakes her head. “So what do we do?”

“There’s nothing we _can_ do,” she says. “Just keep it clean and hope Alec’s body can fight the infection off. Let’s tear a strip of blanket off instead of wrapping it in our dirty clothes, though.”

“Like the blankets are cleaner,” Raj says, rolling his eyes.

Alec does as Lydia says, but he wakes up the next morning feeling weak and feverish. His whole body is starting to ache now. He has to fight a sparring match against Herondale, from Wasp, who kicks his ass but then seems a little concerned about how easy it was. Alec waves this off, saying he’s just still recovering from his fight with Selene. But he’s in trouble and he knows it.

He can barely get out of bed the next day. He’s alternately burning hot or freezing cold. His lips are dry and chapped, and the others keep forcing water on him. He has absolutely no appetite for food. The aches of the day before are worse, and he has to lean heavily on Jace and Raj as they help him down the hall.

He does his best not to show how terrible he feels as he watches the morning matches, but it’s getting harder with every passing minute. His arm feels like it’s on fire. He can feel the eyes of his team on him, but they don’t say anything, can’t say anything in front of the others. The instant they sense weakness, they’ll be on him, and whoever decides the matches might think it would be fun to throw him into the arena sick and weak.

He makes it through the first hour of training before his knees buckle. Jace and Raj grab him and help him sit down. “Weight training,” Jace says loudly, to give Alec an excuse to stay off his feet. He picks up one of the weights and thinks about passing out. He’s sweating so hard that he feels like there are rivers running down his face. He’s never going to make it and he knows it. This isn’t some small infection. It’s going to kill him without even needing the help of another gladiator.

“Excuse me,” a soft voice says, and all of them look up to see the last person they would have expected. Prince Bane is standing in front of them, dressed in bright blue pants and a black jacket. This close, he’s mouth-wateringly attractive, so much so that Alec notices even in his present state. “You don’t look well.”

“I’m fine,” Alec says automatically, struggling to his feet.

Bane looks him up and down. His face is strangely blank of expression. Then he turns to the guard. “Take him to my chambers.”

Alec freezes and automatically looks at the other Hawks. He knows he must look terrified, thinking of the way Bane takes people away and they don’t come back. Dying in the arena would be bad enough, but this –

“Don’t you touch him,” Jace says, pushing between Alec and the guard who’s coming to take his arm.

“Get out of my way, slave,” the guard says, knocking Jace aside.

“We’re not going to let you take him,” Lydia says, and she’s pale but unflinching. Raj is standing up now as well. “We all know that people Bane takes don’t come back. Alec is still able to fight, so Bane has no right to him.”

“Bane is the warlock prince,” the guard says. “He takes whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.”

“He’s not taking our team member,” Jace says.

“I said to get out of my way,” the guard snarls, lifting a hand.

Bane grabs him by the wrist before he can strike. He gives the team a pensive look, his expression one more of concern than anything else. Then he nods and says, “As you wish.” That being said, he turns and walks away. The guard gapes after him, and then gives Jace a smack across the head just to reassert his authority before he too walks off.

“I’m confused,” Alec mumbled. “I don’t feel good.”

“You’re going to be fine, Alec,” Jace says, although the worry is clear in his voice. “Just make it a few more hours, okay?”

Alec nods and tries to focus. His head aches and he’s starting to shiver. Even worse, the incident with Bane has drawn everyone’s attention, so now they’re all aware of his condition. He gets shoved around during dinner, and the entire team loses their food to Viper.

He can barely support himself in the shower, and the water feels like needles against his skin. When he gets back to the room, he’s shivering uncontrollably. They’re so eager to wrap him up in the blankets that it takes them a moment to notice the bundle on Alec’s bed. Lydia grabs it as Raj and Jace get Alec sitting down on one of the other cots, and unwraps it.

Inside is a ceramic bottle and a glass jar. Lydia uncorks the bottle and sniffs. “Smells like medicine. Still warm, too.” She sits down next to Alec and helps him drink it.

“Uggggh,” Alec says. “Nasty.”

“The worse it tastes, the better it is for you,” Jace says. Lydia is opening the other jar to reveal another ointment, different from the tiger balm. She carefully takes the bandage off Alec’s arm, wincing as she sees the reddened wound underneath, and applies some of the ointment to it. He falls backwards onto the cot, eyes half-lidded. Raj lifts his feet up and gets him situated better, and the others all toss their blankets over him.

“You’ll be cold,” he murmurs.

“We’ll be colder if we’re dead,” Jace says. “Get some sleep, okay?”

Alec nods and passes out almost immediately. When he wakes up the next morning, he feels a lot better, amazingly better. He’s still weak and a little wobbly, but he doesn’t hurt everywhere and it’s not a struggle to focus. The wound is less inflamed, though still quite tender. They apply more of the ointment to it and wrap it up.

“Damn, I thought you were a goner for sure,” Raj says. “Good thing you’ve got a benefactor.”

“Yeah, if only his benefactor wasn’t Magnus Bane,” Lydia says, shuddering.

“You think?” Jace asks. “We don’t know that it’s him. He might have just mentioned Alec being sick to whoever it is.”

“I don’t get what happened yesterday,” Alec says, frowning slightly. “I mean, I don’t understand why Bane backed down.”

“Probably figured it was win-win from his standpoint,” Raj says. “Either he got to take you up to his room and play with you, or he can send you medicine and then gets to keep watching you fight. I think Lydia’s right, Bane is totally his benefactor.”

“I’ll take it over dying, I guess,” Alec says, but he thinks of that look on Magnus Bane’s face, that gentle concern, and for a minute he wonders if there’s something to him that they’re not seeing.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter has prostitutes/concubines and discussions of consent and lack thereof, along with, you know, more violence and such.
> 
> Also, nothing goes as Magnus planned and he's very sorry.

 

With Hawk’s success in their individual tournaments, they’re only a fraction of a point away from second place. Nobody is surprised when the next tournament announced is Viper, a team match against Crocodile. “You were right after all,” Lydia says to Raj, as they lean against the arena’s walls to watch the fight.

Both teams still have four members, which Alec has gathered is very surprising by this time of year. The only other teams yet to lose a member are his own and of course Scorpion. It’s even more surprising because Crocodile was composed entirely of rookies. They had all survived weeding day and despite starting at ninth in the rankings, had clawed their way up to fifth, ahead of both Rat and Wasp. Most of this, according to Raj, was because of one member, somebody named Jonathan Monteverde, who was not only ruthless in the ring but a born leader. He had gotten his team organized and whipped into shape in a way that rookie teams almost never wound up.

“Viper’s good, though,” Raj says, as the bell clangs. “This is going to be brutal.”

For team fights, everyone is allowed to choose their weapon. Most of them have chosen the swords, although two of them use the staff instead. It can’t inflict damage the same way, but it has a longer reach.

Alec doesn’t want to watch. He keeps getting distracted, thinking about Magnus Bane. It’s quite annoying, really. There is absolutely no reason he keeps thinking about him, about his quiet voice and beautiful eyes and the way Magnus’ hand had briefly touched his arm.

It’s not that he’s been unaware that he’s attracted to men. He’s just never acted on it, knowing that most men wouldn’t be interested anyway. He has to admit that he’s had some vivid dreams about Jace and Raj which would be extremely embarrassing if anyone found out about them. But for the past few weeks, it’s Magnus that he’s been dreaming about.

There’s a huge roar from the crowd and his gaze snaps up to see one of the Vipers fall to the ground, blood gushing from a wound in his neck.

“That’s it,” Raj says, as the Crocodile who killed him immediately jumps back into the fight to help his teammate against Viper’s best fighter.

Ten minutes later, it’s over. Three Vipers are dead and one is on the ground unconscious. Crocodile lost one man as well, but it doesn’t seem to have dampened their enthusiasm. All of them have their fists in the air, responding to the audience cheering.

“God, I’m tired,” Lydia says, turning away. “Come on, let’s go in.”

Alec agrees, and all of them seem ready to eat in silence, but everyone wants to talk to them because they’re now in second place. Since Valentine is as unpopular with everyone as he is popular with himself, they’re all excited about the possibility of Hawk kicking his ass.

“You can stop congratulating us,” Jace says, waving off a few people. “We didn’t even do anything.”

“Well, that’s not actually true,” someone from Panther comments. “You didn’t do anything _today_ , but you kicked ass in your last matches, so . . .”

“Yippee for us,” Raj deadpans, and Lydia snorts into her water.

“Hey, don’t forget, if you wind up in first place, you get all the bonuses!”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Which one of us has actually _been_ on a team in first place, Whitelaw? We have. You don’t need to remind us. I think I was happier before they painted a target on our back and said ‘good eats for Scorpion here’.”

Gradually, the crowd goes back to their meals. Alec studies the scoreboard. “It won’t be enough for us to keep winning,” he says. “Unless Scorpion suffers a loss, they’ll maintain their lead.”

“Mm hm,” Raj says.

Alec thinks that over. “One of us is going to end up against someone from Scorpion in the next tournament, aren’t we.”

“Not yet,” Raj says. “Too soon. Gotta build up the tension. Give it a month.”

“What about Crocodile?” Lydia asks curiously. “I mean, what do you think is going to happen to them next?”

“Worried?” Raj asks, smirking at her.

Lydia gives him an icy glare. “Exactly where is that idea coming from?”

“I’ve seen the way you watch Monteverde during his sparring matches. You think he’s hot, admit it.”

“I think that I _don’t_ want to end up in the ring against him, for a variety of reasons,” Lydia says, then shrugs and adds, “But yes, he is _devastatingly_ attractive. Those dimples, just, ugh. I want to climb him like a tree.”

“Hear, hear,” Alec mumbles underneath his breath. Jace hears him and gives a quiet snort.

Amused, Raj says, “Don’t get too attached. They want the drama, and Wasp has pretty much kicked Rat’s ass into the ground enough times by now, so my guess is that Crocodile will be fighting Wasp in the final tournament as the underticket. So don’t get too attached to Monteverde’s pretty face, because in a fight against Herondale, he won’t win.”

“Which is why they won’t have him fight Herondale,” Alec says. Raj raises his eyebrows. “Look, I haven’t been here as long as you, but I’m starting to get what they do and why they do it. If they want to preserve the drama, there are some major players that have to survive every year. They might pit individual Wasps against individual Crocs, but they won’t put Herondale directly against Monteverde because they want them both around next year. It’s the same reason why they wouldn’t put us against Scorpion in a team fight. We’d both lose too many people.”

Jace is nodding. “So they’ll match us up against Scorpion to kill off a couple people from each team but leave a few to continue the rivalry next year.”

“God, this is depressing,” Lydia says. “I think Monteverde _would_ be better company than you guys.”

Raj looks thoughtful, however. “That would be some damned good drama, though. Alec’s right about that.”

“Glad I’m getting the hang of this,” Alec says.

Jace shrugs. “Take what you can get.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It surprises everyone when Viper’s lone member actually survives and seems to recover from his injuries. He’s back about a week later, pale and haggard and silent. A few people try to draw him into conversation, but he just looks at them like they’re from a different world. When he’s assigned to sparring matches, he refuses to fight.

Lydia had mentioned, after Alec’s fight with Selene Hightower, that the people who were the last surviving member of their team often banded together and trained with each other. Trueblood, the last member of Viper, is one of three such people. Panther and Shark are both down to one member as well. But he rebuffs their attempts to be friendly with him. During training, he sits by himself, without touching any of the tools or weapons.

So nobody really notices when he casually walks over to a rack of knives and starts examining them. He looks over each one, weighing it in his hands. Alec notices what he’s doing and nudges Jace, who looks over with a faint frown. Trueblood turns away from the rack of weapons, spinning the knife around in one hand.

Alec still doesn’t get what’s happening, but Jace sees it coming. His eyes go wide and he suddenly shouts, “Monteverde, on your six!”

Monteverde turns around just before Trueblood can plunge the knife into his back. He grabs him by the wrist, twisting him around and flipping him so he lands flat on his back. The other two Crocodiles rush over to help, pinning Trueblood to the ground. He goes limp almost immediately.

“All right, let him up,” Raj says, shoving his way over. “He’s lost his chance and he knows it.”

The others back off. Trueblood sits up, looks up at them, and offers the knife to Monteverde. “Kill me. You’ve earned it.”

Monteverde bats the knife away. “How stupid do you think I am? Attacking someone outside a match is forbidden.”

Trueblood shrugs. “Worth a try,” he says, before flipping the knife in his hand and driving it deep into his own chest. Alec swears, startled by the suddenness of it even if the action itself isn’t that surprising.

“Guard!” Monteverde shouts, as Trueblood slumps to the ground. “Come get him out of here.” The guard finally bothers to wander over and see what’s going on, lifting up Trueblood’s body and slinging it over his shoulder. They all watch him leave. Monteverde shakes his head and then turns to Jace. “Thanks. I won’t forget it.”

“Glad to hear it,” Jace says, and Hawk withdraws to their own corner.

“Why’d you warn him?” Lydia asks curiously. “Wouldn’t you have done the same, in Trueblood’s shoes?”

“Yeah, probably,” Jace says, and shrugs. “But it wasn’t Monteverde’s fault. He just fought to survive, like the rest of us. What good would killing him do?”

“At least you’ve made us a friend,” Alec says.

Raj nods. “If we manage to beat Scorpion, next year they’ll set us up against Crocodile. Gonna be interesting to see how that plays out, if Monteverde’s actually honorable enough to feel like he owes you a debt.”

“Next year can wait,” Lydia says. “Let’s worry about surviving this year.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The weirdest thing about being a gladiator is how it’s simultaneously terrifying and boring. Alec still has trouble sleeping the night before tournament day, but on every other day, he finds himself getting bored. He wonders if that’s why a lot of the gladiators don’t pay attention to the sparring matches. It’s just not that interesting after a while.

It’s routine, routine, and more routine. Get up, get dressed. Stand around for a while, fight for ten or fifteen minutes. Eat. Then train, and train, and keep training. He knows it’s important, never slacks off, but after a while his mind wanders. He just can’t help it. Then another meal, a shower, and they go back to their rooms. Sometimes they’ll talk for a while, but more often they just fall asleep.

It’s hard to believe that he’s been there for over half a year. The days are starting to run together. He thinks about things Raj and Lydia have said about what it’s like to be there for a long time. He wonders if Valentine started bullying people just to keep himself occupied, wonders if Luke devoted himself to protecting and training rookies out of sheer boredom.

Despite the fact that he’s survived this long, he knows that the second half of the year will be harder. There are no more rookies, not anymore. Everyone here is a good fighter, and nobody hesitates when they get into the ring. As they get closer to the big finale, they’ll be thrown up against more and more dangerous opponents. With Viper gone, there’s nobody between them and Scorpion anymore.

That’s why it doesn’t surprise anybody a few weeks later when the tournament match is between Jace and Blackwell.

There’s no need for strategizing, not with Jace. He’s fought Blackwell in sparring matches numerous times, and he knows what he’s doing. Raj squeezes his shoulder; Lydia and Alec each give him a quick embrace, and he jogs towards the arena.

Alec is chewing on his lower lip, trying not to feel anxious, when Valentine saunters up beside them. “Hope you said goodbye to your boyfriend, there.”

Alec resists the urge to hiss and spit and say something nasty. Instead it’s Raj who speaks entire volumes with a roll of his eyes. “Yeah, Blackwell. I’m sure Jace is shaking in his shoes.”

Valentine just smirks. “He better hope he loses, because if he kills my man, I’m going to make him wish he had never been born.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Jace would rather be dead than put up with your bullshit,” Lydia says, and shakes her head as they head for the ring.

Despite Raj’s casual dismissal, Blackwell isn’t exactly a slouch. Alec isn’t exactly worried, but he knows that it’s not going to be quick or easy. Jace is grinning, though, walking around the arena with his hands up, accepting the cheers of the audience. Alec wonders when the demons find out who’s going to be in the match. It can’t all be decided ahead of time, since each match depends on the last, but he suspects that they must know at least a few days beforehand. The more popular gladiators always have a better turnout.

It’s a bladed fight, and Jace is good with a sword, but it goes on for a long time. Alec forgets about the crowd, forgets about Valentine, forgets about everything except watching Jace in the arena. He’s still continuously amazed by how good a fighter Jace is. After a year and a half of training, he can practically match Valentine, who’s been there for decades.

There’s a huge roar in the crowd when Blackwell knocks him to the ground, and Alec goes tense, although Raj and Lydia don’t. Blackwell brings his sword down, but Jace rolls to the side and comes out of a crouch to thrust his blade deep into Blackwell’s side. The crowd roars again as Blackwell sags to the ground.

Jace might be cocky in sparring matches, but in a tournament he’s all business. He doesn’t wait to see if Blackwell is going to get back up. Another quick flash of his blade cuts deep into the man’s throat, and he collapses backwards.

In the cafeteria afterwards, everyone is congratulating him. There’s more camaraderie between the teams now. It’s late enough in the year that they know which teams are being pitted against each other. It’s safe, at least for the rest of the year, for the remaining Panther and Shark to be friendly with Hawk or Wasp.

There’s loud jeering when Valentine walks in, with Starkweather and Pangborn behind him. He quells it with a look. They might not be in danger of having to face him in the ring, but he can still kill them during sparring matches, and they all know it.

Not that this stops Hawk from gloating, since Valentine hates them anyway. “Leave something under your pillow for me, Valentine!” Raj shouts, and the others all snicker. Alec glances up at the scoreboard and sees that they have, indeed, been moved to the number one spot.

“When do we change rooms?” he asks.

“Tonight, after training. We’ll have to be quick to grab our stuff, or Scorpion will camp in our rooms and say it’s theirs.” Jace downs his cup of water. “Not that there’s much there worth saving, besides that tiger balm.”

They train somewhat half-heartedly. Raj works Alec and Lydia pretty hard, but Jace is basking in victory and really doesn’t seem worried about it. Scorpion keeps to themselves, which surprises Alec. He had expected the bullying to start right away. The fact that it hasn’t makes him think that Valentine is actually a little worried. That, or he’s plotting.

“I guess you’re gonna end up fighting Valentine next, huh,” he says to Jace.

“Yeah,” Jace says, and shrugs. “No point in worrying about it.”

Raj says that if they want to get their things, they’ll have to skip dinner. He sends Lydia to get some food for them, and the rest of them go to their rooms to grab their belongings. They’ve barely finished when Valentine shows up. Raj makes a rude gesture in their direction, and Valentine’s face darkens. It looks like it might turn into a brawl until Lydia shows up, and she’s somehow gotten Monteverde and Herondale to come with her.

Monteverde’s new, but Herondale has been there longer than Raj. “You weren’t thinking of breaking any rules, I hope,” he says to Valentine. “Last time I checked, the top team got the best room, regardless of whatever poor losers the second team is.”

Valentine lifts his hands in surrender and tries to laugh it off. “Just thought I’d see if they needed any help moving.”

“Sure you did,” Jace says. They head to their new rooms with the other two men behind them.

“Thanks, Jonathan,” Lydia says, as they reach the door. He smiles at her, and then they turn to head to their own rooms.

“You two are on a first name basis now, huh?” Jace teases. Lydia gives him an unimpressed look.

Alec is marveling at the room, which he thinks is kind of pathetic, because it’s not _that_ impressive. It’s only about half again as large as their last one, although there are two openings leading to other rooms. One has a solid wooden door, the other just a fabric curtain. There are two cots in this room, so he assumes that one of them has the other two. They have thin mattresses and pillows on them. There’s also a bookshelf with about a dozen books on it. They’re dusty; it seems that Scorpion wasn’t much for reading.

“Bathroom through there,” Raj says, pointing to the wooden door. Alec opens it and looks in to see that they even have a private shower, in addition to the sink and toilet. There’s a razor, a comb, and a bar of soap.

“Dibs,” Lydia says, shoving past them. Raj laughs and grabs at her, but lets her go.

“My favorite feature’s over here,” Jace says, hopping up on one of the cots so he can look through the window. “Look. Sunset.”

Alec jumps up to stand next to him. The sky is crimson towards the horizon, and it’s strange but beautiful. Streaks of pink and orange fade up into the usual grayish-blue.

When Lydia gets out of the shower, they let Alec go. He cleans himself up and washes his hair and even shaves. It feels good to be clean-shaven again. He’s never particularly liked having a beard. Jace takes his turn next, and he shaves as well. Raj only trims his beard.

Sleeping on the mattress feels odd. After over six months on the narrow cot, an actual bed is weird for him. But he’s tired, and after a little tossing and turning, he falls asleep.

The sparring matches the next morning are interesting. He’s put up against Pangborn, who’s beaten him twice before, but gets in a lucky hit with the staff that sends him flying, and he’s unable to get back up before Alec swings around and pins him with a foot on his elbow and the staff in his throat. There’s a lot of whooping and cheering. It’s the first fight he’s won against any member of Scorpion.

Raj and Jace don’t fight, but Lydia gets put up against Monteverde in a hand to hand match that looks a _lot_ like foreplay to Alec. They’re both enjoying themselves way more than anyone feels is appropriate, to the point where a guard bellows at them that if one of them doesn’t win soon, he’ll knock them both on their asses. Jonathan rolls them over and gets Lydia’s arm up behind her back, and she taps out.

“Oh my God, will you two please just fuck already,” Raj says, and Lydia just smirks and says he’s jealous. “I don’t need to be jealous. I’m gettin’ mine tonight.”

Jace rolls his eyes. Alec has to admit to some curiosity about how this works. To his surprise, as they head in to dinner, Raj just goes up to a guard and says, “Hey, have them send someone up for me tonight.” It’s that easy. When they get back to their rooms, Raj says, “Don’t wait up for me,” and goes through the curtain.

“He knows that one of us sleeps in there too, right?” Alec asks, as he hears a thump and then a woman giggling.

“Not tonight we don’t,” Lydia says with a snort. “I’m going to shower.”

Alec’s torn on this issue. On the one hand, he’s not sure he wants to have sex with someone who doesn’t have any choice in the matter – although he supposes that most of the concubines would prefer a human gladiator over whatever the demons do to them. On the other hand, he’s been spending a lot of time around a lot of really hot guys who have no interest in having sex with him, and it’s getting to him. There’s also at least a fifty percent chance he’s going to die in the next few months, and he really doesn’t want to die a virgin.

After the first few days, he buckles down and asks Lydia, since she might actually know. “Are there, uh. Male concubines?”

“Mm hm,” she says, without a hint of judgment. “A few years ago, before Jace, we had a woman on our team while we were in first for almost six months. She used them pretty regularly.”

“Okay. Uh. Thanks.” Alec pretends he isn’t bright pink and goes back to his training. He’s still not feeling sure about it, but it seems so easy for Raj, so how difficult can it really be? Though it occurs to him that he needs to _tell_ Raj, because there’s only the one room and Raj has been using it every night. He waits until they’re in training that afternoon before he approaches Raj, praying that he won’t make a big deal out of it. “Hey, uh, can I ask you something?”

“You want the room tonight?” Raj asks, with a slight smile. “Was waiting for you to ask. Yeah, sure, have at. I could use a break anyway.”

“Thanks,” Alec mumbles, and flees the conversation. With two thirds of the embarrassing conversations over, he heads into the one he’s least interested in having. He manages to find a guard in a more quiet corner where he doesn’t think anyone will overhear and says, “I, um. Need someone. Sent to my room.”

The demon rolls his eyes. “You want a concubine?”

“Yes, but.” Alec knows he’s bright pink. “A male one. And uh, can you, maybe, see if it’s someone who doesn’t mind having sex with another man? I don’t really, uh, not sure if I could – ”

“Stop talking,” the guard tells him, and walks away, muttering, “Fucking virgins.”

That being said, Alec is torn between being mortified and being horny for the rest of the evening. He’s glad of their private shower now, that he won’t have to walk in completely naked. His hands are trembling a little as he pushes aside the curtain and walks into the small room. Then he nearly passes out, because instead of a concubine, the room is occupied by Magnus Bane.

He’s wearing a red silk shirt and black pants, and his hair is streaked with red and pushed back out of his face. His shirt is unbuttoned, and he’s wearing several necklaces that have Alec’s attention drawn unerringly to the bare skin that they decorate. He’s got a bottle of an amber-colored liquid with him, and two glasses.

Alec just stands there and stares for a long moment before he manages to stammer, “W-What are you doing here?”

Magnus turns around, and he’s so unbelievably gorgeous at close range that Alec feels himself getting hard even though he still has no idea what’s going on. “Apparently you requested a male concubine who wouldn’t have a problem having sex with other males? The guard came to ask me if I knew of one. I told him I would take care of it.”

“Okay, but. What are _you_ doing here?”

Magnus smiles at him, and Alec tries to ignore the way his pulse quickens in his throat. “You seemed concerned about the, shall we say, consent of your partner? I thought the best way to ease your mind on the matter would be to come myself, so no question of coercion could be brought. Drink?”

Alec stands there with his jaw ajar for a moment, watching Magnus pour the drinks and hold one out to him. Several emotions battle for control before one wins, and he snaps, “You _condescending piece of shit_. Get out!”

This startles Magnus; he actually pulls his hand back. “I wasn’t – ”

“You don’t own me, okay? I’m well-fucking-aware that you like the way I look and you enjoy watching me fight. But you can’t just walk down in here and expect that I’ll have sex with you just because I’m horny and probably going to die soon and oh, you’re so much better than a concubine because you’re not forced to be here. Did you think for _one second_ how I would feel about that? Because I might remind you that you’re not being forced to be here, but _I am_.”

“I didn’t mean – ”

“I don’t give a shit what you meant! I don’t need your fucking pity. And I don’t need your help!”

At this, Magnus rallies. “You’d be dead if it weren’t for me and we both know it.”

“That doesn’t fucking matter! I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and your kind. You can’t take away my freedom, force me to kill for your entertainment, and then think that _I’m_ in _your_ debt because you gave me some medicine when I got sick. I don’t fucking owe you anything! I’d rather die a virgin tomorrow than fuck you tonight. Now get the fuck out!”

A series of expressions flicker over Magnus’ face before it goes blank. He murmurs, “Very well,” before pushing the curtain aside and walking away. Alec waits until he hears the door close before he slumps down onto one of the beds.

He hears footsteps in the other room, and Lydia hisses, “Raj!” before the curtain parts again and Raj pokes his head through and asks, “Did he leave the booze?”

“Raj!” Alec snaps, but then he starts laughing. He can’t help it. It’s all so ridiculous and he’s going to die a virgin and Magnus Bane is the worst person he’s ever met. “Yeah, he did. Enjoy.”

Jace and Lydia crowd into the room as well, and they all sit down, passing the bottle between them. “Here, have a drink,” Jace says, handing it to him.

Alec sighs and takes a swig. “I’ll probably wind up in a sparring match against Valentine tomorrow after that.”

“Probably, but we won’t let him kill you,” Jace says.

“Thanks, Jace.”

They drink in silence for a minute. Alec lets his head thump back against the wall. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

They give him a cautious look. Lydia says, “If you still wanted – I could ask for someone, so they would send a man.”

“No, it’s pretty much ruined now. Thanks for thinking of me, though.”

He heads into the bathroom. He’s still hard, but the idea of jerking off just pisses him off, so he turns on the cold water. Before getting the private bathroom, all his showers had been cold. He can handle it. By the time he gets out, Raj has drunk most of the booze and is snoring in the second room. Lydia heads into the bathroom to take her own shower.

Alec sits down on the edge of his bed and rakes a hand through his hair, quietly wishing that he could go home. He’s a little surprised when Jace walks over and sits down next to him. “I think you were right, you know. To tell him off like that. Even if he doesn’t give us any more stuff.”

“Thanks,” Alec says, and sighs. “I just wish . . . I don’t know what I wish. For things I can’t have.”

“Yeah. I know that feeling.” Jace leans back against the wall. “Last year, when we got in first place, Raj teased me about not wanting to use the concubines. Luke had to tell him to cut it out. But it’s just like . . . they’re not who I want them to be.”

Alec tucks his legs up beneath himself. They don’t talk about home, about their families. It’s an unspoken rule that everyone agrees on. “You had a girl?”

“Yeah. Clary.” Jace stares up at the ceiling.

“Tell me about her.”

“She’s beautiful,” Jace says. “She has hair the color of fire and a smile that could light up a dark room. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known. She’s kind and sweet and just, so full of love for everyone, but at the same time she doesn’t take shit, you know? She’s the first one to say ‘fight me’ when someone else is out of line. I’ve known her ever since I was six years old. We were going to get married, but . . . decided to wait until after the reaping, just in case. We knew she wouldn’t get chosen – she’s too small, barely even five feet tall. We hoped I wouldn’t be, but . . .” His voice trails off.

“I always knew I would be chosen,” Alec says. “I can’t say how I knew. I just did. My dad thought it was a defense mechanism, like, I couldn’t allow myself to hope for anything better.”

“I didn’t see it coming. Maybe I should have. I don’t know.” Jace pushes a hand through his hair. “It’s been a year and a half. And there’s this part of me that hopes she moved on. You know? That she found someone else to love, maybe even got married or had kids. She can’t mourn me forever. But at the same time, the idea of her doing that breaks my heart. I can’t bring myself to have sex with a concubine because it feels like cheating on someone who I’ll never see again.”

Alec thinks about that for a minute, tries to think of something to say. He can’t come up with anything that would really help, so instead he just says, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Jace sighs. “What about you? Did you have a guy back home?”

“No. Never tried to find one. It always seemed pointless.”

Jace nods a little. He’s quiet for a minute, then says, “So, you wanna drink the rest of the booze and wrap Raj in toilet paper?”

Alec grins. “Hell yes, I do.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
> 
> (Full disclaimer: I cried twice while writing this chapter. You have been warned.)
> 
> (Fuller disclaimer: Don't worry, though, nobody dies, I would have tagged as a deathfic if I was mean enough to kill anybody.)

 

They all know that the next tournament they’re going to be in is going to be Jace and Valentine. Everybody is talking about it – with the exception of Valentine himself, who’s still seething. Some people think they might have all of Hawk against Scorpion, but Raj says they won’t, there’s still three months to go before the next reaping. They’ll keep the tension building.

In fact, Hawk gets to enjoy the first place chambers through several more tournaments, which none of them are called to be in. At least, they enjoy them at night. During the day, it’s all work. They’re determined that Jace is going to beat Valentine, and they drill endlessly.

It’s been almost two months since Blackwell’s death, and the suspense is driving them all insane, when the announcement abruptly comes on a brutally hot Tournament day. “Valentine Morgenstern, of Scorpion!” the guard shouts, and Jace huffs out a breath, his shoulders tensing. “Versus Alexander Lightwood, of Hawk!”

Alec feels like someone punched him in the gut. There are gasps of shock all around. But he quickly sees the logic behind it. Putting Jace against Valentine would be just like putting the two teams against each other. It would bring on the climactic fight too early. They’ll have Valentine kill him, now, as revenge for Blackwell – then Jace and Valentine will face each other in the last tournament of the year.

Everyone is just staring, except Valentine and the other Scorpions. They’re laughing. Loudly. Pangborn is nearly doubled over with it.

Alec looks at Jace, who’s wide-eyed and pale, and then automatically at Raj, who always has something witty and sarcastic to say that will make him feel better, even if it’s about his impending death. Or maybe he’ll have some advice, some advantage Alec has over Valentine that nobody has thought of yet. Raj is looking over at Valentine, and after a moment he turns back to Alec. His mouth works for a moment before he says, “It’s been a pleasure knowing you, Alec, and a privilege fighting with you.” He swallows hard. “You deserved better.”

With that, Raj turns and walks away, like he can’t even look at Alec anymore, after saying goodbye.

“We all do,” Lydia murmurs, almost to herself. “We all deserve better.” She wraps her arms around Alec and hugs him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Alec.”

She walks over to stand beside Raj. The others are filtering into the arena. Alec looks at Jace, who says, “I won’t let him get away with this.”

Fear spikes in Alec’s stomach. “No,” he says, and grabs Jace by the shoulders, making Jace look at him. “Promise me that you won’t go after Valentine. Promise me that you won’t do what Trueblood did. _Promise_ me, Jace.”

Jace’s face twists with rage and sorrow and a hundred other emotions. “I can’t – ”

“Listen to me,” Alec says. “I can’t win. I know that. But I’m going to go out there and I’m going to give this _everything_ I have. I’m going to fight to give as good as I get. I can’t kill him, but I can hurt him, Jace, hurt him badly enough to give you a chance. Listen to me!” he shouts, when Jace tries to turn away. “I hate Valentine. He’s a prick and a bully and I want you to take him down, but _this is not his fault_. Valentine is not the one who’s killed me. It’s them, the demons, the people who enslaved us and forced us into this. Remember that. You have to _always_ remember that, because the minute you forget that, the minute you blame Valentine for my death, they win. They’ll twist you around and make you hate until you’re just as empty as they are. So I need – ” His voice cracks, then steadies. “I need you to live, Jace. As long as you can. I need you to promise me that you’ll live as long as you can, even if that means Valentine lives, too.”

Jace stares at him for a minute, tears running down his cheeks, and then he nods. “I promise.”

Alec hugs him fiercely, as tightly as he can. “Thank you. For everything. Thank you for being my brother.” He lets go and turns away, jogging into the arena before Jace can say anything else.

Valentine is holding both bo staffs, and he tosses one to Alec casually, in an almost friendly way. Alec catches it and wonders why it has to be a bo staff. It’s his worst weapon, and Valentine’s best. Which also makes sense. Nobody wants him to win this fight. It’s all about the building drama.

“Say goodbye to your team?” Valentine asks.

Alec nods. “I did.”

“You know I’m not gonna feel sorry for Jace, or take it easy on him, when he’s the one in this ring.”

“I know,” Alec says. “That’s why I have to hurt you as much as I can.”

The bell clangs, and Valentine comes at him.

It’s going to be a long fight, and he knows it. He has to pace himself, has to be alert to every opening that Valentine gives him. In order to hurt Valentine, he might have to let his own defenses down a little. But not much – with one solid hit, the fight is going to be over. Valentine is strong enough to kill a man in one blow, with or without a staff backing that up.

He gives as good as he gets. Valentine is just as sweaty and winded as he is by the time the fight is well underway. They each take their share of hits, and Alec almost gets him in the back of the neck, but he wrenches away just in time.

It goes on and on and then finally it’s over, so fast that Alec never sees it coming. Just one misjudgment of where Valentine’s feint is going to go, one split second where his left side isn’t guarded, and Valentine’s staff whips up and smashes into his ribcage so hard that he goes flying. He lands on his back in the dirt with the breath knocked out of him, coughing and choking. Valentine pivots and brings the staff down hard across both of Alec’s knees.

He screams. It’s completely involuntary. Pain crashes over him in tidal waves of red. Somewhere, distantly, he hears a bell clang.

The bell makes no difference to Valentine. He brings the staff down again, on Alec’s stomach. This time Alec can’t even scream. There’s some part of him that sees Valentine lift the staff again, that knows that this time it’s going to come down on his head and then he’ll be done.

But something else happens instead. There’s a rush of cool blue light, and Valentine goes flying backwards as if hit by an enormous gust of wind. Alec knows what happened before he hears Magnus’ voice, a quiet, almost pleasant noise. “The bell has rung. The fight is over.”

Alec looks to one side to see Magnus standing beside him. His feet are bare. A remote part of Alec notes that his toes are kind of cute. He’s not sure what constitutes cute toes, but Magnus definitely has them.

 “I’m not done with him,” Valentine snarls.

Magnus clearly doesn’t care what Valentine thinks. He gestures to two of the guards, who set down a litter. “Take him to my chambers.”

Alec wants to be afraid. He knows he should be. But it doesn’t really matter. The world is starting to get blurry, dim. He’s losing consciousness, he thinks, but then he realizes that that isn’t quite right. He’s not losing consciousness. He’s dying.

“You have no right to interfere, half-breed,” Valentine shouts, and spits on Magnus’ bare feet.

Alec isn’t quite sure what happens next. One second Valentine is standing there, still in fighting stance, and the next minute Magnus flicks his fingers and Valentine goes flying backwards and smashes into one of the pillars.

“Better half than none,” Magnus says, his tone still pleasant, before he makes a beckoning gesture with one hand and turns to leave the arena.

Alec fades in and out during the trip, which is fortunately brief. He comes back to himself as the litter is set down with a bit of a jolt. “Leave us,” Magnus says, and a few seconds later, Alec hears a door shut. He looks up at Magnus, his cat eyes and beautiful lips, all of it a little fuzzy. Now the fear is setting in. He feels cold everywhere.

“Alexander,” Magnus says, kneeling down beside him. “Can you hear me?”

“Y-Yeah,” Alec rasps.

“Then listen closely. You have a choice to make. You’re dying – you have a few minutes left, probably, no more. I can ease your passing, if you’d like. Take away the pain. Or I can save you. But it will hurt like nothing you’ve ever known. It’s the sort of pain that drives people mad. I can’t guarantee you’ll ever truly come back from it.”

Alec doesn’t have to think about it. “I promised Izzy I would live.”

Magnus nods. “You can scream as much as you like. I’ll see you on the other side, I hope.”

He rests his hand on Alec’s stomach, and everything in the world explodes into agony.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

By the time the pain finally stops, Alec has screamed his throat raw. He can taste blood in his mouth, and nearly chokes on it. His body is trembling and soaked with sweat. He’s pretty sure he threw up at least twice, and his cheeks are damp from tears. He feels a gentle touch on his forehead, a voice which murmurs, “Sleep, Alexander,” and darkness takes him.

When he wakes up, he’s confused. He has no idea how much time has gone by. He opens his eyes, but wherever he is, it’s dimly lit, and he can’t see much of anything. He tries to lift his head and can’t. Just the effort sends pain racing up and down his entire body. He passes out again.

It’s lighter, the second time he wakes up. He can see a wooden ceiling above him, red curtains that surround him on almost every side but have been pulled back at one point to let the light in. He still can’t move. He does manage to lift his head about an inch, but nothing else will move. “M-Mom?” he calls out, then wonders why he said that. He desperately wants his mother, but he knows she’s not here.

Instead, Magnus Bane steps around the edge of the curtain and sits down on the floor next to him. “Alexander, good morning. How do you feel?”

“Can’t move,” Alec gasps, struggling to shift his body.

“I know. I’ve put a paralysis spell on you for now. I’ve gotten your bones all back in order, but they aren’t healed yet. That will take several days, and until then, the less you move, the better. I didn’t want you thrashing around when you woke up.”

Alec lets his head drop back down, panting. “Everything hurts.”

He expects Magnus to say ‘I know’ again or maybe ‘I did warn you’, but instead Magnus rests a hand on his forehead and closes his eyes. Some of the pain eases, although it’s still very much there. A few seconds later, Magnus opens his eyes and says, “You must be thirsty.”

“Yeah,” Alec says. Magnus gets up, but comes back a few moments later with a cup of water. He holds it to Alec’s mouth and lets him drink.

“Nothing solid for a few days,” he adds. “I managed to get your internal organs back where they should be, but I don’t think you should push your luck.”

Alec nods slowly. He’s watching Magnus, trying to puzzle out what’s going on now that he’s a little more awake. “What . . . what am I doing here? What’s going on? Why did you save me?”

Magnus shrugs. “Because I wanted to.”

“Are you going to . . .” Alec’s voice trails off, because there’s no good way to ask his next question.

Magnus gets what he means anyway. “Am I healing you just so I can torture and/or rape you?” he asks, and Alec grimaces but nods. “No. I’m aware of what people say about me – I even had a hand in spreading the rumors. It’s easier for me if the demons assume that I just have a taste, as one might say, for humans. That way they don’t wonder what I’m doing.”

“But what _are_ you doing?” Alec asks. “What are you going to do with me?”

Magnus looks a little surprised, as if he had expected Alec to have figured it out by now. “I’m going to take you home.”

Home. The word practically knocks the breath out of Alec. He stares at Magnus in disbelief. “Gladiators don’t . . . go home.”

“No, they don’t.” Magnus sighs and gets up to refill the cup of water. “The price of your freedom is secrecy. Because nobody can find out about what I’m doing. I can only save a few every year, but if I’m caught, that number will become zero. I’ll take you home, to your family, but you won’t be able to stay there. Everyone will know you were reaped, so you have to move somewhere else, somewhere that people don’t know you. Then you can live at least a partially normal life.”

Alec just stares at him with his jaw slightly ajar. He doesn’t know how to explain to Magnus that he can’t just _go home_. That home doesn’t exist for him, not anymore. “Why?”

Magnus doesn’t look at him. “I don’t approve of any of this, you know. But I’m just a bastard half-breed. They laugh and call me prince and let me play with the gladiators, but I have no real power. Certainly not the sort of power I would need to do anything about the tournaments. I save people when I can. It’s not enough, and I know that, but it’s all I can do.”

“But why me?” Tears are starting down Alec’s cheeks, and he can’t stop them. “You bastard, why me? Why not Selene Hightower? She was here for ten years and I had to kill her even though I didn’t want to. Why couldn’t you save her? Why me, why not Jace, or, or Raj or Lydia, why me? I’m no better than they are. I couldn’t even survive a year. I don’t deserve this.”

“Alexander.” Magnus’ voice is soft. “I’m sorry. I know I don’t understand what you’re going through. I know that I can’t possibly understand what it feels like to be forced to take someone’s life. And maybe you don’t deserve this any more than any of the others – but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. I can’t save everybody, but should that be a reason not to save anybody?”

“But why me?” Alec shouts. “It shouldn’t be me! Just because you, you like the way I look, or you w-want something from me – it’s not fair! I won’t – ” He struggles to get up, fights against the spell, but it gets him nowhere. “I won’t let you. I have to, to get back to Hawk. They need me.”

“Hawk will be fine,” Magnus says, making a quick gesture to strengthen his magic. “I’ll do everything I can for them. They won’t even fight again until the end of the year – I can talk the tourney masters into having the three of them fight Valentine together.”

“Don’t you fucking talk about this like you’re helping them!” Alec can’t stop crying. “Get them out of there, get them – send them home, too – please, Magnus – please – ”

“I can’t,” Magnus says quietly.

“You have to!”

“I can’t.”

Alec doesn’t say anything else. He’s crying too hard to talk. Magnus reaches out and gently rolls him onto his side so he can press his face into the pillow. After a while, he cries himself to sleep.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

For the next several days, Alec ignores Magnus. He won’t talk to him, tries not to even look at him. Magnus has him drink various potions and plenty of water, and although he occasionally tries to strike up a conversation, Alec won’t say anything but, “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say if it’s not about saving my friends.”

Finally, Magnus gets sick of it. He sits down next to Alec and says, “How long are you going to keep this up? I can’t just walk in and demand that the rest of Team Hawk be given to me for my pleasure.”

“Why not?” Alec snaps. “What would actually happen if you did that?”

“Well, people would want to know why. They would talk. Word would get to people in positions of power much greater than my own. They would realize I’ve been smuggling gladiators out of the city, and they would most likely kill me.”

“But that would be after you’d gotten my friends out of Edom.” Alec pins him down with a stare. “After you saved them.”

Magnus sighs. “Yes. I suppose that’s true.”

“So you _can_ save them. You just won’t.”

“Yes, all right. I acknowledge that’s true. I won’t. Because you’re placing the lives of your three friends above the hundreds of lives I’ll save in the future, and I won’t do that. I’m a warlock, Alexander, a half-breed. I could live hundreds of years. So are you trying to tell me that the hundreds of people I can save are less important than your three friends? Not to mention that you’re assuming that no legitimate chance to save them will come up in the future.”

“Well, it’s not like one has come up yet,” Alec says.

“And if you stopped to think about this for ten seconds instead of acting like a child, you’d know why.” Magnus is clearly about to lose his temper. “Because Hawk doesn’t lose. I can only rescue the people who lose. Your team members are good fighters. They’ve survived a long time and they’ve never given me the opportunity to rescue them. Luke taught them so well.”

“Yeah, well, I – ” Alec stops as something occurs to him. He looks over at Magnus for the first time. “Luke. They told me that, that you – you took Luke away. Is he – ”

Magnus nods. “Alive, and safe.”

“But they don’t even know.” Alec felt tears sting at his eyes. “They mourned him and now they’re mourning me. Can’t you see how cruel that is? How, how unfair?”

“Nothing about this is fair, Alec. I never said any of it was.” Magnus stands up and walks over to the window, looking out. “Yes, it’s cruel. But I’ve been doing this for decades, for damn near a century, and believe me, if there was a better way, I would use it. There is no better way, Alec. My hands are tied and my ability to help is limited and I don’t like that any better than you. I understand that this is personal for you. But it’s personal for me, too. If I could rain fire down on this city and save every gladiator in that ring, I would. But I can’t do that, Alec. I can only save a few. I chose to save you. I’m sorry that it makes you angry. I’d be angry too. I’m sorry that I can’t save everyone.” He closes the curtain and turns away. “I can’t even save myself.”

Alec blinks, then studies Magnus for a long moment. “What . . . what does that mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Magnus heads for the door. “I’m going to get you something to eat. It should be all right now.”

“Magnus, I – ”

Magnus turns to him and smiles. The expression is forced, brittle. “Don’t worry about it, Alec. You just rest and focus on healing.”

“All right,” Alec says, but adds, “I’m sorry. I’m not – I don’t mean to – ”

“It’s fine. You have every right to be upset.”

Alec sighs. “Just let me apologize for having been a jerk, okay?”

“Apology unnecessary, but accepted nonetheless.” Magnus smiles again, a real smile this time. “And that’s quite enough of that. I’m going down to the kitchen. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Alec says. “Thanks.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles innocently*
> 
> (PS: Everything I know about Asmodeus, I know from Wikipedia. I probably got at least 50% of it wrong. Sorry, any book fans out there.)

 

“So who is Izzy?” Magnus asks the next day, while he’s resting his hand on Alec’s knee, checking the progress of his healing. “Your sister, I presume?”

“Huh?” Alec asks.

“You said you promised Izzy you would live,” Magnus says, eyes still closed. “I know you don’t like women, and most people don’t get married until they’re past reaping age anyway. You wouldn’t call your mother by her first name, so a sister seems the most likely.”

“Yeah,” Alec says, recovering from his surprise. “She’s two years younger than me. I, uh. I have a young brother, too, Max. He just turned nine.”

“Quite a gap there,” Magnus says, moving his hand from one knee to the other.

“Mom got sick when Izzy was three. Didn’t recover for a long time. They weren’t sure she would even survive having more kids. Max was an accident.”

“Did she survive?”

“Yeah.” Alec isn’t sure why it’s suddenly a relief to talk about them. It was an unspoken rule among the gladiators not to talk about the ones they had left behind. The only time it had been broken was when Jace had talked about Clary. “She’s a seamstress. Dad works in the mines. So did I, until I got chosen.”

“And your sister?”

“Right now she’s doing the seamstress thing, but . . .” Alec sighs and throws in the towel. “I’m pretty sure she’s actively planning to get chosen as a concubine in the hopes that she can be reunited with me.”

“Well, that won’t be necessary, at least.”

“Yeah.” Alec’s quiet. He’s settled down some, and the emotions aren’t quite as strong, but he can’t get past the guilt he feels at leaving his team long enough to feel joy over his own salvation. Every time he thinks about it, his stomach twists into knots. He swallows and says, “How, uh. How is Hawk? Have you seen them?”

“I have not, but I have been keeping my ear to the ground to make sure there was no need for me to step in,” Magnus says. He pulls his hands back into his lap. “I think we might have you up and around again next week, if you take it easy.”

Alec nods. “Look, uh . . . I know I was an ass about this whole thing, but . . . you have to help them, okay? Even if you can’t get them out of here. You said you would help them.”

“I’m going to try, at least.” Magnus sighs and pulls over a cushion so he can arrange himself more comfortably on the floor. “Obviously, Hawk and Scorpion are the central players in this year’s drama. I wanted it to be Viper, but even I couldn’t anticipate Crocodile wiping them out like that. But like I said, I’m going to engineer it so Valentine goes up against Hawk by himself.”

“How?” Alec asks. “He still has two team members left.”

“Mm hm. But there are still going to be one-on-one fights before the end of the year. I can use Herondale, from Wasp, to take out Starkweather. And Monteverde from Crocodile ought to be able to handle Pangborn. That will leave Valentine on a team by himself, so if the final fight of the year is Hawk versus Scorpion, it’ll be three on one.”

“That still might not be enough,” Alec says. “I mean, they’ll win, but they might not all live.”

“I know. But it’s the best I can do, Alec.”

Alec wants to tell him that his best clearly isn’t good enough, but manages to close his mouth on the words. He still feels like there’s something going on that he doesn’t understand, but Magnus has made it clear that he’s not going to tell him.

The paralysis spell is taken off the next day. Magnus helps him gently move his legs around, although he’s nowhere near able to stand on them yet. But he’s able to prop himself up with some pillows so at least he’s not flat on his back anymore. He’s eating solid food, regaining his strength every day. Magnus thinks in another four or five days, he’ll be able to go home.

Despite Alec’s general unfriendliness, Magnus talks to him often, telling him stories about places he’s been and people he’s known. He never talks about himself or his family or anything that happens in Edom. Alec isn’t sure why. Sometimes Magnus asks questions about Alec’s life, but it hurts too much to answer them, and he usually changes the subject.

He’s in the middle of trying to ignore one of these stories when Magnus’ head suddenly whips around and the color drains from his face. “Oh, damn,” he says softly.

“What?” Alec asks, feeling panic stir his stomach. Had one of his team members died? How would Magnus even know if that had happened?

“He’s coming,” Magnus says. He gets to his feet and starts pulling the curtain around Alec’s bed closed. “Alec, listen to me, stay here and don’t make a sound. You _must not_ let him know you’re here. If you’re seen, we’re both dead. No matter what happens, stay behind the curtain until he’s gone. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I, I understand, but who - who’s he?”

In response, Magnus sweeps the curtain the rest of the way shut. Alec is left with only a tiny sliver of an opening through which he can see a small portion of the room. Moments later, the door creaks open. He can’t see it from where he’s lying, but he hears a voice, deep and melodious, jovial but with an underlying note of vicious cruelty. “Magnus, you’re looking well! I thought I might not see you again after last time.”

“Thank you, Father,” Magnus says, and Alec freezes as he realizes that he’s in a room with the King of Hell. “I am pleased to see you, as always.”

Magnus’ voice trembles slightly, and Alec is surprised. Alec is terrified of Asmodeus, but he doesn’t see why Magnus would be. Maybe he’s just afraid that Alec will give them away, that Asmodeus will realize he’s harboring a human in his chambers.

But Asmodeus doesn’t seem to notice. He’s talking about some other demon on some border city that’s been giving him trouble. Magnus is silent, but he’s walked around to stand at the foot of the bed, where Alec can see him. He can see Asmodeus now, as the demon walks in and out of his view. He’s quite tall, at least six inches taller than Alec, with pale skin and refined, sharp features. Two little horns curve from his forehead.

“I am honored to be of service to you,” Magnus says, and Alec realizes he’s lost track of the conversation. It doesn’t seem to matter, because Asmodeus doesn’t say anything in reply. Instead, he rests his hands on Magnus’ bare shoulders. Magnus lets out a choked gasp, but otherwise the room is silent. Alec wants desperately to know what’s going on, but he doesn’t dare move a muscle.

After what seems like a small eternity, there’s a thud. There’s no more dialogue. Just footsteps, the opening and closing of a door.

For a long time, Alec isn’t sure what to do. He finally edges the curtain aside just a little so he can see the whole room. Asmodeus is nowhere to be seen. Magnus is lying in a crumpled heap at the foot of his bed, unmoving.

“Magnus,” Alec hisses, still not sure if it’s safe to come out. “Magnus, what happened?”

Magnus doesn’t respond. Alec grits his teeth and looks around a little more thoroughly. When he’s satisfied that Asmodeus isn’t lurking behind the bureau, he pushes the curtain the rest of the way open. He can’t walk, can’t even crawl, so he uses his elbows to drag himself over to Magnus. What he sees shocks him. Magnus is unconscious, skin gray and lips pale, and he’s freezing cold to the touch. “Magnus,” Alec says, cradling the warlock’s face in his hands. “Hey, Magnus.”

This gets him no response. He feels for a pulse, and Magnus’ heartbeat faintly flickers underneath his fingers. “Shit,” Alec mumbles, and tries to figure out what to do. He’s not strong enough to get Magnus onto the bed or even drag him over to his own nest of blankets. He rolls onto his side and curls his body around Magnus’ instead, rubbing his hands up and down Magnus’ chest to try to warm him up. He remember sleeping like this in their village sometimes, when it got so cold at night that sleep was impossible if they didn’t huddle together.

Gradually, Magnus begins to stir. He gives a faint moan and then subsides as his whole body starts to shiver. Alec knows that that’s actually good, despite seeming like a step backwards; Magnus’ body has recovered enough to start trying to warm itself up. Alec rubs his chest more vigorously and manages to drag a blanket down off the bed, wrapping them both up in it.

At least an hour passes before Magnus’ shivering stops. He slurs out, “Lessander,” and tries to look around.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Alec says. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Takes - my strength.” Magnus lets out a breath and nestles into Alec’s embrace. “For himself. Damn near - kills me - every time.”

“I thought you were dead,” Alec says.

“I thought I was, too,” Magnus murmurs, and then he goes silent. His body relaxes, his breathing becomes deep and even.

Alec sighs a little but doesn’t try to wake him. Magnus obviously needs rest, and Alec isn’t strong enough to get them into bed, so it doesn’t really matter. After a while, he dozes, too. He doesn’t wake until Magnus manages to get up. Alec watches as he wordlessly goes over to the vanity and the sink and begins to clean himself up. He’s wobbly, but seems able to walk while heavily leaning against things.

“Let me get you back into bed,” he says, when he’s done.

“I’ll do it,” Alec says, pulling himself across the floor. “You’re not strong enough anyway, and don’t pretend you are.”

“You shouldn’t be straining yourself.”

Alec shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“I am thirsty, and you can stop trying to pretend nothing happened.” Alec props himself up on the pillows and watches Magnus as he brings him a glass of water. “Does he do that a lot?”

“No. Well, it depends on how you define ‘a lot’, keeping in mind that demons have a very different concept of the passage of time than humans do. Once every few years. The last time was almost a decade ago.” Magnus hands are still shaking as he holds the cup to Alec’s lips. “But it doesn’t matter how much strength I can regain while he’s gone. It’s never enough. Each time drains me a little more. I thought this was going to be the last time, to be honest. It wasn’t, but it will be soon. Most of Asmodeus’ warlock children only last about a hundred years. For some reason I was born stronger than the others.”

Alec’s fingers brush against Magnus’ as he withdraws the cup. “You’re still so cold.”

“Yes, I will be for days, probably weeks.”

“C’mere.” Alec pulls Magnus against his shoulder. Magnus is startled, but allows it, and after a moment, leans against Alec heavily as Alec tucks a blanket around his shoulders. “Why do you stay here, if that happens? Why don’t you just go somewhere he can’t get to you?”

“Such a place doesn’t exist,” Magnus says. “He can find me anywhere. It doesn’t matter how far I go.”

Alec mulls that over for a minute. “Then really, you’re as much a prisoner as we are.”

“Oh, no!” Magnus’ eyes fly open. “I’m not trying to conflate my situation with yours, honestly. My life is a dream compared to what happens to you. I’m not forced to fight, to kill - I’m not forced to do anything, honestly, I can do whatever I like. Just . . . not forever.”

“I guess that’s true,” Alec says. “I was just thinking, we are alike in some ways. Because I know what it’s like to live knowing every day could be my last, at the whim of someone else.”

Magnus closes his eyes. “Yes, well. It _does_ take some of the joy out of things, admittedly.” He’s quiet for a long minute, then pulls away, keeping the blanket but sitting apart from Alec. “I’m afraid I wasn’t one hundred percent honest with you. When I said I could save hundreds more lives. It won’t be anywhere near that many. I don’t know how much longer I have to live. I’d like to believe it would be a long time. But really, the only reason I can’t save your friends . . . is because I don’t want to die.”

Alec isn’t sure what to say to that. He knows how Magnus feels. He’s fighting to survive, just like Alec is, just like all of them are. After a moment to think, he leans in and presses his lips against Magnus’. Magnus pulls away, startled. “What was that for?”

“For risking your life to save mine,” Alec says. “I was kind of a jerk about it, and I just realized that I had never thanked you. So thank you, Magnus, for saving me.” He leans in and kisses him again. “And to be honest, I just got really sick of not kissing you.”

Magnus’ surprise disappears, melting into a smile that’s almost shy. He leans back in. Alec meets him halfway there, and kisses him over and over again, reaching up with one hand to rub his thumb over Magnus’ cheek. Magnus reaches up to cup the back of Alec’s neck with one hand, pulling him closer.

Somewhere in there, Alec figures out what he wants to say. He lets Magnus go and says, “You can’t ever stop fighting. That’s how they win. You know that, right?”

Magnus nods. “I know.”

“But you don’t have to fight alone. You’re not alone, Magnus.”

Magnus smiles, but it’s raw and wounded and sad. He doesn’t argue, though, just rests his face against Alec’s shoulder and says, “Thank you, Alec.”

Alec pulls Magnus against his chest and lies down, hoping he can keep the cold at bay, and they sleep curled up together underneath the blankets.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

They don’t talk about it for the next few days. Alec regains his strength, and Magnus recovers his own, although he says it will be weeks or even months before he’s feeling like his normal self again. When they do talk, it’s not about the future, but about the past. Magnus explains the way Asmodeus has warlock children so he can leech off their power to keep his realm in order. He talks about the half-siblings he’s lost over the years, each one slowly drained until one day it’s just too much and they don’t wake up again.

Alec lets him talk, because he doesn’t think Magnus has ever told anyone about any of this. It’s obviously new for him to have someone he can talk to about it. It’s clear that Magnus hadn’t been planning to tell him, either, but Asmodeus’ ill-timed entrance had forced his hand.

For his part, Alec would rather talk about what they’re going to do now. He doesn’t have a clue himself, but he knows that he can’t leave Magnus behind any more than he can leave his team members behind. He tries to imagine what it’s been like for Magnus, sneaking people out one at a time, always afraid that someone would find out and kill him, spreading rumors about his own horrific habits just so nobody would question him. He’s reviled by both the demons and the humans, and he truly has no one.

Alec can’t imagine being that alone. He’s had a hard life, but there have always been people around him who cared about him, who supported him. Magnus has fought for centuries, saving complete strangers, with absolutely nobody beside him. Alec is determined that those days are over.

But they don’t talk about it, because whenever Alec tries to bring it up, Magnus just shakes his head and says that he’s thought it all through, that they don’t have any options. “You’ve got a group of people down there who are amazing fighters,” Alec tells him. “We could get out of here.”

“Yes,” Magnus says with a nod. “That is absolutely true. In a day or two, I’ll be up to opening a portal again. So yes, an uprising is totally a possibility. Except that wouldn’t stop the demons from simply harvesting an entire new crop, as it were, on reaping day.”

Alec grimaces. He knows that Magnus is right, and that it wouldn’t be fair to throw fifty-two rookies into the games. “Well, after that, we could - ”

“ ‘We’ would do nothing, because my father would hunt me down and kill me.”

“He wouldn’t need to know that you were involved.”

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “None of the gladiators can open a portal, so he would know someone helped them escape, and it doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure it out, particularly if I go with you, which you obviously intend for me to do.”

Alec chews on his lower lip. “There must be some way.”

Magnus sighs. “You’re aware that I have done this before, aren’t you? About fifty years ago. One of my brothers, Ragnor, found out my secret. He offered to help me. We smuggled out forty gladiators. They were all caught a month later, and Ragnor was executed. He went to his grave without breathing a word of my involvement.” He looks away. “I won’t take a risk like that again.”

“Well, we have to come up with something,” Alec says firmly, “because I’m not leaving you here.”

Magnus sits down next to him, and although he gives a quiet sigh, it ends in a smile. “Thank you. For thinking that I’m worth saving.”

“Of course you’re worth saving,” Alec says, scowling at him. “I don’t know how we’re going to do it. But we’re going to find a way.”

“Mm hm.” Magnus leans in for a kiss.

Alec returns it, but then pulls away. “If it’s your father who can find you anywhere, we have to find a way to kill him.”

True alarm lights up Magnus’ face. “No, that is a _terrible_ idea, Alexander. Asmodeus is not someone you can take lightly. It doesn’t matter how many gladiators you throw at him. He’ll vaporize them and then go back to afternoon tea. There’s nobody in Edom who has even the slightest hope of challenging him.”

“But we have to find a way to keep you safe from him,” Alec says. “I’m not going to let him hurt you again.”

Magnus studies him for a long minute with an expression that holds more emotions than Alec can identify: sorrow, fear, regret, understanding. Magnus leans forward and lets his forehead rest against Alec’s. “You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known,” he says. “I’m so glad I met you. And I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Alec asks, pulling away, before he sees the magic flare around Magnus’ hands. Moments later, everything goes dark.

When he wakes up, he’s lying on a familiar old mattress in a familiar room. Home. He recognizes it instantly, before he’s even come all the way back to consciousness. He’s home, and Magnus is nowhere to be seen.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about 90% angst and survivor's guilt. I'm only a little sorry. =D

 

“Alec! Alec! Alec Alec Alec Alec - ”

For a minute it seemed like he had dreamed everything. His old bedroom is exactly the same, from the rough floor to the vaguely stained pillow and the cloudy window. Even the smell is the same. It’s as if he never left, never met any of Hawk, never met Magnus. But then Max breaks the spell when he runs into the room and starts jumping up and down on him.

“Max, for goodness’ sake, be careful! He’s still injured - ” The rest of the family rushes in as Alec gets Max in an embrace to still his jumping. He hugs his brother as tightly as he can, as the others swarm him. He leans his head into Izzy’s shoulder as Maryse presses kiss into his forehead and his father hugs him from behind.

He can’t begin to put his feelings into words. He’s _home_. He’s with his family, who he thought he would never see again, and for a few minutes, all that exists is a deep well of joy that makes it impossible to speak. He clutches at them, trying to hug them all at once. Then Max elbows him in just the wrong way and there’s a sharp flare of pain. He grunts and flinches away involuntarily.

“I told you to be careful,” Robert says, gathering Max into his arms. He looks anxiously at Alec and says, “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

“Just a little.” Alec stares at them, wondering how much they know. “What - what happened? How did I - ”

“That warlock brought you,” Maryse says, wiping her eyes and regaining her composure. “He said not to let anybody see you, that there was a place we would be able to live safely. We’ve been packing up, though he said it’s quite a journey.”

“He told us you’d been badly hurt and he was able to smuggle you out,” Izzy says, and snuffles. “We thought you were dead. I mean. We were told that you had died in the arena, so.”

“So imagine our surprise!” Robert says, squeezing Alec’s shoulders.

“Did he say anything else?” Alec asks.

Maryse shakes her head. “Well, nothing besides giving us the map of how to get to the village - he called it the Losers’ Village, I guess it’s where all the gladiators he’s rescued go.”

Alec nods and closes his eyes and curses Magnus to hell and back again. He should have seen this coming. Should have known that there was no way Magnus would let him try to take on Asmodeus. But he hadn’t, and for a minute it hurts more than he can bear. There’s nothing he can do. No way he can save Magnus, or Jace and Raj and Lydia. Magnus is alone again, and soon he’ll die alone.

But he’s home. He’s _home_. He buries his face in his mother’s shoulder and hugs her as tightly as he can.

Max wants to tell him all about everything that’s happened since he’s left, and Izzy has a few funny stories, and they manage to cheer him up. Robert tentatively asks if he wants to talk about the arena, and Alec says he doesn’t. They all respect that. Maryse says she’s going to go down to the market and get something to make for dinner. “You must be hungry,” she says, giving him another kiss on the forehead before she departs.

She comes back with fish and makes his favorite yellow rice and Alec tries to smile and doesn’t understand why he can’t.

He’s not alone again until after dark, when everyone goes to sleep. He sneaks out the back, sitting on their back step and looking up at the stars. He hadn’t expected he would ever see them again.

“Hey,” Izzy says softly, sitting down next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t – ” Alec feels his throat tighten. “I can’t, Izzy. I’m sorry.”

Izzy reaches out and takes his hand. She sits in silence for a few minutes. “You remember Steven Pontmercy? He came by a few weeks after you got reaped. He wanted to tell me that he was sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For not being chosen. He said he had sort of hoped it would be him, because he has no family – you know, his brother died in the mines a few years ago, and his parents died when he was little. He said it wasn’t fair. That he would have gone in your place, if he could.”

“I barely even knew him,” Alec says, surprised.

“I know. But I think there’s always going to be that sort of guilt when you live but you know someone else is going to die.”

Alec feels that lump in his throat start to choke him again. “I know I – I’m home and I should be happy, there’s a part of me that _is_ happy but there’s another part of me that _hates_ myself for this, for surviving, and I don’t – I don’t feel like I should be here. It isn’t fair. I want to be happy but I miss my friends, and they’re going to die and I can’t do anything to help them.”

Izzy pulls Alec against her shoulder, holding him tightly as he chokes out a sob. “It’s okay, big brother,” she says softly. “I know I can’t really understand, but it’s okay if you’re sad, or angry, instead of just being glad to be home. It’s okay.”

He cries for a long time, and she holds him and rubs his back. Finally, he pulls away and takes a few deep breaths. “Better?” Izzy asks, offering him a handkerchief, and he nods.

“I did miss you like crazy,” he says.

“I know.” She bumps shoulders with him.

They sit in silence for several minutes. Then Alec starts to tell her about them, about Jace’s friendship and encouragement, Raj’s dry humor, Lydia’s mix of kindness and skill. She holds his hand and just sits with him while he tells her about his first fight with Samuel Nightshade, about killing Selene Hightower and how dirty he had felt afterwards, how he couldn’t comprehend the idea of being ready to die but at the same time he could. He told her about Valentine and how much he hated him, even knowing that it wasn’t really his fault. He talks about how afraid he had been, and still was, for Jace, knowing that he was going to end up fighting Valentine. About how blindsided they had been when Alec had been matched up against him instead, but how it made sense, how he was sort of surprised they hadn’t seen it coming. Raj was so good at predicting the matches, and he wonders if Raj _had_ guessed it would happen, but just hadn’t said anything because there was no way to prevent it or prepare for it.

He told her about Magnus. About how alone and afraid he was, but how he worked to save complete strangers just because it was the right thing to do. How Alec had told him he wouldn’t be alone anymore, had wanted, _expected_ to be able to help him. And now he realizes that Magnus had never intended to let him, that Magnus didn’t think he was worth saving, that he would never risk anyone else’s life to save his own.

“I would do anything to help them,” he finally says. “But there’s nothing I can do. I can’t get back to Edom. I don’t even know where it is.”

“I’m sorry,” Izzy says quietly. “I . . .” Her voice trails off and Alec gives her a questioning look. She shakes her head. “Never mind. I was just thinking back to . . . the day we found out you were dead. You know, they come around after each tournament and post the results in town. Sometimes I wonder why they even do that, but I guess it’s to remind us that they can kill us whenever they want . . .”

Alec nods. “To keep us afraid.”

“Yeah. And I waited right in the town square to get the results. You’re the only gladiator from here, you know? All the others have been killed. Last year’s didn’t even make it past their first tournament on – weeding day, you called it?” she adds, and he nods. “So I would wait there, alone. Thinking about how I would find a way to rescue you.”

“At least you don’t have to do that now,” Alec says.

Izzy darts a glance at him, but then nods. “So, you know, most of the time you weren’t even on the lists, because you hadn’t had to fight. And when you won your first fight, and then your second . . . God, Mom was so proud. ‘That’s my fighter’ she said. Dad, though, he was always waiting for the axe to fall. He would get real quiet about it. And I . . . I guess I started to really believe that things would be okay. I would find a way to get to you, and you would survive, like you promised me . . .” She sniffles a little. “Pretty childish, huh? Like you can survive just by _wanting_ to.”

“Yeah,” Alec says. “I guess I was the same way for a bit.”

“And so even though I was still a ball of nerve waiting for the results, I didn’t . . . didn’t dread it the way I did at the beginning. Because you were winning. Which is maybe why it, it hit me so hard. The way it’s posted, it doesn’t even say someone died. It just has the match names and the victor. So I was like ‘oh, Alec had to fight again’ and then ‘victor: Valentine Morgenstern’ and it just . . . didn’t click. I kept looking for your name. Couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t there. I just stood there for, God, it must have been hours. Finally, Mom wondered where I was and came to find me. She knew as soon as she saw me, and she . . .” Izzy wipes her eyes and lets out a breath. “She took me home. I cried for three days. Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t get out of bed. I just didn’t see the point. I had promised I would save you and . . .”

Alec gets an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into a hug.

“We didn’t even tell Max. Mom didn’t think he’d understand, you know? We had already told him that he would never see you again, so what did it matter if we told him you were dead? Dad figured, when he was old enough to understand what the reaping was for, then we would tell him . . . what had happened to you. And about how he wouldn’t be in danger, because you had died.”

“I told myself that a lot down there,” Alec says. “That at least I knew Max would never have to go through the same thing.”

Izzy snuffles a little and then nods. “Almost a week went by, and I was still a wreck. Mom basically had to drag me out of bed every morning and she gave me a list of things to do or else I would just . . . and then Dad came home from the mines with this strange warlock. I guess Magnus found him at the mines since he didn’t know where our house was.”

“I told him that Dad worked there, so that makes sense,” Alec says. He knows that warlocks can only portal somewhere that they’ve been before, so he had wondered how Magnus had gotten him to the house.

“Magnus said that he had something of yours and now that he knew where we were, he would get it. Then he showed back up holding you, like you were just a baby. I thought it was your body, at first. That he had brought us your body. And there was a part of me that was grateful because at least we could bury you, and a part of me that just felt more sick about it than ever. Then I saw that you were breathing, and . . . Mom broke down and started sobbing. Dad was trying to ask questions but couldn’t make himself make sense. I was just frozen. I couldn’t believe it. I was afraid that if I moved, I would wake up and find out it was a dream.

“Eventually Magnus got us calmed down. I guess if he does this a few times a year, he must be pretty experienced at it. He explained what he did, said you would probably need at least another week or so off your feet before you’d be able to travel. And then he left. I’m sorry, Alec. I should have realized you would want to see him again.”

Alec shrugs a little. “You had no way of knowing.”

“I know, but I . . .” Izzy trails off.

Alec gives her a curious look. Izzy isn’t normally reticent, even in – or perhaps especially in – emotionally fraught circumstances. He feels like there’s something she’s not telling him, but he can’t imagine what it would be. After a few moments, he shrugs it off. Izzy needs time, just like he does, to deal with this in her own way. Quietly, he says, “I wish I could have said goodbye to him. At least with Hawk, I got a chance to say goodbye.”

Izzy reaches over and takes his hand, gives it a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

“Is it weird that I’m pissed at him?” Alec asks. “I mean, I know that he did what he did to protect me, but . . .”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Izzy says. “He was protecting you, but he didn’t give you any choice in the matter. And after having so many of your choices taken away, I can see how that would grate. But I’m . . . I’m glad he did it,” she confesses. “I’m glad that you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, but he could have come with me, he could have – could have at least talked to me.” Alec sighs. “But he never would have convinced me and he knew it, so I guess I get why he did what he did.” He yawns suddenly, surprising himself.

Izzy laughs. “Come on, you. You’re still injured, you know. Let’s get you into bed.”

“Okay,” Alec says. He lets Izzy pull him to his feet and leans on her as they go into the house. But once he’s back in bed, he can’t sleep. He stares up at the ceiling and wonders what Magnus is doing.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The next day, Robert has to go back to the mines, and Max is in school. Alec is fine hanging out with his mother and Izzy, although Maryse fusses over him and tells him not to walk around too much. He’s basically okay with that. His legs still get quite sore if he stands on them for more than a few minutes, and he tires more easily than he would have anticipated.

All they can talk about is the upcoming trip to the Losers’ Village. Alec wants to be excited, but he isn’t, he can’t be. He can’t be excited about anything when he thinks about Magnus, about his team, so he lets the others talk about it, lets them be excited on his behalf. He tries to hide how he feels about it, because he knows that they’re glad he’s home. So he forces smiles and pretends he cares. He’s not sure whether or not he’s fooling anyone, but at least they don’t mention it.

Maryse is talking about selling some of their things so they can afford a carriage. Otherwise, Alec might not be up to the journey for weeks. Alec hates the idea of them spending money on him like that, but doesn’t argue because he knows they’re right. Magnus had done an amazing job healing him, but he’s not up to walking twenty miles in a day. And the longer the trip will take, the more dangerous it will be. Humans are allowed to live wherever they want, in theory, but that doesn’t mean demons won’t see them on the road and take exception to their presence.

“I’m surprised Magnus didn’t just portal us straight there,” Robert remarks.

“I don’t think he would have had the energy to make another portal,” Alec says. “He already had to make two – one to get to the basic area so he could find you, and then a second to get me here. I know that he finds them very tiring, and especially after what Asmodeus did – that was probably difficult enough for him. To make a third to get us to the Losers’ Village probably would have been impossible.”

“So we’ll make our own way,” Maryse says, with a nod.

Izzy is surprisingly quiet during these discussions, and Alec still feels like there’s something going on with her that he’s missing. He doesn’t say anything, but on the night before they leave, Maryse notices, and says, “You’re awfully quiet, honey. Are you all right?”

“It’s just weird to think about . . . leaving,” Izzy says, and then forces a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

Alec doesn’t say anything, but he actually agrees a little bit. It’s not as weird for him – he’s already left once – but it must be for the rest of his family, who have never lived anywhere else. That’s what he’s thinking about that evening, while he lies in bed, Max already asleep on one side of him, Izzy on the other.

He’s just drifting off when Izzy sits up and abruptly says, “I have to tell you something.”

Alec blinks at her and rubs a hand over his eyes. “Mmkay. What is it?”

Izzy lets out a breath. “I know how to get to Edom.”

Alec blinks again. “You . . . what?”

“How to get to Edom. You know, you said you wanted to go back for, for Magnus and your team, but you couldn’t. I thought – I knew I should tell you, but I – ” Izzy’s voice cracks. “I was so happy to have you back. I had already lost you once. How could I tell you and, and have you run off and get killed?”

“Oh,” Alec says. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Izzy. I know that – that none of this has been easy on you. But we’ll talk about it, okay? We’ll make a decision together. We’ll be stuck in a carriage for a week, so – ”

“No, we can’t,” Izzy says. “If you want to go to Edom, we can’t leave.” She takes another deep breath. “It’s the portal, Alec. The portal at the reaping. That’s how to get to Edom. Wherever the Losers’ Village is, they won’t have a reaping, there won’t be a portal.”

“How could you . . .” Alec says, but he’s starting to put it together.

“I told you that I would come for you and I meant it,” Izzy says. “I had a plan. Sort of. Last year, I paid attention, because I knew you might get chosen and I might have to find a way to get to you. The demons come through the portal and then they come check out the humans, right? But they don’t close the portal behind them, because they know they’re only going to be here a few minutes. They just leave it hanging open. Nobody’s paying attention to it, because they’re all preoccupied with the reaping. It’d be easy to sneak through.”

Alec thinks that over, and his heart begins to pound. “That . . . that might actually work. I’d come out in the arena, but nobody would really be there yet. If I wore a reaping outfit, I’d blend in. I could get to Hawk easily.”

“But I don’t want you to go,” Izzy chokes out. “God, Alec, you don’t know – you don’t know what it was like, thinking you were dead. Please don’t ask me to do that again.”

“I can’t . . .” Alec doesn’t know what to say. He can’t promise not to die – he’s already nearly broken that promise once – but he can’t leave his friends behind. Finally, he says quietly, “Izzy, you knew when you decided to tell me that I would have to go.”

“I know.” Izzy impatiently wipes her eyes. “I _know_ , Alec. I know it’s the right thing to do and I know you’re going to do it, but – you can’t leave me. I’m going with you.”

“Izzy – ”

“No,” she says fiercely. “If you’re going, I’m going. End of story.”

Alec studies her in the dim light. “Okay,” he says. “We get to Hawk, we get to Magnus, and he can portal us out.”

“Right,” Izzy says.

Alec thinks it over, looking for any obvious flaws. “I hate having to wait that long. The final fights of the year are brutal. What if – what if they don’t make it?”

“You said Magnus was going to help with that though, right?” Izzy says.

“He did, but.” Alec sighs. He doesn’t see a better way, and it’s certainly more of an idea than he had five minutes ago. He’ll have to trust his friends to survive, trust Magnus to protect them. “Okay. Yeah. But we still have a problem even after we get in and out, namely, that Asmodeus can find Magnus anywhere he goes, and we won’t be able to fight him without some sort of, of divine intervention.”

“I get that. I just – ” Izzy breaks off suddenly, frowning. “Hey, do you remember the story of Jonathan Shadowhunter?”

Alec blinks, taken off guard by the sudden tangent. “Uh, yeah, tried to mount a rebellion against the demons a thousand years ago, got his ass handed to him. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, in the story, Shadowhunter tried to summon an angel to help him fight the war, but he couldn’t manage to do it alone. He needed the help of a warlock, and they were all loyal to their fathers.”

“You think Magnus could summon up a literal angel to help us? Izzy, it’s just a story.”

“True, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.” Izzy lets out a breath. “Look, we’ve got two months until the reaping. We’ve got time to figure it out. At least – at least it’s an idea. It’s something. So in the morning, we’ll tell Mom and Dad that we’ve decided we can’t leave, and then – we’ll figure it out from there. Okay?”

“Okay.” Alec lays back down. “Thanks, Izzy. I never would have come up with any of this on my own. You were always way smarter than me.”

“Obviously,” she says, laughing through her tears. Alec laughs, too, and he falls asleep hoping that she’s right, that this will work, that he’ll see his friends again.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many reunions! I love this chapter. <3

 

Maryse and Robert reluctantly agree to the plan. Maryse says, “I hate it, but I’m proud of you for doing it.” Since they can’t leave, Alec has to stay inside. He knows they’re stretching things thin to accommodate him, and tries to help his mother around the house as much as he can. It helps him keep his mind off his fear that his teammates will be killed before he can get to them.

Meanwhile, Izzy is scouring the books and memories of everyone she can find for information on Jonathan Shadowhunter. By the end of the month, they’ve agreed that calling on an angel should be possible, even if they’re not one hundred percent sure of how to do it. They keep researching, and at least compile some information on ways it _might_ be done.

Alec waits anxiously to hear news from the arena. It often takes a few days to filter down, but he desperately needs to hear that Hawk won their final fight with no casualties. What he ends up finding out is a complete surprise to him – Hawk wasn’t even in the final fight. He has no idea why, but the final fight of the year was Scorpion versus Crocodile. Individual fights rather than a team fight. Monteverde survived, but Valentine and Starkweather killed his other two teammates.

He doesn’t know what might have happened, but he suspects Magnus had a hand in it, and he’ll be able to ask him directly soon. He’s not going to wait around to eventually hear about Jace and the others dying in the arena.

A few days before the reaping, Maryse and Robert leave for the Losers’ Village. They take Max with them. Izzy and Alec will meet them there, presuming they survive their attack on Edom.

They’re up with the sun on reaping day. Izzy has gotten them each a set of black outfits, although Alec’s pants are a couple inches on the short side. It goes down much more smoothly than he would have expected. Izzy is exactly right about what the demons care about. They open the portal and then pay absolutely no attention to it, heading over to look at the candidates for the reaping.

Alec has asked Izzy at least a hundred times if she’s sure that she wants to do this. Once they go through that portal, there’s no guarantee that they’ll be able to get out of Edom. A lot of things could have happened in the last two months. Magnus might not even be there anymore. He could be dead by now. Or he could refuse to help them, although Alec has some very specific things in mind if Magnus tries that. One way or another, this could be a one way ticket. But Izzy says there’s no way she’s letting him go alone.

A few quick steps and they’re back in the arena. He didn’t expect it to hit him the way it does, the scent of old blood and the pale gray sky. He shudders, pressing both hands against his mouth and fighting nausea.

Izzy is quick to redirect him. “Where to?”

“This way.” He grabs her by the wrist and darts into the closest side tunnel. They need to go to the cafeteria first, to see the scoreboard. Hawk might or might not still be in first place, and where their rooms are will depend on that. Fortunately, it’s deserted this time of day. All the gladiators are in their rooms, waiting for their rookies. Alec looks up at the scoreboard and sees that Hawk is still in the lead, which sends a wave of relief through him. That almost certainly means that none of them have been killed. Scorpion is second, and Crocodile ended in fourth, behind Wasp.

He heads down the hallway to the private chambers. His heart is beating wildly in his chest as he jogs, praying to God that his friends are okay. He reaches the door and flings it open, charging inside.

“Holy shit,” Jace says, nearly falling off his cot. “Holy _shit_. Alec?!”

“Oh thank God,” Alec says, getting an arm around Jace’s shoulders and pulling him into a hug so tight it makes his ribs ache. “You’re okay, you’re all okay – ”

“We – we thought you were dead,” Lydia stammers, her eyes wide. “How can you still be alive?”

“I’ll explain everything, but we don’t have much time – ”

“How do we know this isn’t a trick?” Jace demands, pulling back as this occurs to him. “You could be an Eidolon demon just impersonating Alec – ”

“Would an Eidolon demon know about how much you’re still in love with Clary?” Alec asks.

Jace blinks. “No, no it would not,” he says, and rubs a hand over his face. “It – it’s really you?”

“Magnus saved my life,” Alec says. “That’s what happens when he takes people. He doesn’t kill them, he saves them, smuggles them out of Edom. He got me out but I couldn’t leave you guys here, and I can’t leave him here either. If we can get to him, he can portal us out of here. I know you have a lot of questions but we don’t have much time, so I just need you to trust me.”

“Then why are we still standing here?” Raj asks. “Let’s move.”

“I’ll take rear guard,” Lydia says, sliding her shoes on. “You know where Magnus is?”

“Not exactly, but I know his room overlooks the arena. I saw out the window a few times, enough to know which tower it’s in. I’m not exactly sure of which floor, but I don’t think we’ll have a lot of trouble finding him.”

“Lead the way,” Jace says.

Alec heads down the hallway at a quick jog. He’s curious about a few things, like why Hawk hadn’t fought in the final battle, but there are time for questions later. He’s sure that they have even more questions than he does. He takes the stairs two at a time, relieved to have Jace at his back. Izzy’s in the middle, as protected as she can be.

There are windows along the tower, so it’s easy to guess approximately when he’s gotten to the right altitude. He stops outside a door and knocks, then twists the knob and looks in. The room is empty, and it certainly isn’t draped with red curtains. “Next floor,” he says, and keeps jogging.

The next door is actually ajar, and he glances through to see Magnus’ familiar furniture and decorations before pushing it the rest of the way open and bursting inside. “Magnus?”

Magnus comes out from behind the curtain, pale and exhausted-looking, with dark circles under his eyes. “Alec?” His eyes are wide with shock, and then he takes in the people behind him. Izzy shuts the door behind them, and Magnus groans. “Oh my God, Alec. You didn’t. You _didn’t_.”

“You are _not staying here_ ,” Alec says, grabbing him by the wrist. “I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself to keep saving people. We are getting out of here right now, we, all of us.”

“And when my father comes for me – ”

“We will figure something out,” Alec says. He takes Magnus by the shoulders and forces the warlock to look at him. “Magnus, I’m not letting you go.” He reaches out and rubs his thumb over Magnus’ cheekbone. “You’ve been alone long enough. We’re in this together, and I’m not leaving you here.”

Magnus lets out a shaky breath and looks over the group. “I don’t know that I’m strong enough to open a portal.”

“Then take my strength.” Alec leans in and presses a kiss against Magnus’ mouth. “Take what you need. Get us out of here, take us to the village.”

Magnus winces a little. “You don’t know what it’s like – I don’t want to – ”

“Magnus, it’s okay,” Alec says, drawing him into an embrace, hugging him tightly. “It’s okay. Take my strength.”

Magnus kisses him. At first it’s just a kiss, warm and gentle and glorious. Then he feels Magnus’ hands on the side of his face. The sensation of power being taken is like falling, suddenly feeling adrift and cut off. The temperature is dropping and his knees feel weak; he’s dizzy and disoriented. Then he sees the portal open.

“Go through,” Magnus says, a little hoarse. The others waste no time. It’s Izzy who lingers, who talked this over with Alec and knows there’s at least a fifty percent chance that Magnus will try to close the portal without going through himself. Alec is still dizzy and weak. Izzy grabs each of them by a hand and dives through, and the portal closes behind them.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Where are we?” Raj asks, looking around. They’re in what looks like a barn, empty of people but filled with equipment. “I mean, really, what the hell is going on?”

Izzy helps Alec sit down, and Magnus sags against his shoulder. “Sorry. Didn’t want to take too much. Can’t . . .” His head lolls and he loses consciousness. Alec cradles him carefully, smoothing down his hair.

“Is he okay?” Jace asks.

“He’s very weak,” Alec says. “His father uses him for his power. He can’t actually do much magic anymore, and opening portals is really hard for him. I think that’s one of the reasons he only manages to rescue a few people every year – he has to wait until he’s strong enough to open a portal and get them out of there.”

“Okay, but seriously, where are we?” Raj asks again.

“I don’t – ” Alec starts, but then the door to the barn creaks open.

“Is someone there?” a voice calls, wary but not frightened.

The three members of team Hawk jerk around to look at the man there. “Luke?” Raj asks, sounding like he’s been punched in the gut.

“Raj!” Luke walks the rest of the way in and hastily shuts the door behind him. “Lydia, Jace, it’s so good to see you guys – ”

“Luke,” Raj chokes out, throwing his arms around Luke and clutching at him. “You’re alive. I thought – we thought – ”

“I know,” Luke says, gently patting his back. He extends an arm to pull Lydia against him, too, and Jace wastes no time joining the embrace. “I wanted to be able to tell you, but I couldn’t. Magnus promised me that he’d try to watch out for you.” His glance flickers over to where Alec is sitting on the floor with Magnus passed out in his arms, and he frowns in obvious concern. Alec remembers that none of the other people Magnus rescued ever found out about his father, so Luke is probably as confused as the other members of Hawk.

Raj pulls away, snuffles, and wipes a hand over his eyes. “Not a word,” he says, when he sees Lydia looking at him.

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Yes, Raj, how dare you have _feelings_.”

“At least I didn’t hook up with Monteverde to make myself feel better – ”

Lydia flushes pink. “You know, I never said anything about you and the concubines, so you can give me and Jonathan the same courtesy, thank you very much – ”

“You got together with Monteverde?” Alec asks, interested despite his worry over Magnus.

“I was upset, he came by to tell us that he was sorry about what had happened to you – about the powers that be throwing you up against Valentine like that – he was very sweet.” Lydia lifts her chin and says. “It was a nice distraction.”

“I’m not judging you, honestly,” Alec says. “Just a little jealous. The dimples.”

Lydia snickers and Izzy giggles, and before long they’re all laughing. “Come on,” Luke says, shaking his head. “Let me bring you guys inside. I’ll make you some lunch and we can talk.”

As soon as they’re inside, Raj points at Alec and says, “Okay. Talk.”

“Okay, but I have to start at the beginning,” Alec says. He settles down on Luke’s threadbare sofa with Magnus still cradled against his shoulder. “With Asmodeus. From the way Magnus described it, he’s not exactly as powerful as he seems. But he breeds himself warlock children so he can use their power. Whenever there’s a conflict, or he wants to demonstrate his power, he siphons a bunch of power off one of them. Eventually he takes too much and they die. I asked Magnus why he doesn’t just run away, and he said that his father can find him anywhere. So in some ways, he’s as much a prisoner as the rest of us.

“He’s spent decades smuggling gladiators out of the arena. He even started the rumors himself about what he likes to do to them before he kills them, so nobody would look too closely. He tried once to get everyone out, but it backfired on him. His brother was caught and executed, but he wasn’t. I’m not sure why. He didn’t talk about it much.”

“He told me a little about it.” Luke has come back into the room with a handful of mismatching glasses and a pitcher of tea. “Because I asked all the same questions that I’m sure you did, you know, about why he couldn’t rescue everybody, why he couldn’t help my team. Apparently, his brother Ragnor wanted to go with the gladiators – thought if anyone could protect the two of them, it would be a bunch of trained fighters. Magnus thought it wasn’t safe, and stayed behind. So when Asmodeus used his magic to find Ragnor and kill the gladiators, he didn’t realize Magnus had been involved.”

“And Ragnor didn’t betray him.” Alec rubs a hand over his face. “Okay. Well, ever since then, he’s done it a few at a time.”

“How does he choose?” Lydia asks, frowning.

“I think that’s part of why he actually comes down and spends time with the gladiators,” Alec says. “You know, watches us train and everything. To get a sense of who we are, and make sure he saves people like Luke, not like Valentine.”

“I’m glad he thinks so much of us,” Jace says, rolling his eyes.

Luke squeezes his shoulder and then hands him a cup of tea. “He can only save you if you’re losing, Jace. Looks like you haven’t done that yet.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess not.”

Alec can’t contain his curiosity anymore. “How did you guys end up not fighting Valentine at the end of the year?”

“Pretty sure Magnus had several hands in that one,” Raj says. “I mean, after you died, or faked your own death, or Magnus faked your death – whatever – one of us might have freaked out a little.”

“He means himself,” Lydia says.

“You helped.”

“True,” Lydia says. Alec gives them a questioning look, and she shrugs. “Raj beat the shit out of Valentine in the shower. I kept Pangborn off him while he was doing it. Fortunately, Starkweather had already left for their rooms, and you’d taken Valentine down enough pegs during your fight that he was vulnerable.”

Alec looks at Jace. “Where were you?”

“I was _not_ participating, because you’d specifically asked me not to do that. In fact, I tried to stop Raj, but he kind of lost his shit.”

Somewhat amused despite himself, Alec looks at Raj and says, “I always knew you liked me.”

“It wasn’t just you,” Raj says. “It was you, and Luke, and Michelle, and – it was a lot of people, okay? And not just people Valentine had killed. Anyway, Jace pulled me off him, and calmed me down, but Valentine was _pissed_ , right? So the next day, he and Starkweather jumped Jace during the sparring matches.”

“That seems unfair, since Jace is the one who _didn’t_ participate,” Alec says.

“Yeah, but that’s Valentine for you. He knew that losing Jace would hurt me more than getting the shit kicked out of me.” Raj sips his tea and says, “The guards intervened, but not before Jace got knocked down and hit his head pretty good. He was dizzy and disoriented most of the day. Then when we got back to our chambers that night, there was a potion for him. We thought, great, Magnus might have killed Alec but at least he’s still looking out for us, or something. I don’t know. We were tired. Jace drank the potion, and then he couldn’t move the next day.”

“Oh my God,” Alec says, looking down at Magnus. “Yeah, I got a dose of that potion too, while all the bones in my legs were broken.”

“Since Jace had been injured outside of a sanctioned fight, it didn’t count as a casualty,” Lydia says, “and Magnus was pretty smart about the potion. If Jace had just been injured or sick, they would have thrown him into the ring anyway, just for the bloodbath. But who wants to watch Valentine kill a man who can’t even move? It takes all the fun out of it, right?”

“Couldn’t they have still put you two up against them?” Alec asks.

“Sure, they could have, but the real drama was Jace and Valentine,” Raj says. “I think they decided it’d be better for them both to live the year and restage it later. And they got a pretty good story out of Scorpion versus Crocodile. Pitted Monteverde against Pangborn, knowing he could win, and let Scorpion kill off his other two teammates. Now he’ll get a team of rookies, and the demons will get to see if he can work his rookie magic twice.”

“But you guys still wound up in first place,” Alec says.

Raj chortles. “Yeah, and Valentine was _pissed_. Because Magnus took you out of the ring, he only got points for disabling you, not killing you. It wasn’t quite enough to nudge them back into first, especially since we didn’t fight for the rest of the year, so we had no casualties and he lost Pangborn.”

“Okay, enough about that, I still want to hear what happened to you,” Jace says.

“Right, right, okay. So, Magnus decided to save me, which is partly because apparently he thought I was a pretty decent person, and partly because what happened to me really was unfair as hell – ”

“And also because he lowkey wants to bang you,” Raj says, smirking.

“There is _nothing_ lowkey about that,” Jace says with a snort.

Alec waves this off. “I was upset, for like a thousand reasons, and he basically told me I had to get over myself, go home and live quietly and try to be okay with that. Which got him absolutely nowhere with me, but then Asmodeus came in and I saw what he did to him.” He lets out a breath. “Magnus knows – he doesn’t have much longer left to live. I think he was just trying to make the most of it. I tried to get him to let me help, to come up with some plan to, to kill Asmodeus or protect him or _something_ , and he magicked me into unconsciousness and then sent me home.”

“What a dick,” Jace says.

“Yeah. But it’s like, from what he said – he didn’t think he was worth saving. Because there were so many people he couldn’t save.” Alec smoothes Magnus’ hair back from his forehead. “He’s been risking his life a hundred years to save strangers, but wouldn’t let me risk mine to save him.”

“Oh, brother,” Raj says. “So this is what it looks like when someone’s in love.”

Alec flips him off, and Izzy laughs quietly.

“Speaking of which,” Luke says, glancing out the window, “my wife and her daughter are back from the market, so – ”

“You got married?” Raj asks, laughing. “Damn, Luke, you move fast, you’ve barely been out a year – ”

“Everyone here knows about the gladiators, right?” Lydia asks, frowning.

“Yeah. We can’t stay where we used to live, so Magnus set up this whole village. I think it’s partly because of what happened to Ragnor and the others. This village is completely self-sufficient. It’s not on any maps, and Magnus has laid heavy magical protections on it so if you haven’t been told how to get here, you can’t find it by accident. That being said – ”

The front door of the house opens and a woman with auburn hair enters. She sees the group of people and stops in surprise. “We have guests?” she asks, and a redhead about their age comes in behind her.

“Clary?” Jace blurts out.

“Jace?” She’s similarly shocked, but it doesn’t slow her down more than a second. She all but throws herself across the room, into Jace’s arms. He hugs her tightly, stunned for a few moments before he buries his face in her hair and clutches at her.

“How – how are you here?” he finally asks.

“I was about to tell you, so you wouldn’t get shocked,” Luke says. He has an arm around the auburn-haired woman. “This is Jocelyn, my wife – Clary’s mother. After I got out of the arena, Jace, you had told me so much about them that I decided to check on them and see if they were okay. It was on my way here, anyway. I intended for it just to be a quick stop and not even tell them I knew you, but – the minute I laid eyes on Jocelyn, I knew I wasn’t leaving her side.”

Jocelyn squeezes Clary’s shoulder and then sits down. “Luke told us who he was and how he knew Jace, then we all came here together.”

Luke introduces them, even Magnus, though he’s still unconscious. She says she’ll scrape up something for everyone to eat.

“So what now?” Jace asks, finally letting go of Clary only to sit down on the floor and pull her into his lap. “They’ll know we’re gone by now. Geez, that poor fucker of a rookie we would’ve gotten. Wonder what’s gonna happen to them.”

Alec grimaces. “It wasn’t ideal, but sneaking through the portal during the reaping was the only way we could get to Edom.”

“How long do we have before Asmodeus comes from Magnus?” Lydia asks.

“It’s impossible to say. But I think we have some time. Asmodeus doesn’t seem to give that much of a fuck about the tournaments or the gladiators – he just wants to keep his son in hand. Which means we _might_ have until the next time Asmodeus needs a power up. That could be years. He might realize that his son ran off, and come to get him right away. But ‘right away’ means something different to demons than it does to humans. He said that the gladiators he rescued with Ragnor were killed a month later. I thought maybe it took time to track them down, but if they were with Ragnor, it means that Asmodeus didn’t go looking for Ragnor until a month after it happened.”

Everyone is nodding. Raj says, “Okay, but what are we going to _do_?”

“You all know the story of Jonathan Shadowhunter, right?” Izzy asks. “Well, he tried to summon up an angel to help the humans get free of the demons. But he couldn’t, because he couldn’t find a warlock to help him.”

Everyone looks at Magnus. Luke grimaces and says, “I don’t know that he’s going to be up to summoning anyone.”

“Maybe not,” Alec says. “I’ll talk to him about it. For now, what he needs is rest. Is there a place I can take him?”

“You can use my room,” Clary says, getting to her feet. “I’ll show you.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

To tell the truth, Alec is glad to get away from the crowd for a while. He’s glad beyond words that his friends are all right, and thrilled to see them, but he’s also exhausted. He barely slept in the week previous. He just wants to lie down for a while.

Clary has her own room, and her bed is surprisingly comfortable. Alec lies down on his back, pulls Magnus against his chest, and falls asleep immediately.

He wakes up when he feels Magnus trying to pull away from him and get up. Without thinking, he gets an arm around Magnus’ shoulders and pulls him back down. “Don’t try to move,” he murmurs. “You’re still weak.”

“I have to go,” Magnus says, his voice a little hoarse. “Before my father gets here. He’ll kill you. All of you.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Alec says, waking up the rest of the way. “Everyone here is willing to die to protect you. Besides, your father probably won’t show up for a while. We’ve got time to figure out what to do.”

Magnus shakes his head. “It’s too risky. I won’t stay – can’t stay.”

Despite his words, he’s too weak to escape from Alec’s hold. After a few more attempts to pull away, he slumps back against his chest. “You’re not going anywhere,” Alec says again, more gently. He rolls onto his side so they can face each other. “I know you don’t want anyone risking themselves for you. But you _have_ to stop thinking that you’re not worth saving.”

“I’ve watched hundreds of people die,” Magnus says, avoiding Alec’s gaze. “And done nothing to help them.”

“Because there was nothing you could do,” Alec says, and Magnus just closes his eyes. “Hey. Was Selene Hightower’s death my fault?”

At this, Magnus opens his eyes. “What? No.”

“Isn’t it? I killed her. Put my sword into her heart.”

“You had no choice.”

“I had a choice. I could have died.”

Magnus sighs. “Nobody could ask you to do that.”

“Exactly.” Alec reaches out and rubs a thumb over Magnus’ cheekbone. “You saved the people you could. There were people you couldn’t save. And I know that I can never imagine what it must have been like for, for years, _decades_ , of trying to save as many people as you could while the numbers slowly dwindled because you were getting weaker. But you can’t blame yourself for those deaths, Magnus. They weren’t your fault.”

“Even if that’s true – and I want to believe it’s true, Alec, I really do – it doesn’t matter. I’m the one putting you all at risk. You could stay here, with the others, live happy lives. There’s no reason for me to stay. I’m dying, Alexander. We both know it. I’ll live a few more years at most. You shouldn’t all risk yourselves for me.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Alec says. “We’re not going to let it happen. We’re going to find a way to destroy Asmodeus. We don’t have the strength to do it. And that’s why we’re going to summon someone who does. We’re going to call down an angel.”

“Call down an angel?” Magnus laughs bitterly. “I can’t even get out of bed, and you think I can call down an angel for you?”

“That’s why you’re going to use our strength to do it.”

Magnus shakes his head. “It would take dozens, hundreds of people – ”

“Like the hundreds of gladiators you’ve saved and gathered in one place for safekeeping?” Alec presses a gentle kiss against Magnus’ mouth. “Magnus, everyone here owes you their life.”

“You were the one who said that you didn’t owe me anything.”

“That was before I knew who you really were, knew how many people you had saved and how hard you tried. Think about this, Magnus. Think about what would happen if this really worked. We could change the balance of, of everything. Find a way to fight back. We’re not just talking about saving a few dozen gladiators, or even just about saving you.”

“You’re talking about going to war,” Magnus says. His voice breaks. “You can’t beat my father, Alec. No one can.”

“If anyone can, it’s an angel. And I’m willing to risk my life for that. We were all dead anyway. You gave us a second life, and by God we’re going to use it. If you’re going to die anyway, then do it trying to make a difference.” Alec sees the look on Magnus’ face. “Magnus, I know you’re afraid of your father. I know what it’s like to live knowing that someone else has a sword at my throat. I did it for less than a year; you’ve done it for centuries. I know I can’t imagine what that’s like. But I don’t know if he’s really as strong as you think he is. I don’t think he can be, if he’s always siphoning power off his children. I know how scared you must be. But I told you this once and I meant it: you’re not alone. No matter what happens next, we’re fighting this war together. You, me, everyone downstairs, all the people you saved. We’ll protect you. We’ll help you. I know that you couldn’t save everyone alone. But maybe we can save everyone together.”

After a few moments, Magnus nods and whispers, “All right.”

Alec smoothes down his hair and kisses him again. “It’s going to be all right, Magnus. You’re safe now. We’re not going to let anything happen to you.” He holds onto Magnus for a long time, not wanting to let go until Magnus is ready. Finally, Magnus’ stomach lets out a gurgle and they both wind up laughing. “Hungry?” Alec asks, unnecessarily, and Magnus nods. “Me too. Come on. Let’s get something to eat.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I know about Raziel, I learned off the Shadowhunters Wiki. I think I got most of it right, but please forgive anything that isn't canon compliant. ^_^;;;;

 

Alec helps Magnus to his feet. He’s shaky, but upright. They head down the stairs. The others are sitting around in Luke’s living room. Clary and Jace are still cuddling, and Izzy is poring over one of their books about Jonathan Shadowhunter with Lydia and Luke.

“Magnus!” Luke spots them first, and walks over with a broad smile, pulling Magnus into an embrace. The others all want to thank him, too, particularly for saving Luke although also for saving all of them. Alec introduces Magnus to Izzy, and then Luke introduces him to Jocelyn and Clary.

“So,” Magnus finally says, “I hear we’re going to ask Heaven for some help.”

“That’s the plan,” Luke says.

“Do we have any idea at all what an angel might actually be able to do?” Clary asks, squeezing Jace’s hand.

“From the books . . .” Izzy looks up from the one she’s been reading. “Most of these are very heavy on the ‘God helps those who helps themselves’ mantra. I think the idea Shadowhunter had was that an angel could give us the tools and the power to fight demons.”

“Makes sense,” Raj says. “And at least we’ve got plenty of fighters here.”

“Well . . .” Luke lifted his hand and made a so-so gesture with it. “Don’t get me wrong, we all work hard on the farms, but most of the people here haven’t lifted a blade or a fist since Magnus saved them. Which was decades ago for a lot of them.”

“I just meant sitting in this room right now,” Raj says.

“Fair enough,” Luke replies, laughing.

Magnus is quiet while the others chat back and forth about various ideas. Jocelyn brings both of them a bowl of stew, and he eats in silence. Finally, he says, “I need something that can serve as a portal. Is there a body of water nearby?”

Luke nods. “Lake Lyn, right over the hills on the other side of the village. It’s about an hour’s walk.”

“That will do.” Magnus lets out a breath. “This will take a massive amount of energy. The people here in this room won’t be enough. The more of the villagers who are willing to help, the better chance of success we’ll have.”

“I can’t imagine that any of them will refuse,” Jocelyn says.

Magnus lifts a hand and says, “Nobody elderly, frail, or ill. The spell could kill them. But other than that, yes, I’ll need everybody.”

“Are you going to be able to do it all at once, or will you need to like . . .” Jace waves a hand vaguely. “Take everyone’s power one at a time?”

“All at once will be best. That way I can channel it directly into the spell and very little will be lost in the transfer.” Magnus is quiet for another minute. “I think it would be best to do the spell at dawn, symbolically speaking, so we have some time to talk to the people in the village.”

“We’ll do that,” Luke says. “The rest of you stay here and rest.”

Magnus nods and closes his eyes, resting his cheek against Alec’s shoulder.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Despite all the reading he’s done, Alec really has no idea what this is going to look like. They settle down by the lake in the dim pre-dawn light. Magnus has been quiet since Luke had gotten them out of bed about an hour earlier. He seems to be drawing himself inward, preparing for the magic he’s going to do.

Alec had found out that the village actually wasn’t populated entirely by former gladiators. A lot of them had brought their families there, brothers and sisters and parents. They had married each other and had children. The village is home to about five hundred people, and not even a third of them used to be gladiators. Still, every able-bodied adult has joined them at the lake.

“I’ll need my hands free,” Magnus says, speaking for the first time since they had left the village. “So if you could just – yes, exactly,” he adds, as Alec puts a hand on his shoulder, then reaches out with his other hand for Izzy. Luke stands on the other side of Magnus and copies the gesture. Magnus is shirtless, which is somewhat distracting for Alec, but he had clearly thought about the fact that skin-to-skin contact was going to be necessary.

Magnus closes his eyes and extends his hands out in front of himself. Alec watches the power gather in them. At first, he feels the same falling sensation as before, but then as Magnus draws power from the others through him, it changes. His skin prickles, leaving his hair standing on end, and he feels a strange warmth flowing through his veins. Magnus lets out a soft gasp as the power rolls through him, the blue glow condensing around his hands. He starts chanting in a language that Alec doesn’t know, although he recognizes bits and pieces of it from the books.

The sun is starting to rise. Alec tries not to grip too tightly at Magnus’ shoulder, despite his nerves. He doesn’t know what they’ll do if this doesn’t work, and he has to remember to banish doubt. There’s no room for it in this spell. He has to focus everything on the angel they’re trying to call. He watches the ripples on the lake and listens to Magnus’ voice and thinks about everything that’s happened, thinks about the people he’s killed and how he’s not going to let any harm come to anyone else. He thinks about the way Magnus makes him feel and how determined he is to stay with him; he thinks about Hawk and how they had helped him and how he would die to protect them.

As the sun gets higher in the sky, the ripples in the lake start to reflect the light. It’s just a little at first, but then Alec realizes that the lake is getting brighter and brighter, that it’s almost entirely white now and blinding. He wonders if he should say something, but he doesn’t want to break Magnus’ concentration. He’s trying to decide what to do when a figure starts to rise out of the lake.

The angel is impossible to describe. He’s far larger than Alec had anticipated, towering over them. Every feature seems to be human at its core but is infinitely more beautiful. His hair is golden and silver, glowing in the sunlight, and his eyes are the brightest gold Alec has ever seen, with no whites or pupils. Golden wings stretch out behind him, blocking out the sun.

“I am the angel Raziel,” he says, and his voice is a smooth tenor that sends shivers up and down Alec’s spine. “Who has called me?”

“I . . .” Magnus opens his eyes, but then his knees unhinge and he collapses. Alec and Luke both grab him before he can hit the ground. The angel is still waiting, and Alec starts to panic, thinking he might leave, so as soon as he sees Magnus’ chest rise and fall, he scrambles back to his feet.

“We did,” he says, and clears his throat. “All of us. We called to beg for aid.”

“Angels cannot interfere in the matters of humankind,” Raziel says.

Alec speaks hastily, almost interrupting him, because he’s afraid that Raziel will just disappear. “Yes, but this is about the demons. Since the Incursion, humans have lost more and more ground. We’re no better than slaves now.” He’s warming up to his topic, forgetting that he’s talking to an angel. “The demons control our lives, they take us from our families, they force us to kill for their entertainment. Humanity has tried to rebel over and over again, but we just aren’t strong enough. Please help us. We just want to protect our friends, our families.”

Raziel looks at him for a long minute, which is terrifying. Alec feels like the angel’s gaze is stripping away every layer of skin and muscle and leaving nothing but his soul behind.

After what seems like a small eternity, the angel speaks again. “You speak the truth. Your desire to protect your people is pure. I will give you strength; however, I caution you that you will have to decide what to do with that strength yourself. I will give you no further aid.”

“We humbly accept even the smallest favor you can bestow upon us,” Luke says, seeing that Alec is fumbling for something appropriate.

Raziel gestures with one hand, and several items appear on the shore in front of him. One of them is a sword, which glows with ethereal light. The second is a book, bound in gray leather. The third is a cup, more of a goblet, silver but decorated with gold. While the humans watch, Raziel pricks the tip of his finger with the sword and waits while a drop of blood falls into the goblet. “Human. What is your name?”

“Lightwood,” Alec says, trying not to stammer. “Alexander Lightwood.”

“Draw blood into the cup.”

Alec thinks about asking why, but Raziel is intimidating, to put it mildly. He walks over to where the sword is embedded in the dirt, and carefully presses the back of his forearm against it. It’s so sharp that he barely needs to apply pressure to open a wound. He lets the blood drip into the cup.

Raziel gestures and says, “Drink. It will give you knowledge and power.”

Alec nods and swallows. It burns all the way down, not just into his stomach, but spreading out into every vein, every nerve. It’s like being set on fire from the inside out, and he’s left gasping.

“Alec, are you okay?” Izzy asks, and he manages a nod.

“Any human who drinks from the cup will have the same power bestowed on them,” Raziel says. “The runes in the book will augment that power. From there, you will have to stand on your own.”

Raziel’s departure is so sudden that it leaves everyone blinking. The world suddenly seems so _dark_ , even though the sun is now beaming down on them fully. They all have to take a minute to adjust. Alec rubs a hand over his face, then holds the cup out to Luke. He takes it with a nod of thanks, and takes a drink. His entire body shudders.

“Packs quite a punch,” he says, somewhat hoarsely, offering it to Izzy, who takes it with both hands.

“Try me out,” Jace says, almost eagerly, holding both his hands up.

“Okay,” Alec says. He feels a little uncertain about this, so he doesn’t use as much force as he might have otherwise. The impact of his fist against Jace’s hand still sends Jace flying backwards almost ten feet. Several people jump to break his fall.

“Holy shit!” Raj says. “Gimme that cup, I’m gonna kick some demon ass!”

“No fighting over the magic angelic cup,” Lydia says, taking it from Izzy and raising it to her lips.

“What’s in the book?” Izzy asks, picking it up. There’s a piece of metal on top of it, about six inches long and thin. “Is that adamas?”

“I think so,” Clary says. “They mine it nearby.”

“These are runes,” Jocelyn says, opening the book carefully. “This one is for angelic power, this one for speed . . .”

“Okay, so . . . Alec, let me see your arm,” Izzy says. She takes the piece of adamas and carefully draws the rune on Alec’s skin. It leaves a glowing trail in its wake, and Alec hisses in pain. “Sorry! I thought – ”

“No, you’re right,” Alec says, knowing that without knowing how. “Jace, let me punch you again.”

“Punch Raj,” Jace suggests, laughing.

“Yeah, hit me,” Raj says, holding up his fists. Alec does, and he doesn’t bother to hold back this time. Raj goes flying twice as far as Jace did, goes into a tumble, and springs to his feet with a grin.

“There are dozens of these,” Izzy says. “Agility, endurance, stealth, healing runes . . .”

Alec kneels down next to Magnus, gathering the warlock against his shoulder. His eyes flutter. Alec strokes his hair as he stirs. “Hey,” he says gently, as Magnus opens his eyes. “Hey, you did it.”

“Did I miss it?” Magnus asks, struggling to sit up.

“Yeah. Take it easy.” Alec continues to comb his fingers through Magnus’ hair and over the back of his neck. “He gave us some artifacts to make us stronger and help us fight demons. I think it’s going to be enough, Magnus. We’re going to do this.”

“Mm.” Magnus still can’t manage to sit up.

“Give him the cup, maybe it’ll help,” Jace says.

“No, we can’t,” Izzy says, looking up. “Giving angelic power to someone who’s half demon could kill him.” She pauses. “How did I know that?”

“The same way you knew to drew the rune,” Alec says, and points at the cup, where Jocelyn is offering it to her daughter. “Raziel said drinking from the cup would give us power and knowledge.”

“Okay, my turn next before I make an idiot of myself,” Jace says, but he gives a good-natured laugh.

“So what are we going to do now?” Jocelyn asks.

“We’re going to give this power to everyone who wants to fight,” Alec says, “and then we’re going back to Edom.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus draws them a map of Edom. They continue to look through the book at the runes, while the Cup is passed around. Despite the number of people, the amount of liquid in it never seems to diminish.

It’s going to take time to draw runes on everyone, and nobody wants to rush the process. Izzy draws a healing rune on Alec’s arm and watches the wound he’d gotten from the Soul Sword close up and gradually begin to fade. “Better get more adamas,” she says, looking at the one piece that had come with the book. Clary and Jocelyn take a few of the former gladiators and head to the nearby town that has the mine.

“So is the plan really to just go to Edom and try to, you know, kill as many demons as we can?” Jace asks.

“The plan is to go to Edom and free the gladiators,” Alec says, “and find and kill Asmodeus.”

Magnus gives a little shudder, but nods.

“But we’ll inflict as much other damage as we can,” Luke says. “We’re only going to have the advantage of surprise one time. The more chaos and confusion we can sow, the better. From then on, we’ll have to focus our energies on freeing the towns underneath demonic control. Hopefully, without Asmodeus in command, there won’t be an organized response on the demons’ part.”

Raj is leafing through the book. “In that case, everyone who goes in should get at least the angelic power, speed, and endurance runes. Preferably stealth, too, if we have time.”

“It’ll be easier when Jocelyn comes back with more adamas,” Lydia says. “Let’s make a few copies of the book of runes, while we can.”

Alec lets this fade into the background, still listening to them plan, but mostly watching Magnus. He still looks tired, but he’s alert and interested, and even contributes on occasion. He’s scared, but he’s okay. Alec reaches out and twines his fingers through Magnus’. Magnus glances at him, a little startled, but then smiles.

Jocelyn and Clary come back with the adamas, much of which is fashioned into jewelry and has to be chipped free. Everyone in the village is sharing information, drawing the runes on each other, excited to be finally doing _something_. They’re gathering weapons, talking about strategy. They plan the attack for the next afternoon. Demons are indolent creatures even at the best of times, Magnus says, and largely nocturnal. The tournaments were just after dawn because most demons hadn’t gone to bed yet at that point. They eat a large meal and then either sleep or laze away the afternoon and evening, before getting up to do their business at night.

Luke stresses to the villagers that they should only come if they want to fight. He wants to make that clear especially to the gladiators, most of whom had hoped to never have to fight again. But when all is said and done, there are still several hundred people who are ready to go.

They have a bonfire that night, and everyone eats their fill, and Alec grabs Magnus by the wrist and pulls him away. They find a quiet spot on the edge of the village, and Alec spreads out a blanket so they can lie down. It’s fully dark, and the sky is blanketed in stars. Magnus looks up in wonder. “I’ve never seen so many before,” he murmurs. “Stars don’t show their faces in Edom. And whenever I brought gladiators home, I never stayed more than a few minutes, and never at night.”

Alec nods, rolling onto his side so he’s looking at Magnus. “This is definitely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“It is,” Magnus agrees, then realizes that Alec is talking about him. He actually blushes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I wasn’t. The look you had just now – like you had finally seen hope, found something worth living for – that was beautiful.” Alec leans over and kisses him. “All this time, you’ve fought to _survive_ , but that’s different from fighting to live. Trust me, because I know.”

“I suppose you do.” Magnus returns the kiss with interest. “Thank you, Alec. I still have the feeling that tomorrow is going to be a disaster and we’re all going to die – but you were right. I’d rather die like this, fighting for a real chance to change things, beside friends.”

“Me too.” Alec pushes Magnus back against the blanket and kisses him again, more deeply. He can’t get enough of Magnus’ mouth against his. He wants more. Wants to touch, to taste, to –

“Alec,” Magnus says, squirming away slightly. “I need to tell you something.”

Alec freezes, waiting for the rejection.

“About what happened – when you asked for the concubine – ”

“Oh, that.” Alec relaxes. “Forget about it.”

“I just wanted to explain,” Magnus says. “Because – obviously there were things you didn’t know about me then, things that might have changed your opinion, but – I want you to know why. Because it wasn’t just that I wanted you. I do, but that wasn’t why. And I realized afterwards how it seemed to you – like I expected things out of you in return for the help I’d been giving you, and I want you to know that I _never_ would have forced you, or even expected you – ”

“I know that, Magnus,” Alec says. “You don’t have to explain.”

“I want to. I want to tell you.” Magnus reaches up and brushes his fingers over Alec’s lips. “When the guard came, asking me about the concubines, he mentioned that you were a virgin. I don’t remember why – he made a comment about it, that’s all. And at first I genuinely did intend to find a concubine for you, but then I thought about my own, er, experiences, and I thought – you deserved better than that for your first time. You deserved someone who would really want you to enjoy yourself, who would take the time to show you what it should be like.”

“Okay,” Alec says softly, and kisses him again, just as soft. “Do you still want to show me?”

“I do,” Magnus murmurs against his mouth, and after that, they don’t talk much at all.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3... 2... 1... fight~!

 

Some of the others have expressed concern about how much power Magnus is going to need to open and hold the portals for everyone to get through, but he reassures them that it’s going to be fine. Although he expended a lot of energy summoning Raziel, there was plenty to spare, and he feels better now than he has in literal decades.

“Should I take you directly into the training chambers?” he asks, making a circular gesture with one hand as he plans for the first portal.

“No, it’ll cause too much of a fuss,” Luke says. “We need to take care of the guards quickly and quietly, or else they’ll call reinforcements and we won’t have time to get our recruits.”

“You’ve been to the winner’s chambers, how about there?” Jace proposes. “Even if Valentine was a dick and took them over when he realized we were gone, all the gladiators will be in the training room.”

Luke nods. “That’ll work.”

So they come out in the room where Alec had _almost_ lost his virginity, and he blushes pink and steals a sideways glance at Magnus, thinking of their activities the night before. Magnus catches him looking, and drops him a wink.

“Geez, you two,” Raj says, shoving past them with a smirk. “Get a room.”

“Would that we could,” Magnus says, with a melodramatic sigh. “Alas, I think we’re on a somewhat tighter schedule than that.”

It takes less than ten minutes to dispose of the guards who are milling around the gladiators’ quarters. Alec is stunned at how he can fight now, how he moves so quickly and easily it’s like the world is moving around him. He has a sneaking desire to find a way to kick Valentine’s ass before they get to the demonslaying.

Raj has claimed the right to bring the drama, and nobody bothered to argue with him, so he casually jogs into the training room as if he had never left and says, “Hey, everybody, what’d I miss?” There’s a predictable uproar as the others demand to know where he’s been and what the hell is going on. Then someone spots Alec and swears loudly, startled, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

It takes a little time to get the gladiators to settle down, after which Luke effortlessly takes charge. A lot of the gladiators know him, and even the older ones like Herondale and Starkweather respect him. Valentine doesn’t, but he apparently decides to wait and hear the story before passing judgment. So Luke explains about Magnus, about Raziel, about the Cup, and then he explains the plan.

“Well, count me in,” Monteverde says, from where he’s got an arm around Lydia, and most of the gladiators are nodding and proclaiming agreement. “I’m all for kicking some demon ass.”

“Are you an idiot?” Valentine finally speaks, walking over to the center of the crowd. “You’re starting a war we can’t win. We’ll all be killed.”

Raj rolls his eyes. “That’s just what we’d expect to hear from the one guy who actually _likes_ being a gladiator. You stay here if you want, Valentine. Nobody else wants to stick around.”

“You think you can beat a demon?” Valentine scoffs. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Wait,” Jace says, and holds up a hand. Valentine sneers at him, but the others are quiet. “Hear that? That’s the sound of the guards not giving a shit that we’re having this discussion. Why? Because they’re dead, Valentine. Because we took out a dozen demons on our way in.”

“Sure, maybe you can take them if you sneak up on them, outnumber them, but that’s not what you’re talking about doing,” Valentine says.

“I’ve got an idea.” Alec walks over to Valentine. “Hey. Remember when you killed me?”

“If only I’d actually gotten that far.”

Alec doesn’t respond with words. He responds with his fists. With the speed the runes give him, Valentine never sees it coming. The power behind the blow throws him all the way across the training room and into a rack of weapons which shatters underneath him.

“Holy shit,” Herondale says.

“Oh my God, that felt good,” Alec says.

Luke holds up the Mortal Cup. “Valentine’s right about one thing. You bet your asses we’re starting a war. But it’s one we intend to win. We’re not going to let the demons make us crawl anymore. We’re taking back the world, starting here, starting today. This is our best chance to make a dent in their forces, but we need all hands on deck. The demons made us fight for their entertainment, some of us for years. Now they’re going to see exactly how dangerous they’ve forced us to become.”

“Let’s do it,” Monteverde says.

It takes a little time, although they try to move as quickly as possible. Every gladiator needs to drink from the cup, and needs the runes inscribed. Alec isn’t sure he’s completely comfortable with the idea of Valentine getting that sort of power, but they’re going to need him.

“So what’s the plan?” Herondale asks, watching in interest as Raj draws the rune for angelic power on his arm.

“We need to split up and inflict as much damage as we can,” Luke says. “This will be our rendezvous point. It’s not a complicated mission. Find demons – kill them. Meanwhile, a small force is going to go for Asmodeus.”

“How are we going to find him?” Starkweather asks.

“We don’t need to. He’ll find us. Whenever there’s trouble, the first thing Asmodeus does is drain his warlock children of their power so he can use it for himself. Which means he’ll come for Magnus, who he can find anywhere.” Luke gestures to Magnus, who’s standing off to the side, trying not to draw attention to himself. “Our best fighters will wait in his chambers with him. Once Asmodeus is dead, we’ll come back here. Magnus is going to enchant the tourney bell so you’ll be able to hear it from anywhere in the city. When it rings, head back here. He’ll open the portal and we’ll get out of the city. Inflict as much damage as you can in the meantime.”

“Why go for Asmodeus at all?” Valentine asks. “He’s the most powerful demon here. We don’t need to take him on directly.”

“Like I said, he can find Magnus any time, anywhere.”

Valentine shrugs. “I don’t see how that’s our problem.”

Alec bristles, but Luke stays calm. “I know that you don’t give a rat’s ass that Magnus saved my life, or the lives of hundreds of our brothers and sisters,” he says, “but somewhere in that blackened, shriveled heart, find a way to care that he’s saving yours. Because none of us would be getting out of here if it weren’t for him. And you might not like it, but the fact that you lost Pangborn and Blackwell this year means you’re losing control. You think you were going to last more than another couple years? Think again, Valentine. Demons don’t have long attention spans. You can only win so many times before they get bored with you.”

“I still don’t see why challenging Asmodeus is necessary.”

“Oh my God, then don’t,” Jace says. “We don’t want you with us anyway, because we don’t trust you. I’d be happier if Magnus portalled you off a cliff right now.”

“It could be arranged,” Magnus murmurs, and Alec can’t help but smirk.

Luke just shakes his head. “Jace is right. So the team with Magnus will be myself, the rest of Hawk, Monteverde, and Herondale. Agreed?”

Monteverde and Herondale both nod. The others are still passing the cup around. Raj and Lydia are working with the weapons, dipping them in the blood in the cup to imbue them with angelic power.

“If things go badly with Asmodeus, how are we going to get out of here?” Starkweather asks, picking up a sword.

“We probably aren’t,” Raj says, not looking up from what he’s doing.

Luke ignores him. “If the sun starts setting and you still haven’t heard the bell, go over a wall, through a wall, whatever works for you. Get out of the city and get as far away as you can.”

“Speaking of which, I need to go get to the bell,” Magnus says.

“I’ll go with you,” Alec says.

“Me too,” Jace says, and they start down the hallway. Jace is carrying the Soul Sword, and he keeps fiddling anxiously with the hilt. Not for the first time, he says, “You’re sure you want me carrying this? It really should be you.”

“No way, man,” Alec says. “You’re twice my better with a sword. No point in wasting your talent. Besides, I’ll have the Cup.”

“What good will that be?”

“I’m not sure, I just . . .” Alec tries to explain how he knows something he can’t possibly know. “I think it’ll give me power over demons. If I’m right, I might be able to slow Asmodeus down or distract him long enough for you to get to him.”

Jace nods and huffs out a breath. “Good. Yeah, okay, good plan. Let’s do this.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

They kill another half dozen demons on their way up to Magnus’ chambers. They’re going to have a lot of attention soon, but that’s fine by them. Luke had told the gladiators waiting below to slowly count to a hundred before they let themselves loose on the city. Alec could _almost_ feel bad for the demons. They’ll never seen it coming, and it’s going to be a bloodbath.

A few of the gladiators are staying behind to protect their rendezvous point, and Izzy is staying with them. She wants to help, and she has the angelic runes, but she’s not trained the way the others are. Alec wants her as far away from Asmodeus as possible. Their escape isn’t contingent on a single room, but if they don’t have a rendezvous, the other gladiators won’t know where to go. Magnus is feeling better – stronger than he has in decades, he says – but he doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to keep opening portals.

Nothing in Magnus’ chambers has changed, and Luke quickly looks around and decides on strategy. “We need to strike hard and fast as soon as he comes in. One of those runes was for glamours, right?”

“Yeah, this one here,” Lydia says, flipping through the book.

“Okay. So one of us should wait on each side of the door. One of us will be hidden when the door swings open, the other can use a glamour. As soon as Asmodeus comes in, we’ll take him from behind. The rest of you, wait behind the curtain. Let the first wave do what they can before you come in.”

“Who’s the first wave going to be?” Alec asks, since it sounds like they won’t live through it.

“I’ll take one position,” Luke says. Raj makes an unhappy noise, and he says, “Hey. I’m older than the rest of you, and at least I got a year of freedom. Let me take that risk.”

“Well, I’ll take the other,” Raj says. “I don’t have anyone waiting for me on the outside. Or on the inside,” he adds, smirking at Lydia and Jonathan. “You two are gonna make beautiful babies.”

“All right, but you’d better survive, because who’s going to be a bad influence on those beautiful babies if you’re not around?” Lydia asks, and Raj grins at her and takes his position behind the door. Luke draws the glamour rune on his arm and stands opposite him.

“Where should I be?” Magnus asks. “If he doesn’t see me when he comes in, he’ll be more cautious.”

“Over by the window,” Herondale suggests. “That way you can make a quick escape if you need to.”

“I won’t leave you here to fend for yourselves, but all right,” Magnus says. Before he can say anything else, there’s a commotion in the hallway. Demons are running down the stairs, shouting something about an attack. “Looks like things are getting started.”

They have to wait what seems like an eternity. Alec starts to worry that Asmodeus won’t show up, that he won’t need to take Magnus’ power since he just did a few months ago, that he won’t want to because he knows Magnus will still be weak. He wonders what the others are doing, how many of them will survive. His hands are sweating, and he grips the Mortal Cup even tighter.

Nearly fifteen minutes have passed before the door slams open and Asmodeus strides in. Raj and Luke don’t wait. Luke is the taller of the two, although he’s not as tall as Asmodeus, and he plunges his sword into the demon’s back. Raj aims low, slashing at the backs of Asmodeus’ legs to hamstring him.

Asmodeus is clearly startled, but he doesn’t lose much time. He doesn’t even have to move. A burst of raw power sweeps out of him, knocking both Luke and Raj into the wall behind them. They hit hard. Raj drops to his knees and then folds forward, unconscious. Luke staggers but manages to keep to his feet. Asmodeus is already turning towards him when the rest of them charge.

They’re fast, thanks to the angelic runes, but Asmodeus is faster. He smacks Herondale down with one hand and then levels another devastating burst of power that sends them all sprawling. Jace manages to dive out of the way, and Monteverde tries to break Lydia’s fall, but they’re all down one way or another. The Cup flies out of Alec’s hand and lands in a corner.

“Really, Magnus?” Asmodeus asks, his voice deep and rich with amusement. He grabs the foot of Magnus’ bed, breaking off a decorative spoke, turning just as Luke manages to get to his feet and slamming it across his face. Luke drops to the ground, unmoving. “The gladiators couldn’t protect your brother, and they certainly can’t protect – ”

He breaks off as Jace thrusts upwards with the Soul Sword. It cuts deep into his thigh, and he staggers, wheeling around and holding a hand out to loose another burst of power. With nothing between Jace and the cold stone floor, it’s likely to obliterate him. Alec comes out of his crouch and throws himself into the back of Asmodeus’ legs, his shoulders catching the demon in the knees and sending him sprawling to the ground.

There’s a snarl and a sudden burst of heat, and they all go flying. Alec yelps as he realizes his clothes are on fire. Lydia and Monteverde grab Magnus’ blanket off the bed and throw it over him to stifle them. When he emerges, he sees Raj back on his feet, only to have his blow parried and get thrown into Magnus’ curtains.

It goes on for what feels like an eternity. The angelic powers make them strong and fast, but it doesn’t matter when Asmodeus can counter anything with raw energy. It seems like they’re just making him angry more than anything else. If they can’t get in a solid hit, eventually they’re all going to take too much damage to get up.

“Lydia, here!” Raj yanks the curtain down. Lydia grabs the other end and they fling it over Asmodeus. Raj jumps on him from behind, trying to wrap the fabric around his head, but there’s a sudden puff of smoke and then suddenly it’s gone, incinerated. In that bare instant in time, Jace manages another hit, slashing forward with the Soul Sword into Asmodeus’ ribs.

Asmodeus slams his foot into the floor and the entire tower quakes, listing from side to side. Everyone is thrown off their feet, colliding as they hit the far wall. Luke and Herondale are still unconscious, and Monteverde’s badly hurt, clutching at a wound on his head that won’t stop bleeding. Lydia falls at just the wrong angle and fetches up against the window, the sill hitting her in the back of the knees and sending her halfway out. She screams involuntarily, and Raj manages to get her by the wrist before she can fall. Asmodeus picks up one of their dropped swords and plunges it into Raj’s back. He gasps in shock and pain, and his grip loosens.

“Raj, let go!” Magnus shouts, as Asmodeus twists the sword. Raj grits his teeth, looks at Magnus, and drops her. Magnus flings one hand out to the side, creating a portal just below her that opens back up onto his bed. Lydia goes sprawling as Alec tackles Asmodeus off of Raj. The demon snarls and sends Alec flying before grabbing Magnus by the wrist. “No!” Magnus shouts, more out of reflex than any conscious thought.

“Going to need what you have left,” Asmodeus growls, and Magnus goes limp in his grip, feet dangling off the floor as Asmodeus holds him at arm’s length.

Alec sees the Mortal Cup where it landed on the floor and snatches it up, holding it out in front of himself with hands that shake. “Let him go.”

Asmodeus half-turns to see Alec, and laughs. “You think you can control _me_ with that piece of scrap metal? I’m the King of Hell, you insolent little brat. That might work on a lesser demon or two, but me? Don’t insult me.”

“I said to let him go,” Alec says, not flinching. “In fact, first, give back the power you’ve taken from him. Every drop over every decade. Give back to him what he’s given to you.”

“Please,” Asmodeus scoffs, but Magnus has opened his eyes and started to struggle. He kicks uselessly at his father, twisting his wrist in an attempt to get away. Asmodeus doesn’t seem to notice. His eyes are locked on Alec. He’s not letting Magnus go, but he’s not taking Magnus’ power, either.

“By the power of the angels, I command you,” Alec says, not sure where the words were coming from, but somehow knowing what to say. “Return what you stole from your son.”

There’s a sudden burst of light, and Magnus screams. Asmodeus throws Magnus towards Alec, knocking them both to the ground, before he can be forced to comply. The cup goes flying out of Alec’s hand. He scrambles towards it, but it’s sliding towards the other side of the room thanks to the tilt of the floor. Asmodeus gets his foot underneath it and kicks it hard, sending it sailing out the window.

“How dare you, you _worm_ ,” Asmodeus snarls, and Jace drives the Soul Sword into his back. The demon screams, and fire suddenly races in every direction. The sword suddenly glows red, and Jace yelps and lets go, stumbling backwards. Asmodeus reaches behind himself and grabs the sword by the blade, drawing it out of his body and throwing it to the other side of the room. The chamber is suddenly stiflingly hot. The bed, the chairs, the curtains, everything is on fire. The air is impossible to breathe.

Alec goes for the sword, but Asmodeus gets him by the arm and yanks him up. The next thing he knows, the demon’s hand is around his throat, searing a mark into his skin. “Stop moving,” Asmodeus snarls, as he sees Jace crawling towards the sword, “or I’ll snap his neck.”

Jace stops. The sword is lying in a pile of debris about ten feet away, still glowing red hot. Alec looks around for help, but nobody else is moving. The other gladiators are either unconscious or too badly hurt to continue fighting.

“Magnus, get up,” Asmodeus says. “We’re taking a little trip, you and I. I’ll bring him with me. Make him pay with blood and pain for what he did to me. You’ll get to watch. He’ll die slowly, and it will be even worse for you, my son. You’ll beg for death before the end.”

“Alec,” Magnus says, as he struggles to his feet. The tower slides even further to one side. “Alec, I – ”

“Magnus, get out of here,” Alec chokes out.

“He can’t,” Asmodeus sneers. “He’s too weak. How many portals has he opened today? Do you think he has the strength?”

“I don’t,” Magnus says, his eyes fixed on his father and on Alec. “But they do.”

Asmodeus’ eyes widen. He looks down for the first time, looks at where Luke is clutching Magnus’ ankle, follows that to where Lydia has Luke’s other hand, and Raj’s hand is gripping her arm –

The portal opens, but it’s not behind Magnus. It’s underneath the Soul Sword. It falls through the portal and clatters to the floor right next to Jace. He doesn’t lose a moment, doesn’t hesitate. He grabs the sword and thrusts it upwards, through Alec’s abdomen and into Asmodeus’ heart.

Asmodeus screams. So does Alec, but it’s not because of the sword. It’s the heat behind him. Asmodeus’ entire body is dissolving into flame. He screams and screams for what seems like an eternity as the fire consumes him. And then he’s suddenly gone. The fire is gone and the room is surprisingly cool. Alec staggers, and Jace just barely manages to catch him before he falls.

“There’s a sword in me,” he says stupidly.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Jace says, his voice high-pitched and a little hysterical. “Magnus, help me – ”

“I’ll pull it out, you draw the rune,” Magnus says, and he’s stumbling a little but still on his feet. Jace nods, holding one of the pieces of adamas at the ready. Magnus grasps the sword in both hands and pulls. Alec screams again, but then he feels the by-now familiar burning of a rune being etched on his skin. The pain dissolves into warmth, and a minute later, it’s gone.

“Can I – get some of that – ” Raj coughs weakly.

“I’ve got you, Raj, I’ve got you,” Lydia says. She draws the healing rune on Raj’s back, then one on Monteverde’s temple. Their wounds start to slowly close. “We need to get out of here before the tower falls.”

“The stairs won’t be safe,” Luke says, struggling into a sitting position.

“We’ll have to risk it,” Magnus says. “I only have enough juice to open one more portal, and I think I’d better save it to get out of the city. We don’t know if enough people have survived to give me another boost.”

Despite the healing runes, they’re in bad shape. Herondale hasn’t regained consciousness, and Monteverde can barely walk. Raj and Alec are both weak from blood loss, despite the wounds having closed. They stumble down the stairs, supporting each other as best as they’re able. They meet a few demons on their way, but Jace and Lydia are still strong enough to fight. Five minutes later, they’re back in the training room. Alec embraces Izzy, who gasps in shock when she sees the blood on his shirt and the mark burned into his neck, and Luke rings the bell.

Magnus opens the portal as the gladiators and other combatants limp back into the room. Luke ushers them through a few at a time. It doesn’t take long for the demons to start following them and figure out that they’re escaping. There are only two entrances to the room, and they quickly get bottlenecked. Magnus struggles to keep the portal open, even as he uses Izzy and Clary’s strength to do so.

“No one else is getting through there,” Luke says, his face creasing in sorrow as he thinks of the people who are going to be left behind. “Izzy, Clary, go – Magnus, I’ve got you – ”

Magnus lets Luke help him through the portal. It snaps shut behind him, and the Battle of Edom is over.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everybody! <3

 

Luke’s barn is a hive of activity as the non-combatants rush around with pieces of adamas, applying healing runes to the wounded. Someone shoves a cup of water in Alec’s hands, but other than that, they don’t have a lot of time for him. They try to apply a healing rune to the mark Asmodeus had left on his neck, but it has no effect. Magnus theorizes that it’s because Asmodeus was using real hellfire, but it’s a bare mumble into Alec’s shirt. Alec settles down with his back against a bale of hay, Magnus cradled against his shoulder, and dozes. It’s been a long day.

Out of the two hundred men and women who had left the Loser’s Village to fight the demons, about two thirds have returned. The gladiators had fared slightly better, and just over thirty of them are now celebrating their unexpected freedom. Alec sees Jace and Clary sprawled out in a similar pile of straw, kissing. Raj is somewhat paler than usual, due to the severity of his injury, but he’s sleeping it off not far away. Lydia is holding hands with Jonathan while someone tends to a minor cut on his arm.

“That looks painful,” Magnus murmurs, tracing his fingers lightly over the burn mark on Alec’s throat. Alec winces a little despite himself. A few blue sparks appear at the end of Magnus’ fingers, and quickly sputter. “Sorry. I’m all out.”

“It’s fine. It’ll get better. It just needs time. And possibly one of those kickass potions that you make.”

“Tomorrow,” Magnus murmurs, his eyes sagging shut. “I don’t know that I have what I’ll need, though. I didn’t exactly what time to pack my things.”

“Sorry about that.” Alec presses a kiss into his temple. “Go ahead and get some sleep if you want. It’s getting late, anyway.”

Magnus nods and closes his eyes, relaxing against Alec. Before long, Alec is asleep, too. Some time later, there’s a thump somewhere nearby and he jerks back to consciousness. He realizes that he had fallen asleep in the pile of hay with Magnus tucked up against his side. The warlock is blinking blearily. It’s almost completely dark.

“Sorry,” a voice whispers, and Alec half-turns to see that Izzy is the one who had made the noise, dropping down into the straw a few yards away. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’fine,” Alec says, yawning. Now that he’s awake, he’s starving. He tries to slide out of the pile of straw without disturbing Magnus, but the other man’s hand grasps at his shirt as he’s pulling away. “Just gonna go get something to eat,” he murmurs.

“I’ll come with you,” Magnus says, allowing Alec to help him to his feet.

They emerge in the dim light of the torches that have been scattered around the clearing. There are still plenty of people awake, who are still working to make sure that everyone with injuries had received care and that all the gladiators were accommodated. They get Alec and Magnus some tea, then some bread and cheese.

The two of them settle in the grass not far from the barn and watch the firelight. It’s a little chilly, and Magnus clearly isn’t used to the cold, having lived in Edom his entire life. He’s pressed up against Alec’s side, and Alec has to keep an arm around him - not that he minds doing so in the slightest. After a few minutes, he feels Magnus’ shoulders trembling, and turns to look at him. He’s surprised to see that Magnus is crying, tears trickling down his face as he watches the fire. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just . . .” Magnus hastily wipes his eyes. “I just realized . . . I’m going to live.” He lets out a hoarse little sob. “Alexander. I’m not going to die. I’m not – ”

Alec reaches out and pulls Magnus into his lap, cradling Magnus’ head against his shoulder. He smoothes down his hair and presses kisses into his forehead and temple while he waits for the worst of the hysterics to pass. After a while, Magnus lets out a quiet little shudder and relaxes.  “Better?” Alec asks.

Magnus nods and lets Alec thumb the tears off his face. “For such a long time . . . I just tried to put it out of my head. But the weaker I got, the less I could. And I thought . . . maybe I thought I deserved it. I watched so many people die. Surely it had to be my turn. Especially after Ragnor. I never understood why I lived so much longer than my siblings. It wasn’t fair. So I tried to tell myself . . . it was time. But I wasn’t ready.” His voice trembles. “And then I met you. After I brought you home, I thought . . . maybe that was enough. Meeting you . . . someone who actually saw who I really was . . . that should have been enough. But I still wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to go.” Magnus chokes up again. “God, Alec, I didn’t want to go.”

“I know,” Alec says, smoothing down his hair again.

“Even with everything we were planning, I didn’t dare hope. But now – I think it finally sank in. Asmodeus is gone. He can’t – he can’t hurt me again. I’m going to live. And I didn’t – I didn’t know it was possible to be so happy. But at the same time, I felt . . .”

He can’t seem to finish the sentence, but Alec knows what he’s going to say, knows it so well. “You felt guilty. For living when other people hadn’t.”

Magnus nods. “My brothers and sisters . . . the other gladiators . . . why should I have been so lucky?”

“I don’t know, Magnus. Believe me when I say that I wondered the same thing after you saved me, and hated myself for being the one who lived. I don’t think there’s really a good way to explain it. It’s just the way the world works. But I think your brothers and sisters would be happy that you’re going to live, Magnus. I think they would be really happy.”

“I hope so.” Magnus takes a deep breath, lets it out, and leans more heavily into Alec’s embrace. “What happens now?”

“Now, we live,” Alec says, hugging him a little tighter. “It won’t be easy. We’re going to have to fight. We might have killed a lot of demons at Edom, but the world is still under their control. We’re going to have to take it back from them, a piece at a time. But we’re going to do it together. Not just you and me, but all of us.”

Magnus nods, and he’s quiet for a moment. “It probably makes me a coward, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to fight. That just . . . wants to be safe. That wants _you_ to be safe.”

“I don’t think that makes you a coward,” Alec says. “I mean, there’s a difference between wanting and doing. Of course you want us to be safe. That just makes you a reasonable person. I want us to be safe, too. If I could wrap you in cotton and shield you from the world for the rest of your life, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“Thank you, Alexander.” Magnus sighs a little. “Imagine that. A little house on the lake. With a garden. You could swim shirtless every day.”

Alec laughs. “You’ll see plenty of me shirtless, I promise.”

“And a cat. I’ve always wanted a cat.”

“We will definitely get a cat.” Alec leans over and kisses him on the temple. “We’ll have that someday, Magnus. It might have to wait a lot longer than either of us would like, but we’ll have it. I promise.”

“Peace in our lifetime?” Magnus asks.

“Maybe not. But I think a point will come where we will have done enough. Because it isn’t just us. We’ve started something bigger than either of us, bigger than both of us. We just have to keep it going now.”

“You make a good point.” Magnus yawns and cuddles close to him. Alec lays down in the grass and pulls Magnus against his chest, and they both fall asleep there.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

When Alec wakes up again, the sun is rising. He’s damp from sleeping in the grass all night, and dew has collected on his skin. Magnus is still cradled against him, asleep and peaceful. For a minute, Alec isn’t sure what woke him, but then he heard two familiar voices talking over each other.

“Obviously you think you know best,” Luke is saying. “But - ”

Valentine interrupts him to say, “You’re the one who isn’t - ”

“Damn it, Valentine, for once in your life just shut up for three minutes,” Luke says. “I know you were in that arena for a long damned time, and you think you’re smarter than anyone else just because you survived. And hell, I’ll hand it to you, that was quite an accomplishment. I don’t blame you for wanting to keep surviving. But we have work to do.”

“If you go out there and start throwing these so-called nephilim at demons, they’re going to die. Which I, personally, don’t give half a damn about, but the whole point of this is that we’re stronger now. We should stay here, fortify this village - ”

“There isn’t enough time in the day for me to list all the reasons why that isn’t going to work!” Luke retorts. “If for no other reason, I’m not going to hold people prisoner. The gladiators who got freed are going to want to go home, to check on their families and make sure they’re safe from the demons.” His voice softens a little. “Damn, Valentine, isn’t there anyone you want to be reunited with?”

Valentine doesn’t respond to that. Instead, he says, “There’s no way just throwing ex-gladiators at the problem is going to fix it.”

“It’s still a better plan than waiting here. If the demons find this place, they’ll come in force. We have a couple hundred fighters here, that’s it. The angel blood gave us power, but we’re not invincible! If we wait here, we’ll be wiped out.”

“If we spread our forces thin, we’ll be wiped out faster.”

“What’s a better plan? Send three or four nephilim to a village with twenty demons, so each one has to fight half a dozen? Or wait here until the demons come in the tens of thousands, leaving each one of us fighting hundreds?”

“If you assholes hadn’t lost the Mortal Cup, we could make more nephilim.”

“Well, Valentine, maybe if you had agreed to help us fight Asmodeus, we would’ve done a little better against him and he wouldn’t have had the chance to kick it out the damned window!” Luke takes a deep breath. “What’s done is done. I’m not any happier about the fact that we lost the cup, trust me. But that’s not what’s important. Right now, we have the advantage. The demons have been taken off guard, but they’ll rally. We can’t give them time to form a counter offensive, let alone bring that counter offensive here to attack this village.”

There’s a long silence, after which Valentine says, “Fine. What about that thing?”

Alec doesn’t know what he’s talking about, can only assume that he pointed at something, but he figures it out a moment later when Luke’s voice goes frosty. “That ‘thing’ saved your life. He saved all our lives.”

“It’s half demon. It watched us suffer for years and did nothing - ”

“Are you an idiot? How can you say Magnus did ‘nothing’ when you’re standing in a village full of people he saved?”

“Compared to the number of people who were killed - ”

“No. Stop. I am not having this discussion with you, Valentine. You of all people have no right. The rest of us, we did what we did to survive. We killed other people because we had no choice. But you, you were different. You enjoyed the killing, always did. I don’t know if the way you bullied people and reveled in killing those weaker than yourself was a defense mechanism or if there’s something rotten at the core of you. I don’t know who you would have been if you hadn’t been reaped. That’s a question neither of us will ever have the answer to. But you, out of everyone in this village, don’t get to say shit about the choices Magnus made to survive.”

Valentine is quiet for a minute, and Alec risks cracking his eyes open to see if he had just walked away. He hasn’t, though. He’s still standing facing Luke, practically toe-to-toe with him. Finally, he says, “It’s half demon.”

“He’s also half human. All the warlocks are half human. And if we can get them to side with us, that’s an ally that we can’t pass up. We’re going to need them, which means we’re going to need Magnus. He’s the only one with even a small chance of convincing them.”

“Allies?” Valentine sounds disgusted. “I can’t believe you would even consider that.”

“Would you rather they be our enemies? This war is going to be hard enough. We have to take every advantage we can get. Yes, their fathers are demons. But their mothers are human, which means at the very least, they get to choose whose side they want to be on. And I mean to be damned sure that they know they’re welcome to side with us.”

“You’re going to end up in a world of regret if you trust a demon.”

“I’d sooner trust a warlock than trust you.” Luke turns away from him. “I want you out of this village, Valentine. Go find some demons to kill. Killing is what you’re best at. But I don’t trust you at my back - and I’m sure as hell not going to leave you in this village with the people I care about.”

“I wouldn’t want to stick around here anyway,” Valentine sneers in response, and walks past Luke, shouldering him aside even though there’s plenty of room to go around him.

Luke watches him go, shakes his head, and mutters just loud enough for Alec to hear, “Asshole.” Then he turns and walks away as well, heading back towards his house.

Alec yawns and decides not to worry about it. After getting free of the arena, he and Izzy had put this whole plan into motion, and it had worked even better than he had anticipated. All he had really wanted was a way to keep Magnus safe. Now they might get a way to keep the world safe. But he doesn’t need to be in charge anymore. He’s happy to let Luke make the hard decisions.

Once the sun is up and the scent of cooking food permeates the air, it’s proven that Luke was indeed right about everything. The gladiators who had been freed are barely finished with their breakfast before they start clamoring to know exactly where they are, so they can make plans on how to get back to their families. Even Hawk isn’t immune from this. Jace has no family besides Jocelyn and Clary, but both Raj and Lydia do, and they’re anxious to see them. Alec would like to go back to his village, too - just because his family has made it to the loser’s village doesn’t mean that there aren’t former friends of both his and Izzy’s that he wants to make sure are all right.

The people living at the village have mapped out the surrounding area fairly well, and with Magnus’ help, they place the village on a more extensive map which they then start handing around to all the gladiators. “But, if you guys can hold your horses for a few minutes, I want to talk to you about strategy and even deployment of our forces,” Luke says.

He’s got such an air of natural leadership that even the older gladiators stop to listen. Luke takes their master map and puts the hometown of each gladiator on it. Then he talks to the former gladiators who have lived in the loser’s village for years. They divide up into groups, with two or three of the villagers going with each gladiator.

They talk at length about tactics and strategy, about how they’re going to stay in touch with each other, what they’re going to do with the remaining demonic strongholds. Then Luke asks Magnus about the other warlocks.

Magnus is quiet for a long minute, holding his cup of tea in both hands. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “Asmodeus is the only demon I know of who actively bred children to use their power. The other warlocks tend to have been more of a . . . byproduct, for lack of a better term, of demonic lust for humans. Some of them are kept by their fathers and raised more as demons. Some are kept by their mothers and raised more humanely. But the majority, as far as I know, are cast off by both parents. There are warlock conclaves where the children are basically left on the doorstep, and other warlocks take them in.”

“Do you know where these conclaves are?” Luke asks.

“A couple of them, yes. But I don’t know if you’ll get very far knocking on the door. These warlocks inherently distrust both humans and demons. They’ve been abandoned by both worlds, so they created their own.”

“If all I can get out of them is neutrality, a pledge that they won’t help their demonic fathers, I will take that with a song in my heart,” Luke says.

“You don’t bother us and we won’t bother you,” Jocelyn says with a nod.

Magnus nods. “I think I can probably get that much from them.” He glances at Alec. “I know you wanted to go back to your home - ”

Alec squeezes his hand. “I’m with you,” he says firmly. “I want the people from my hometown to be freed from demonic control, to be safe and protected. I don’t have to do that myself.”

“We’re gonna be over by there anyway,” Lydia says. “My town is only about two days’ journey from yours. We can stop by yours and every village in between.”

“Thanks,” Alec says with a nod. He looks at his sister. “Izzy?”

“I’m with you, of course,” Izzy says.

“So am I,” Jace says.

Alec shakes his head. “Jace, you should stay here. You just got reunited with Clary - ”

“What makes you think I’m not going, too?” Clary asks. “I’m a nephilim just like you. Wherever the fight is, count me in.”

Alec smiles a little despite himself, remembering Jace’s description of Clary - kind and sweet and always ready to say ‘fight me’. He looks between the two of them and says, “It’s up to you guys. I’ll be glad to have you along, if you want to come.”

“And that will be quite enough,” Magnus interjects. “Any more than that, and we’d risk coming off as threatening. But you two will have a week or so to enjoy being reunited. I need a little time to recover my strength before I go back out into the world.”

Luke nods. The conversation turns to other things, like how to mine more adamas and how to make sure that the valley is protected. The possibility of trying to sneak back into Edom to recover the Mortal Cup is discussed, and tabled for the time being. Edom will be in an uproar right now, and nobody will be getting in. “Maybe later,” Luke says, and everyone agrees.

“In the meantime, there might be a way to make more nephilim,” Raj says, and smirks at Luke. “Better get busy.”

“We have no idea if it would breed true,” Luke points out, but he’s actually blushing.

“No, we don’t, but I think it’s more likely that it will than that it won’t,” Magnus says. “We know that demonic power is passed down. Beyond that, Asmodeus was a fallen angel. When he made children, they inherited some of his power. So it’s likely that angelic power is passed down as well. My guess is that the nephilim power will not only breed true between two nephilim, but between a nephilim and a human.”

“I guess we’ll find out when we find out,” Jocelyn says firmly, although she glances at Luke with a little smile.

They talk about the provisions everyone’s going to need for their journey, and after that, the meeting breaks up and people get to work. Jace pulls Alec aside as he’s getting to his feet. “Hey! Can you do something for me?”

“Sure,” Alec says. “Name it.”

“Will you be my best man?”

Alec grins. “Absolutely!”

Jace and Clary say their vows by the lake at sunset. There’s a marriage rune in the book, and Jocelyn has taken a piece of adamas and mounted it on a delicate piece of wood so they can draw the runes on each others’ hands. There’s not a dry eye in the gathering, and when all is said and done, Jace and Clary kiss for so long that Raj and Lydia start throwing tufts of grass at them.

“Want to go for a walk around the lake?” Alec asks, when the party is breaking up.

“Sure,” Magnus says, twining his fingers through Alec’s.

They walk in silence for a little while, watching the stars come out. “How are you feeling?” Alec asks.

“All right. A little tired.”

“Well, it’s been a long day.”

“Mm. But a good one.” Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand. “Better than that, actually. This has been the best day of my life. I feel so much lighter than I did before.” He leans over and presses a kiss into Alec’s temple. “Thank you.”

“I’m not sure why you’re thanking me instead of vice versa,” Alec says. “You’re the one who saved my life.”

“And you came back for me. In a hundred years, nobody had ever done that before.”

Alec stops walking and pulls him into a real kiss. “I will always come back for you. If we ever get separated again. But I don’t plan on that happening.”

“Me neither.” Magnus kisses him back. “It’s getting cold. Shall we go back to the village?”

“Good idea,” Alec says. “I have some ideas about how to make this day even better.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Raj and Lydia leave the next morning, each of them with their own group of former gladiators to help them take back their homes. Lydia hugs Alec for a long minute. Raj slaps him on the back and calls him names and then knuckles tears out of his eyes when he thinks no one is looking.

That afternoon, Alec’s family arrives, having finally completed the journey from their hometown. Alec is happy to be reunited with his parents and Max, and they spend most of the day explaining everything that had happened since they had parted.

Luke is a gracious host, but after dinner he points out that he’s really running out of places to put people, and the Village Elders have designated a few houses for the newcomers. There were people who had gone to Edom and not come back, and their houses were empty. “Might as well use them,” Luke says. Izzy goes with her parents and Max so Magnus and Alec can have some privacy.

Magnus balks a little as he enters the little cottage that Luke pointed out to them. “It feels . . . disrespectful,” he says.

“It does, but Luke knew them and we didn’t, so . . .” Alec lights a lantern and sees Magnus look around the main room. He picks a framed picture up off the mantle and an expression of sorrow crosses his face. “But I guess you did, huh. You knew everyone here.”

Magnus nods a little and studies the picture in the dim light. “Well, all the gladiators, anyway. Not all their families. But these two . . . I remember them well.” A slight smile crosses his face. “They were teammates. Rescued about a year apart. I remember . . . when Sarah woke up in my chambers, when I explained to her what I did, and she realized that Jonas wasn’t dead . . . she hugged me so tightly that it hurt.” He sets the picture down. “That must have been over twenty years ago now. They were reunited, they found love, even had a child, it looks like. And now they’re dead.”

Alec walks over and takes Magnus’ hand, looking at the second picture, which was the two gladiators with a young child. The picture is clearly old, so the child is probably mostly grown up by now, probably living in the village somewhere. “Yes,” he says, “but they made their own choices. I’m sure they wouldn’t regret it.”

“Wouldn’t they? I’m fairly sure they wouldn’t rather be dead than alive.”

“No, I’m sure they wouldn’t, but . . .” Alec searches for the words to explain what he means. “But look at what you gave them, Magnus. Look at what they had. They both would have died in the arena. Instead they found a home, they had a family. They had twenty good years that they wouldn’t have had without you. And more than that, they had a _choice_. They died because they found something worth fighting for, and nobody forced them. That _matters_ , Magnus. We all die in the end. We’re usually not ready. Maybe to die _for_ something is the best thing we can hope for.”

“Maybe,” Magnus says.

“They had a good life, Magnus,” Alec says. “You gave them that. And their deaths weren’t your fault.”

Magnus leans into his shoulder. “Thank you, Alexander.”

“You’re welcome.” Alec presses a kiss against Magnus’ temple. “Come on, let’s get some sleep, okay? Starting tomorrow, we’re going to have a lot to do. But we’ll do it together, okay? Always.”

Magnus nods. “Always.”

 

~fin~


End file.
